Читать книгу Gabi, a Girl in Pieces - Isabel Quintero - Страница 30

September 29

Today was a pretty good day. I think I am finally over Joshua Moore. Sandra can have him all she wants because I now have a huge crush on Eric Ramirez who also happens to be in my Algebra II class. He is soooooo hot! He is light-skinned (not as white as me, but close), has longish brown hair, dresses like a skater and has beautiful brown eyes. He does have one big flaw though—he smokes a little too much weed. I don’t know how I feel about smoking. I mean, I know how I feel about it. I think it’s just a weed, so whatever. But since my dad is an addict, I don’t do any of that stuff. It would kill my mom. Kill her. And I probably wouldn’t be able to sit for months. Even if I will be eighteen in six months, she has made it clear that it doesn’t matter how old I am, she is still my mother. Besides the whole weed thing, he’s pretty awesome. The best part is that Cindy and Sebastian think that he likes me too! Eek!

I don’t know though. I don’t want to get too excited because I am always afraid that boys will only pretend to like me as a joke. Because, really, who would like the fat girl? Sebastian said I was crazy for thinking that. And Cindy said that was the stupidest thing she’s ever heard. She said, “Gabi, you’re not fat. Seriously, you’re average…okay, maybe a little chubby. I’m not gonna lie and say you’re super skinny, but you’re not fat!” That’s pretty much what they say all the time, but it’s hard for me to believe when my own mother is constantly pointing out that I need to lose weight. But maybe they’re right. I need to be more positive this year so I wrote a poem about it in my poetry class. We were supposed to write a list poem and so I did it about my goals for this year.

I SWEAR

To make this year better than last

To be positive

To lose weight

To get a kiss

To make out

To get straight A’s

To wear a smaller size by the beginning of summer so I can wear that really cute polka dot bikini that I saw at the mall with Cindy who tried it on and of course it fit perfectly but made me look like an overstuffed piñata that had all the candy whacked out and all that was left was colorful tissue paper and cardboard.

I SWEAR

To learn how to put eyeliner on

To be happy in my skin (whatever that means, but it is being said by all those skinny women on TV who don’t have much skin to begin with, and so they don’t have to worry about how much happiness to fit into their skin, but us fat girls have so much more skin we have to claw and scratch happiness from anywhere we can get it so that we can stuff it into our skin)

I SWEAR

To read more

To write a lot of poems

To not be mad at Sandra anymore

I SWEAR

To not make promises that I can’t keep.

I hope Ms. Abernard doesn’t get mad because I wrote “make out” and “get a kiss.” And I hope she doesn’t make us read them out loud or put them up on the wall. That would suck big hairy toes.