Читать книгу The Tutti-frutti Collection - Jean Ure, Stephen Lee, Jean Ure - Страница 25

Mouse droppings and jellied eyeballs. Or maybe it was frogspawn. Either way it was disgusting.

Now that Mum has told me about the baby she seems to think it’s OK for her to keep on talking about it. She said to me at teatime, while Slime was upstairs with his elves, “What do you think we should call it? Think of some names!” I said, “There aren’t many names that go with Butter.” I said, “Barbara Butter, Brenda Butter, Belinda Butter,” very heavily sarcastic, but that was the wrong thing as Mum immediately thought it meant that I was interested. She said, “Would you like it to be a girl?” Very quickly, and just as sarcastic, I said, “Bertram Butter, Bruce Butter, Bernard Butter.” All Mum said was, “Bernard’s nice! I like Bernard.”

Bernard Butter? She has to be joking!

Slimey Roland brought me back a china figure from Newcastle. It is a Victorian lady with a crinoline and the crinoline is made of real lace.

Mum says it is valuable and that I must be careful not to break it. It is quite nice, I suppose. I have put it on the top shelf near my bed.

I would much rather have had a dog.