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Day 2

you're not alone

I canSee angelsSitting on your ears,

Polishing trumpets,Replacing lute strings,Stretching new skins on the drumsAnd gathering wood for the evening's fire.

They all danced last nightBut you did notHear them.

—Hafiz, from “I Can See Angels,” The Gift, Translation by Daniel Ladinsky

Why do we feel alone? We know intellectually that we can't be. Even the least scientifically inclined has heard enough physics to know that we are made of energy. (Thank you, Albert Einstein, for a formula so simple that even I, who barely scraped through algebra, can understand it.) And if we're all energy, then it isn't much of an intellectual leap to realize we are all connected. So why then, if we understand the way the universe is constructed, do we feel so alone? I do not have an answer for this. It seems to be the human dilemma. We are all one, but on any given morning, we can wake feeling like one lone person chasing answers, one soul seeking peace, one heart seeking hope.

I know I'm not alone, but I can still feel alone. So every day I stand in front of my altar and say again, out loud, what I know to be the truth. I don't say it for heaven. Heaven already knows. I say it for me. I say the words to remind myself that Spirit is with me. My guides are with me. My guardian angel is with me. I know the Archangel Michael is with me. And the Archangel Gabriel? She's with me. She has to be. She is the loving protectress of all writers. I call on her and her copper orange light every time I write.

I know my parents are with me, too. Dad has appeared to me as a cardinal, his favorite bird, for years. He shows up in the tree outside my dining room window at dusk. When I hear his chirps, I stop, say hello, and thank him for watching over me. After Mom died in 2007, I wondered when she'd show up. One evening last winter, Dad peeped his twilight hello. I went to the window and asked, “Where's Laurene?” Immediately his beautiful orange mate flew to the tree. I cried tears of greeting and thanksgiving. Since then, they've always come as a pair. On a long walk recently, I felt lonely and scared and said in a whisper, “Mom, Dad, I need you.” I rounded the corner and there they were in an oleander bush at eye level, just eighteen inches away.

I am not alone. And neither are you. But do you know who is with you? It could be angels, saints, spirit guides, animal messengers, loved ones, goddesses, fairies. It could be a whole chorus of helpers. In fact, it probably is. Wouldn't life be easier, and a whole lot more fun, if you knew who was with you and how to turn to them for help? There are several things you can do to become more aware of your companions. Start with deep soul writing. Ask who's with you. Ask for a sign—something unmistakable. Then pay attention to what happens. Take nothing for granted—nothing. Angels, I swear, have a wacky sense of humor. Don't assume something small or weird or odd isn't a signal from them. Last fall, for example, a penny miraculously showed up on my teaching table as I was concluding a Writing Down Your Soul workshop in Austin, Texas. I gasped, held it to my heart, and whispered thank you. As we were saying goodbye, a woman told me she'd found the penny on the floor and put it on my table. I thought, oh well, I guess this one wasn't from the angels. When I got home that night, there was a shiny penny smack in the middle of my bedspread. I laughed, “Sorry I ever doubted you!”

Over my crib, my mother hung a painting of a huge guardian angel walking behind a little girl. That painting reminded me every day that my guardian angel was with me. So angels have always felt real to me. But if you don't have a relationship with angels or wonder if they're even real, the book for you is Angels in My Hair by Lorna Byrne, who has seen and talked with angels since she was a baby.

An easy way to get a message from the angels is through angel cards. I like all of Doreen Virtue's angel oracle decks, but my favorite is the Archangel Oracle Cards. On the anniversary of my ex-husband's death—a date that is always wrenching for our son—I got down on my knees on my prayer rug and begged the cards for a comforting message for Jerry. I breathed on the cards and drew the card called “Hello from Heaven.” The card's message from Archangel Azrael said, “Your loved ones in heaven are doing fine. Let go of worries and feel their loving blessings.” Once I stopped crying, I called Jerry. He was so, so grateful for the message.

If you'd like to have a personal conversation with the angels, have an angel guidance reading. My favorite angel-guidance reader is Margo Mastromarchi. Any time I'm facing a big decision or need clarification, I schedule a reading with Margo. (Rest assured the angels had plenty of input on this book.) Margo and I occasionally host live conference-call events with the angels. The angels tell Margo the topic. Members of the event submit questions, and through Margo, the angels answer them during the call. Somehow everyone receives exactly the message she needs.

Animals can be messengers, too. In Writing Down Your Soul, I tell the story of the osprey who landed in the tree outside my bedroom window the morning I woke knowing I was afraid of my husband. The osprey stayed with me for a year and a half. Every afternoon he'd scream until I'd run into the backyard and show him I was fine. Ospreys have appeared as my protectors ever since.

If I sense an animal is a messenger, I stop and ask it to tell me why it came. I also look up the mystical meaning in the book Animal Speak by Ted Andrews or in Medicine Cards, an oracle deck by Jamie Sams, David Carson, and illustrator Angela Werneke. The proposal for this book got finished with the help of a woodpecker. The rhythm of her pecking on the wood outside my window motivated me to keep pecking at the computer. In Animal Speak, Ted Andrews says the message of a woodpecker is “[T]he foundation is there. It is now safe to follow your own rhythms.” I finished the proposal in two days. The moment it was complete, I rushed to the window to thank the woodpecker. She flew off, never to be seen again.

It doesn't matter how you go about becoming aware of your support team. What matters is knowing you're not alone, calling for help, and recognizing the presence of your guides. Get to know and love your divine team. They will be your best friends from now on. And don't forget to say thank you.

Reflect

 Who are my guides? Are angels around me? Animal messengers? Something else? Do I know? If not, what do I want to do to find out?

 How do my guides show up? When have I been aware that I am not alone?

 What messages or comfort have they given me?

 How can I work more closely with my angels and guides?

Write

Dear Voice,

I love this idea of not being alone, but the truth is, I do often feel alone. I can slip so easily into that black space where I feel no one is with me, no one is listening. Then I pick up a pen and start to write, or something else happens, and I sense I'm being guided. I'd like to have that feeling all the time. I'd love to walk this earth knowing I am guided and protected. Help me see that. Know that. Feel that. Who are my guides? How am I guided? Help me tune into them and their guidance so I can be stronger, clearer, more connected all the time. I'd love that.

Explore

 If you have a relationship with your guides and angels, continue to say hello every day. Keep the conversation alive.

 Ask for help. The angels, according to Lorna Byrne and Margo Mastromarchi, love being asked to help. So ask. Ask with vigor. Ask your angels to let you know they are there. Then keep your antennae out. They may communicate with you in some interesting ways.

 If you have oracle cards that you like, use them to ask for information about your guides. If you don't, look at sample decks at metaphysical bookstores, or ask your friends if they can recommend a deck.

 If nothing else, say out loud that you want your guides to show up and let you know they're there. Something will happen. They'll send you some kind of signal. But you have to pay attention and acknowledge the message.

Nourish

I am not alone. I have a loving spiritual support team.

Want More?

 Read Angels in My Hair or Stairways to Heaven by Lorna Byrne.

 Check out Margo Mastromarchi's website, Oracle of the Dove (oracleofthedove.com).