Читать книгу Gabi, a Girl in Pieces - Isabel Quintero - Страница 27

September 20

Having a father who is addicted to meth is exhausting. It’s like you have to walk on eggshells all the time. Have to be worried all the time. Have to be scared all the time. And definitely have to be anxious all the time. People on meth are always looking for and thinking about meth. That’s it. There is nothing more important to the meth addict than the next fix. They’re always chasing something they will never catch and even though they know this, they will never stop chasing it because they can’t. It is really sad. We have been on the sidelines watching my dad chase it since I can remember. His teeth are already gone, his skin is getting gross, plus he looks so much older than he is. Sometimes when he’s crashed on the living room floor, I just sit and watch him, pretend he’s sleeping instead of passed out. Making sure he doesn’t die. My father’s addiction has also forced me to learn so many things that most of my classmates don’t know. Things I wish I didn’t know. I wish I was ignorant like they are. I wish I could come home and unknow and unsee things. I wonder how that would be, having a father who wasn’t an addict?

WORDS I’VE HAD TO LEARN BECAUSE OF MY FATHER

Dopamine

Formication

Meth Mouth

Receptors

Tweaking

Methamphetamine

Neurotransmitter

Intravenous

Chronic

Psychotic

Hepatitis B and C

Xerostomia

Dependence

Hyperactive

Obsessive

Aggressive

Depressed