Читать книгу No One You Know - Jason Schwartzman - Страница 18

I take 25 and another writer takes the other 25, but it is impossible for anyone to know who has written the entries for each state. Our bylines run under the article – not by entry. The article is called: “The Year in Weird,” highlighting the strangest thing that had happened that year in every state.

A few people ask me which ones I wrote. When I talk with L., she guesses and every time she is right. Like she can tease out even the most subtle strands of self through the words.

“You wrote this one,” she Gchats me.

Mark Parisi intended to ‘donate’ one of his testicles for $35,000 so he could purchase a Nissan 370Z, ‘a serious car for serious drivers.’ Parisi, something of a medical-study-for-pay addict, has taken part in an Ebola virus study and a shuttered flatlining study. He said he would have his lost testicle replaced with an artificial one.

“What tipped you off?” I ask.

“The mention of ‘a serious car for serious drivers’ in quotes. It’s like a totally unnecessary tidbit that adds something.”

I almost hope she’ll get one wrong, that she never knew me as well as I thought. But I can’t even hide in South Dakota.

She pastes the blurb into our text box.

The most snow the state had ever experienced was ten inches 100 years ago, but a strange blizzard brought up to four feet of snow in October. Up to 30,000 cows were feared dead, particularly vulnerable because they had not grown their winter coats yet.

“you.”