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INTRODUCTION

One thing I’ve learned is that no matter how perfect someone’s life may appear from the outside, everyone faces challenges and has their ups and downs. The grass may look greener in your neighbor’s yard, but start rolling around in it and you’ll surely find some hidden rocks and weeds. No matter who we are, there is always at least one area in our lives where we’re struggling, whether it’s our finances, our health, our relationships, our spirituality, our home, our time management, or our work.

For those of you who have followed me through my journey as one of the original cast members of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, you are familiar with some of my own struggles. Over the show’s six seasons, I’ve shared with millions of viewers my miscarriages, relationship struggles, and family issues; my body insecurities and my fears of driving on highways and public speaking; the devastating news of my youngest son’s autism diagnosis; and the financial struggles our family has faced. Life has not always been a bed of roses for me, but one thing is certain: I will always pick myself up, and I will always rebuild. I will never give up.

For me, the key to surviving whatever life throws your way is in how you choose to perceive situations and react to them. It’s keeping a sense of humor. It’s finding balance and purpose. It’s realizing your strengths and exploring and focusing on what you’re passionate about. It’s sharing your knowledge with others in hopes of making someone else’s life a little easier, more enjoyable, and more fulfilling. It’s allowing yourself quality time to create your own beauty from the inside out. When you take care of your own needs and desires, you will be in a much better position to care for and serve others.

I’ve been interested in the wellness and beauty industries as far back as I can remember. I have a background in health and fitness; when I attended community college in Arizona, I studied body conditioning, weight training, nutrition, biology, anatomy, and physiology. I have also been a licensed cosmetologist for over twenty years. I’ve worked in salons doing hair, behind a department store’s makeup counter, as a freelance makeup artist, as a convention model, and with various hair, makeup, and skin-care companies.

I’ve also worked with chemists and formulators to develop new beauty products. I’ve tested and given advice and reviews on many beauty products for a number of websites and national magazines, as well as for beauty PR and consulting firms.

I’ve done beauty roundups on national TV and I’ve been a spokesperson for various doctors and beauty products in order to educate consumers.

I do all this because it brings me joy, and that joy helps me push through life’s obstacles. When I take care of myself, I feel better about myself, and I have always enjoyed helping others look and feel beautiful, too. I decided to write this book because I want to share my passion and my years of experience in the beauty industry with you in hopes that it will help you and bring you joy as well. In it, I’ve included my tips, tricks, and secrets to finding beauty from the inside out so you can be the best you can be. Together with Jené Luciani—my friend, fashion stylist, bra expert, and author of The Bra Book—I’ll help you get centered, get on track, get organized, get healthy, get fit, get beautiful hair, get flawless skin, get made up, and get stylish and sexy!

Jené and I believe that taking care of ourselves mentally and physically helps us be our best, so that we can give our best to others. To be constantly improving and evolving, we need to believe in ourselves, no matter the difficulties we face. During those rough patches, learn what you can from the experience and keep the faith. Keep believing that “this too shall pass,” because it can only rain for so long; eventually, the sun will come out. With a little luck, a lot of hard work, and a positive attitude, you can have whatever you want out of life; you just have to go get it!

—Jacqueline

There’s one question I seem to get asked all the time: “How do you juggle everything on your plate and still make time for yourself?” That question is usually followed by: “You must be exhausted/superhuman/crazy.”

While I can definitely relate to all of those adjectives on any given day, making it all work is something I have to work at on a daily basis in order to maintain my sanity and keep my life running smoothly. Although I do sport a Wonder Woman tattoo, I unfortunately don’t harness any superhuman powers. I’m fortunate to have a career doing something I love, albeit in a very tough and competitive industry where you have to hustle for every booking and job. My other job title—Mom—I of course wear proudly, but it only adds to the juggling act I do every day. I know you all can relate!

Many of you know me from my regular fashion, beauty, and lifestyle segments on TV shows like NBC’s Today, Wendy Williams, Meredith, Dr. Oz, and many others. Becoming a nationally recognized fashion and beauty correspondent was a dream come true, but it didn’t happen overnight. It was the result of more than a decade of working behind the scenes in TV production, as well as writing and researching many topics for magazine articles and advice columns. Some of you may also know me as the Bra Lady because I’m the author of the bestseller The Bra Book, which came out in 2009 and was just contracted for a second edition! Writing The Bra Book was as personal a decision as it was a professional one; after many years of struggling to find the right bra, something that most every woman struggles with but that was exacerbated for me by a breast deformity, I realized there was a great need for a cohesive and comprehensive resource on that very important topic. Turns out I was right, as women all over the world have embraced The Bra Book and its advice, and I’m so grateful!

The same year The Bra Book was released, I gave birth to a beautiful daughter named GiGi. At three years old, she was diagnosed with a controversial condition called Sensory Processing Disorder. A lot of the recommendations for managing this condition are similar to those for children on the autism spectrum, so my friend and fellow TV personality Jacqueline Laurita has been a great help and a great resource, having gone through her son Nicholas’s autism diagnosis.

In 2014, as I was going through a divorce and Jac and I were just beginning work on this book, I almost lost my life to a massive pulmonary embolism—a blood clot in my lung. This was the result of a genetic predisposition to blood clots that I didn’t know I had, coupled with recent birth control pill use, which turned out to be a potentially lethal combination. Rather than letting what happened to me get me down, I wrote about it in SHAPE magazine. Afterward, I received many, many letters from women across the country who either have been in similar situations, or told me that my story prompted them to get a blood test before they went on the pill. That’s one benefit of living your life like an open book.

My entire career has basically been about using my media presence to help other women, whether by giving them fashion tips to look their best based on their body shape and budget, or by sharing bra-fitting advice. This is truly what I’m passionate about. For me, it’s not just about shoes and coats and what’s “in” this season. It’s also about sharing parts of my life and my own struggles as a busy working mom in an effort to help other women. We all go through trials and tribulations. I believe I’ve been given a voice, not only as a media personality but also as a writer, so I can use what I’ve gone through to help others on their journeys.

Writing has always been my passion, and with one successful book under my belt, I’ve turned my knack for giving useful advice into a lucrative career. When I started thinking about my next book, I realized I wanted to team up with another busy, hard-working gal who also lives a public life but has private struggles too. I’d met Jac through her fitness trainer and our mutual friend Jolene Matthews (who offers her own expertise in this book as well!), and of course I had seen her on Real Housewives. I related to the challenges she faced as a wife and mother of a special needs child who was also managing a high-profile career. Her longtime expertise in the beauty industry matched perfectly with my own expertise in health and style. It was clear that Jac was the perfect person to team up with to share some of the things we’ve learned along the way.

So, we began putting that proverbial pen to paper. Then, less than a year after surviving the pulmonary embolism, surprise! My boyfriend Patrick and I learned that we were expecting a baby boy, whose due date was just a couple of months before this book was set to be released. He and I blended our families, and I’m now living a busy life in upstate New York juggling writing, TV appearances, and family. It’s insanely hectic—and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

This book isn’t just a how-to about beauty, or even about life. It’s more of a why-not. Why not figure out ways to carve out time for yourself without the guilt? Why not go after your own dreams instead of living someone else’s? You’re never too busy, too old, or too “stuck” to go out and get it, whatever “it” may be for you. Sometimes maybe all “it” is is a much-needed pedicure or five minutes of meditation.

After coming through a divorce and nearly losing my life in the same year, and then, in the following year, making a major move and essentially starting over again, when people ask how I do it, I simply say, “I just do!” Every year, I decide what it is I need to “get” for myself, and then I set those goals. This year? It’ll be peace of mind that my children will have the strongest role model they possibly can.

Jac and I hope this book inspires you to make time for yourself and get what you need out of life, too!

—Jené