Читать книгу Holiday Baby - Jenna Mindel - Страница 12

Chapter One

Home.

Cat Zelinsky hated coming home.

It wasn’t the town. She loved Maple Springs, Michigan. It wasn’t her family either; they were great. It was the memories her hometown held. Bad memories of a child who had drowned while in her care when she was a teen. The images haunted her still, maybe now more than ever.

Northern Michigan was one of the most beautiful places even if it held reminders of the ugliest time in her life. It was also a great place to raise a child. She’d never expected to return home with a baby of her own in tow. Glancing in the rearview mirror, she smiled at her nine-week-old daughter bundled in her car seat. “Almost there, Opal.”

Midway through her maternity leave, Cat had given notice as a photojournalist for a travel magazine. She’d explored fascinating places all over the world in order to write enticing articles that encouraged the next vacation or bucket-list destination. Not anymore. Those endless, exciting travel days were over.

It had been a long road trip from New York. Cat used to drive it in a day, but with a two-month-old, she’d stopped overnight in Ohio and several times in between to feed or change or simply walk with Opal when she fussed.

“Thanksgiving is pretty special at the Zelinsky house. You’ll see.” Cat snickered when she realized how much she talked to her baby. She’d started the habit when she found out she was pregnant. After years of counseling, it amazed her how therapeutic simply sharing her thoughts with an infant could be.

Rounding Maple Bay, Cat caught the gorgeous November view that pierced her heart with the warm sense of coming home—followed by the icy reminder of why she’d stayed away except for short visits.

The trees and ground were bare. No snow had yet fallen even though it was plenty cold. The late-afternoon sun peeked out from gray clouds, casting a rosy glow over the landscape, making it look like a painting she might see in a museum. The play of sunlight was fleeting, and in minutes the starkly beautiful vision was gone.

So many things changed in mere moments. Far too many things. Regret didn’t help, and neither did self-loathing, but Cat steeped in both. If only she could do things over. If only...

God, help me face this.

Why should He? She didn’t deserve God’s help.

Cat might have been raised in a Christian home, but she’d been running from God for as long as she could remember. Once she’d realized she was pregnant, she’d asked for protection over her baby. Opal had been born a week late and healthy, but fear that God might still punish her for yet another sin remained a constant companion.

Entering town, Cat craned her neck to look through the naked trees lining Main Street. Her brother Matthew lived only a couple of blocks off Main with his wife, but Cat wasn’t sure exactly where. She spotted her oldest brother Zach’s blown-glass shop to the left and a couple of short blocks later, on the right, was the diner her brother Cam ran with his wife. Even Darren had recently married at the end of the summer, but Cat had been too close to her delivery date to attend. All four of her older brothers were now settled down in this resort town. While marriage certainly wasn’t in her own plans, Cat hoped she could settle down here too, and that meant finding a job.

By the time she pulled into her parents’ driveway, Opal had fallen asleep. Cat took a deep breath before getting out of the car. The last time she’d been home was for Memorial Day weekend. It was then that her family found out about her pregnancy. It had been a strained visit, filled with things she’d regretted. Things said.

Her sister Monica ran down the stone walkway, followed by their mom. Their father brought up the rear at a much more sedate pace, his brow furrowed.

Reluctantly, Cat got out. She fought the urge to jump back in the car and drive away, but there was no place to go. She’d really let her father down this time. Swallowing against the queasiness that stole away everything she’d practiced saying on the way here, Cat took a step forward.

“Wow, look at you! You’re a mom.” Monica sounded amazed.

“Yeah, look at me.” Cat had her doubts about that too. Could she even be a good mom?

She’d never wanted kids because she knew the risks. Cat had not only experienced loss, she’d caused it. Losing a child of her own would be unbearable. Avoiding motherhood altogether seemed safer, and yet she’d let this happen. She had one of her own. All the responsibility, all the danger...and all the humiliation of knowing she’d disappointed her family with her choices. It didn’t matter that she was a grown woman of thirty-one—coming home as an unwed mother stung hard.

Monica peeked into the back seat. “Oh, she’s beautiful!”

She faced her father. “Hi, Daddy.”

“Catherine.” He opened his arms.

“I’m so sorry.” She walked into them, needing her father’s embrace like never before.

She hadn’t been sure how he’d welcome her, considering the way they’d left things between them in May. Cat and her father had argued about her decision to raise the child alone, without trying to find Opal’s father. Even though her father’s embrace felt like a balm, she knew that conversation was bound to resurface, and Cat’s opinion hadn’t changed.

She’d known Simon Roberts all of four adrenaline-charged days. She didn’t believe he was the type who’d want to know they’d made a baby. He was a respected gemologist who traveled all over the world hunting gems. For all she knew, Opal might not be his first, and Cat wasn’t about to line up for child support.

Her father tightened his embrace. “God can turn our wrongs into very good things. The best things, if we let Him.”

She nearly lost it at the thickness in his voice. She wanted to believe that but knew from experience that some things were too terrible to ever be good.

* * *

Simon Roberts slipped into a warm jacket, turned off the volume to his phone before pocketing it and checked his watch. He had plenty of time to arrive at church on foot before services. He’d attended the small congregation for a couple of months now and he regretted that he would be leaving it after Christmas.

He’d traveled all over the world and had been exposed to practically every sort of religion out there, yet sleepy Maple Springs, Michigan, was where he’d come to know God in a very real sense. It wasn’t exactly religion he’d found, although he now attended church regularly. This was something more personal than a list of rules or traditions. It was like nothing he’d ever experienced before.

Trusting God—trusting anyone at all—was new to him.

Over the course of his forty-two years, he’d learned that trusting people led to inevitable betrayal and he was better off keeping to himself. Last year, he suspected that his employer of over twenty years had hired thugs to steal raw opals from him in an attempt to avoid paying him.

After that escape, Simon thought he wanted something else out of life. That was why he’d decided to give settling down a try. Living in a small town was something he’d never experienced before either, and after six months, he’d had enough of the mundane boredom.

He’d picked Maple Springs to set up his jewelry business simply because of Cat Zelinsky. She’d described her hometown as some kind of paradise. He’d given it his best shot, but this paradise smothered him with well-meaning folks pulling at him to be part of the community. Simon had never connected well with people and Maple Springs was all about making connections.

Some tricks an old dog struggled to relearn, and trust was one of them. Managing the retail side of a jewelry business was another. Time to cut his losses and move on, back to what he did best—finding gems for wealthy clients.

The community here had welcomed him and his business, but they’d solicited his help with community events and donations. Especially Cat’s sister-in-law Ginger. As part of the local chamber of commerce, she’d badgered him to join. He’d given that a go too, attending one of the networking nights, which felt like he’d been dumped into a lake filled with social piranhas. He missed the anonymity that came with living in a big city where no one expected anything out of him.

He’d met Ginger’s husband, one of Cat’s brothers, at such a gathering. Zach Zelinsky was retired military and a fellow artisan and shop owner who also held disdain for social events.

Simon hadn’t properly considered that by moving here he’d meet members of Cat’s family. He’d sold an engagement ring to one of her brothers and met one of her sisters when she’d barged into his shop, offering to design his website.

Seeing her family everywhere he went just emphasized the disturbing fact that he couldn’t seem to forget Cat no matter how hard he tried. Catherine Zelinsky had been on his last gem hunt for Welo opals in order to write about it for a travel magazine. In spite of the danger, she’d loved every minute and told him so when he’d put her on a plane out of there. He’d read her tame article on Ethiopian opals, alongside a bit about vacationing in Kenya.

Perhaps he should have called her, but a mad dash through the highlands of Ethiopia wasn’t exactly a firm foundation for a lasting relationship. Not that he understood relationships. He didn’t, but it still felt as if they had unfinished business between them. He should have called when he’d moved to Maple Springs, but coward that he was, he didn’t follow through.

Part of him wanted to see her again and part of him didn’t. She’d touched something deep inside that he’d long ago buried. He’d cast aside need for anyone in his life years ago, when his mother had kicked him out when he was a teenager. He didn’t want to need anyone. Need led to pain and bitter disappointment. Any thoughts of a happily-ever-after with Cat Zelinsky were moot. She’d prove no different than anyone else. Eventually.

Still, Cat might visit her parents with the holidays coming, and then what? If she spotted his Roberts Jewelry sign, would she come in or pass right by?

Simon blew out his breath. Nearly a year since they’d met and yet the woman still invaded his thoughts.

He stepped into cold November sunshine and shivered. He’d spent much of his life searching out gems in warmer climates when he wasn’t working on jewelry in New York or London. This kind of cold weather wasn’t something he was used to and he’d been told this frosty spell was nothing special. Even so, he forced himself to walk the short way from his tidy rental house.

Stepping inside the warm church, he was faced with equally warm smiles from fellow parishioners. Simon nodded and shook a few offered hands but otherwise moved on. He spotted Zach Zelinsky coming toward him and waved.

Zach stalled him by offering a handshake. “Nice morning.”

“Bit chilly.” Simon slowly drew back his hand when he saw her.

Zach chuckled at his reaction. “This is my sister Catherine. We call her Cat.”

She looked softer than he had remembered. Prettier even, with a light dash of cosmetics. He couldn’t take his eyes off her.

Cat’s blue eyes widened when she recognized him, as well. Her mouth opened and closed before she finally whispered, “How?”

“I moved here.”

That clearly shocked her. “Here, to Maple Springs?”

Zach looked confused. “You two know each other?”

“Oh, we’ve met.” The sharp bite in Cat’s voice sounded bitter, as if she regretted what had passed between them.

He didn’t regret a moment with her.

“We met last December, when she wrote an article about Welo opals. I showed her the mines.”

Silence.

Zach looked from Cat to him and then back again, his eyes narrowing. “Opals, huh?”

Simon watched Cat’s face pale. Tension crackled in the air and he couldn’t quite grasp the reason for it.

“Here you go, Cat. I think she needs changing.” Zach’s wife appeared from out of nowhere and handed Cat a pink bundle.

“Thanks.” Cat shifted the blanket, revealing a baby.

Why was Cat holding a baby?

Simon stared at the bundle, feeling like he’d fallen into a deep mining hole. He looked at Cat before glancing back at the bundle, his innards roiling. Then he glanced at his friend, noticed Zach’s balled fists and broke out in a sweat. “What’s this about?”

Zach stood rigid, looking every inch the army captain ready to flog him within an inch of his life. He looked back at his sister. “Maybe Cat will finally tell us.”

Her white face flushed red.

Simon had no words. Could it be...?

Ginger pulled on her husband’s arm. “Come on, Zach. Let them handle this.”

“Handle what?” Simon asked, feeling as if that black mining hole was closing in on him.

“Go, Zach. Please, just go.” Cat’s voice was firm, pleading.

People were beginning to take note of their exchange.

“Fine, but this isn’t over.” Zach gave him a pointed glare before walking away.

Simon focused on the pink bundle. It moved and he nearly lost his breakfast when he spotted brown eyes like his own peep out from under a frilly knit cap.

“Is...is it mine?” Deep down, he knew it was but hoped for some other explanation.

Cat did not look happy. Not at all. “It is a girl. Your daughter, Opal.”

Simon backed up a few steps. His ears rang as he stared at a perfectly formed little face. The heat of the building he’d welcomed only a moment ago suffocated him now.

Cat waited for him to say something, anything, but he simply stared.

“She needs changing.” Cat shook her head and left.

Helpless, Simon watched her go. He’d always been a careful man, but they’d been under stress and...

They’d made a child.

The reality of what they’d done sank in and it wasn’t pleasant. Why hadn’t she told him?

He had to get out of there. He could not step into that sanctuary and sit like nothing had happened.

He bolted out the front door and walked blindly until he finally reached a small park that overlooked the brilliant blue waters of Maple Bay. Gulping fresh, cold air, Simon ran his hand through his hair.

He was a father.

“Forgive me, Lord,” he whispered. “I didn’t know. She never said...”

Why hadn’t she called him? Sure, he wasn’t cut out for fatherhood—he’d had no example to follow—yet he deserved to know that he had a child.

A daughter who’d need her father.

Simon rubbed his forehead. God knew how messed up Simon had been without one. He also knew how Simon had messed up his brother and sister by trying to step in and be one for them.

His stomach turned. He was leaving at the end of the year. He’d already severed his leases for the house and shop—

Opal.

The image of that little face with big brown eyes flashed through his thoughts. Cat had named their daughter Opal. She was so small and dainty. Helpless. He didn’t know what to do with a baby, let alone dealing with Cat.

But the real question was, did he want to stay and find out?

* * *

Cat remained in the small room with several rocking chairs for nursing moms. On the other side of the room, two women chatted happily about their babies, but Cat didn’t join in. Her thoughts twisted in every direction.

The only reason she’d come to her brother’s church was because she knew fewer people at his congregation versus the church where her parents went. She couldn’t face scrutiny from all those people who’d known her since childhood as she stood in the same building with the family members whose lives she destroyed. They’d raise their eyebrows at her having a baby and rightly so.

Simon was here.

Cat tried to make sense of him moving to Maple Springs. It didn’t make sense. He was a modern-day Indiana Jones—he should be off somewhere having another death-defying adventure. At least he’d made it safely out of Africa and he looked well. In fact, he cleaned up really well and she hated herself for noticing.

Had he given up gem hunting to finally settle down? Her heart beat a little faster.

“You okay?” Ginger stepped into the nursery.

Zach’s wife had a magnetic, sunny nature. In the short time she’d been home, Cat witnessed how good Ginger was with her brother. He was not only happy, but seemed at peace.

Cat wouldn’t mind if some of that peace rubbed off on her. She shifted Opal. “As well as can be expected, I guess. How’s Zach?”

“Oh, he’s fuming.” Ginger bit her lip, but laughter shone from her eyes. “I’m sure he’ll give Simon an earful the next time he sees him. So, like, is he Opal’s father?”

“Yes.” Cat couldn’t see the humor in the situation. “Wait, Simon’s not in church?”

“Nope, he left.”

Cat had never expected to see him again, let alone here in Maple Springs, in a church of all places, but knowing he’d left after their brief confrontation didn’t sit well. Not at all.

Glancing at a sleeping Opal, Cat gritted her teeth. He’d left her yet again. So similar to the way he’d brushed her off the morning after they’d stayed in that hut, as if what they’d shared had meant nothing. Evidently, Opal was nothing to him, as well.

Ginger glanced at the other two women, still talking. “He’s been coming to church for a couple of months now. Zach invited him. He owns the new jewelry shop in town and makes some gorgeous stuff. Darren bought Bree’s engagement ring there.”

“I saw it.” It was beautiful, a diamond resting in swirls of white gold.

Cat had interviewed Simon last year, yet she remembered that he’d apprenticed under a master bench jeweler in London before becoming a certified gemologist who roamed the world seeking out precious gems. Opening his own jewelry shop might make sense, given his talents and training, but why here?

It wasn’t surprising that Simon and her brother were friends. They were both shop owners. Both artisans. Simon had put down roots in her hometown of all places. He knew members of her family, yet it appeared that he’d never admitted to knowing her.

Ginger picked at the edge of the baby blanket. “He’s a nice guy, Cat. Too bad he’s closing up shop and leaving.”

“What?” Her stomach tipped and rolled.

Ginger shrugged. “No one knows why. His store seemed to be doing well, but he’s announced that he’s closing after the holidays.”

Cat might not describe Simon as nice. He was mysterious and guarded. He wouldn’t talk about himself and she’d had to dig hard to get any information about his background. He’d been a wealth of information on opals, though he hadn’t wanted his name mentioned in the article—only the company for which he worked. He’d said anonymity worked in his favor when buying gems. She’d sent the final draft of her article to his employer and even then no word had come from Simon. Maybe he hadn’t even seen it. Or cared to read it.

Ginger gave her a pointed look. “I think he’s lonely.”

“Simon is one of those men who prefers his own company.” Certainly he’d preferred it to hers. But then he’d moved to her hometown, befriended her brother and yet never once tried to contact her. What did it all mean? Was she part of the reason he’d come here, or was it all a complete coincidence? Was she just assuming he’d been thinking about her because she’d been unable to stop thinking about him?

When she’d first met him, introduced by her guide, she’d found him incredibly attractive with his scruffy hair and beard. He had a slight English accent that could melt the hardest of hearts.

Cat’s heart had been far from hard, especially when Simon had promised information for an article that was sure to wow her editor. And it did. The article ran a few months ago, right alongside her main piece about Kenya. Those were good days and that was a trip of a lifetime. One she’d probably never be able to take again.

“Cat?”

“What?” She opened her eyes. When had she closed them? She looked down at Opal. The baby slept undisturbed.

Ginger smiled. “I thought I’d lost you there.”

“Almost. Tell Zach there’s no need to get crazy or anything.” Cat stopped, not sure how to explain. She wasn’t proud of the choices she’d made that had led to her pregnancy, but she couldn’t claim it was Simon’s fault. It had been a mutual decision, made when emotions were high and they hadn’t been thinking about consequences.

She hadn’t written a word in that article about being followed to the point that they’d had to run for fear of real harm. That wouldn’t be good for a travel piece. But it had made for a thrilling adventure—one that had left her head spinning, and her good sense tumbling by the wayside.

“What happened? I mean, you know, if you care to share.”

The other two women in the room glanced their way as they left and headed back to church. Cat didn’t want to go to church. She’d rather hide out here awhile longer. She glanced at her sister-in-law, who was waiting for her to answer, eyes wide.

“I went to Kenya for a travel piece and saw this gorgeous opal in a Nairobi market. It came from the north in Ethiopia. I thought I should check out the opal trade there and my editor agreed. So I flew into the capital city of Addis Ababa and that’s where I met Simon, a real live gem hunter. He was able to take me to one of the opal mines.”

“Go on.”

Cat sat forward. “It’s unbelievable how precarious it is. The mines are holes in the sides of sheer mountains. The miners are local folks, and many used to be farmers.”

Ginger’s eyes were still wide. “Weren’t you afraid? All by yourself like that?”

“No.” Cat had loved her job, filled with adventurous travel that had kept her far from home and her past. Now it was over. She couldn’t leave Opal with just anyone and that had brought her back to Maple Springs and her family.

Cat shrugged. “I always had a reputable guide, so I felt safe. Simon served as my guide to the mines and he has a solid reputation in the industry. One evening, after he’d made a large purchase of raw opals, we were followed. Those men didn’t look like they’d play nice either, and the next thing I knew, we were running. We finally lost them, but it was raining so hard we took shelter in an abandoned hut for the night.”

Ginger absorbed the tale. “Did those men who were chasing you ever get the opals?”

Cat shrugged. “I don’t know. The next day, Simon had a local pilot take me back to the capital.”

“And you never saw him again?”

“Not till today.”

“Wow.” Ginger looked thoughtful.

“Yeah.” Cat glanced at the door when she heard a soft knock.

Simon entered, his close-cut hair tousled in the front as if he’d tried to pull it all out. “Cat, we need to have a talk.”

Her stomach tipped at the venom in his voice. “I suppose we do.”

Ginger stood, giving Simon a pointed look as if warning him to play nice. “I’ll check back before church lets out.”

Simon held the door for Ginger and then closed it behind her.

He stood slightly taller than average and was slender with a few streaks of silver gleaming in his dark hair. He sat in the seat that Ginger had vacated.

He took a deep breath and let it back out, a cautious expression spread across his face. “You’re sure it was me?”

Cat snorted. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Okay, okay.” He raised his hands before rubbing them against the tops of his thighs, clearly nervous. “Have you come home for a bit, then?”

She wasn’t giving anything away, even though his nervousness surprised her. He’d shown no fear when they’d been on the run from those men. “I heard that you’re leaving.”

He leaned back in the chair. “After Christmas, yes.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “Living here wasn’t working for me and I’d like to get back to the hunt.”

Cat nodded. It was what she’d known all along. A man like Simon would never settle down.

He took a deep breath. “Look, I don’t know how to be a good father.”

“And I know how to be a mom?”

His eyes narrowed. “You appear to know what you’re doing and you’ve a good family here.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You have a solid support system. I will support you too, you know, financially.”

Cat sighed. So, they were only a financial obligation to him. “I’m not looking for you to do anything.”

Simon shot to his feet and ran his hand through his hair. “I won’t abandon my own kid.”

He’d abandoned her—setting her on that plane as if he couldn’t wait to be rid of her despite the night they’d spent together. She’d thought they’d shared something special, but the morning after proved it obviously hadn’t meant anything to him—just as their daughter didn’t seem to mean anything to him now...other than money he needed to pay.

She didn’t want him complicating things for her or Opal as some absentee parent whose only connection to them was child support. Or worse, popping in and out of their lives. A person couldn’t parent halfway and Cat wasn’t into taking his money unless Simon showed that he wanted to be a real dad.

“Can I hold her?” His voice was whisper-soft.

Cat wanted to refuse. He was leaving in a month’s time. Why bother pretending to care if he wasn’t going to make any commitment to stick around? And yet because he was leaving, what harm could there be in granting this small request?

With a sigh, she got up and walked toward him and settled Opal in his arms. She continued to support the baby from underneath and, being this close, she caught the light scent of Simon’s spicy cologne. “Cradle her so you don’t drop her. Okay, that’s it.”

“I’ve held a baby before.” He awkwardly adjusted his arms.

“Yeah? When?”

A dark shadow crossed his face. “A long, long time ago.”

“Support her neck.” Cat finally relinquished her hold and stepped back, curious. “What baby did you hold?”

“My little sister and brother.” Simon cradled their daughter and his face softened.

“Ah, so you do have family.” He’d refused to answer that question before.

“If you can call them that, yes.” Simon didn’t elaborate and concentrated on Opal’s face.

Cat watched the man melt before her very eyes. The sight nearly undid her.

He looked back up at her. “Cat, I have no idea what to do.”

“You’re holding her just fine.”

“That’s not what I mean.” He looked as if he’d been torn in two.

“What do you mean?” she whispered.

Simon’s gaze bore into hers, searching.

A different woman stepped into the room with a crying infant and her eyes widened when she spotted Simon.

“You’d better go.” Cat reached for Opal.

Simon didn’t hand her over. “Come with me.”

Her stomach flipped again, but Cat killed the butterflies swirling there. “Where?”

“My house isn’t far.” He waited for her to decide.

Cat could refuse, but they’d have to finish this conversation eventually. Before he left, anyway. She supposed she owed him that much.

Glancing at the woman waiting for Simon to leave so she could feed her baby, Cat quickly grabbed her diaper bag and followed him out.