Читать книгу Hard Cuddles - James Harding - Страница 7

A MASSIVE BABY

‘Are you ready for this?’

The scales read 12 pounds 3 ounces when they weighed me at Bethlehem Hospital, Caulfield on 1 April 1981. I was the size of a six-month-old baby. Mum told me I was very sick. I swallowed some crap at birth. It turns out this isn’t uncommon and might even be considered good life experience. I overcame my early predicament and was doted on by my parents and grandparents. My mother is a kind and loving person but we are very similar people and would often annoy each other. Mum was trying to get me to kinder as early as possible. Not only was I a handful, I was one of those kids that was ready to socialise very early. My upbringing was full of Sri Lankan customs. Nanna and her Mum would often come over when I was sick or misbehaving. I instantly knew I had better tighten things up a bit when Nanna came over.

Mum told me I was playing up in the supermarket one day and she walked over to tell me off. I took the opportunity to throw myself on the floor and yell out, ‘Please don’t kick me’. I hope that gives you an idea of how cunning I could be at such a tender age. Mum got used to dealing with all sorts of behaviour from me. Once I got loose, went out the front and changed everyone’s mail around in the street. By the time Dad got home from work, Mum had usually had enough. We had exhausted each other. Dad would tap in and Mum would jump in the car to go and get some peace and quiet.

Right from the beginning there were always two voices in my head: a good voice and a voice that was more fun and interesting. You don’t have to be a doctor to work out which one I followed in life. It wasn’t till my late twenties did I even consider that the good voice may be trying to help me. I’m fairly sure from some of the stories my mother tells me I was a spirited child, forever pushing the boundaries and pushing people into pools.