Читать книгу His Wyoming Baby Blessing - Jill Kemerer - Страница 13

She should have been here by now.

Wade Croft paced the front porch of the sprawling log cabin he called home. Late May wildflowers and blue skies spread as far as he could see, pausing only at the white-capped Bighorn Mountains. Unfortunately, the peaceful scene did nothing to slow his rapid heartbeat. Kit McAllistor would be here any minute, and the last time he’d seen her had been at her husband’s funeral four months ago. The experience had unsettled him.

Kit’s stricken, drawn face as she’d cried over the casket had picked off the scab on emotions he’d gotten used to pretending didn’t exist, and, as much as he sympathized with her loss, he’d avoided contacting her since then. The little girl he’d met in foster care all those years ago—his childhood best friend, the one who always believed the best in him—had grown into a very special, very beautiful woman.

Her husband passing away complicated things.

A dust cloud formed in the distance. It must be Kit’s car. He propped his hand against one of the posts. His land stretched for miles. Land he’d been blessed with. He’d taken it for granted in his quest to expand. Look where it had gotten him. On the brink of losing it all. Why had he overextended himself last year to buy Dudley Farms, a massive farm east of here? If he didn’t find a buyer for Dudley Farms soon, he’d lose everything, including his home, JPX Ranch.

Somehow, he’d find a way to get out of this financial hole, and until he did, no one needed to know about the trouble he was in.

Right now he had to focus on Kit.

The compact silver car stopped in front of the garage. He had the oddest sensation that if he moved even a muscle, his life would change forever.

Nonsense. Get over there like the barn is on fire!

He took off toward the driveway as the car door shut with a thud. Kit walked his way. A perfectly rounded belly jutted out from her long sundress.

His feet refused to move another inch.

She was pregnant.

Why the concept floored him, he couldn’t say, maybe because the thought of her having a baby hadn’t occurred to him, with Cam’s death and all.

If he thought her husband dying complicated things...

“Wade.” The word sounded scratchy, defeated. Her skin was drawn, dark crescents shadowed her pale green eyes and weariness burdened her shoulders. The woman standing before him barely resembled his vibrant friend.

“Kitty Cat.” The old nickname fell off his tongue before he could worry about the consequences.

Something sparked in her eyes, and she closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around his waist. He held her lightly, trying to ignore the sensations crowding his brain. Soft skin. Long silky hair with a hint of coconut shampoo. A pregnant tummy separating them. She seemed thinner, not taking into account the baby. There was a frailness to her that didn’t mesh with any version of the Kit he knew. At least the freckles on her nose were still there.

“I didn’t know where else to go.” She stepped back and let out the most pitiful sigh he’d ever heard.

“What have I always told you?” He tried to capture the teasing tone he saved especially for her, but he didn’t quite nail it.

“If I ever need anything, you’re here for me.” She didn’t crack a smile. In fact, her face was as devoid of expression as it was of makeup.

“Exactly.” He straightened, locking his jaw. The fragile, pregnant woman standing here wasn’t the feisty, optimistic girl he’d bonded with as a kid. Life had beaten her down. It had beaten him down enough, too, but he hated that it hadn’t spared her.

“Come inside.” He held the door open, then he led the way to the great room, a large open space with plenty of windows, hardwood floors, leather furniture and area rugs to keep the chill out. Visible signs of the wealth he’d accumulated and, in his greed, put in jeopardy.

“You really did it, didn’t you?” She looked around, lowering her body onto one of the couches. “You always said you were going to own the biggest ranch in Wyoming someday. Your house alone is massive.”

A surge of shame filled him. If he hadn’t bought Dudley Farms, he’d have been financially set for a lifetime. All attempts at trying to salvage his mistake hadn’t worked. Last year the farm’s old irrigation equipment had failed, and the drought had polished off any hopes of growing enough crops to be profitable. On both properties—here on JPX Ranch and on Dudley Farms—he’d downsized all his employees to the bare minimum. Sold as many calves, heifers and horses as he could, except for his favorite stud horse, Del Poncho. He’d sell Del Poncho only if absolutely necessary. But the way the bills were coming in, he’d have to sooner rather than later.

“I didn’t realize you were...having a baby.” He waved in her general direction as he sat in a chair opposite her. “I mean, it was hard enough Cam died.” Heat licked up his neck, and he averted his gaze. What was wrong with him? He wasn’t shy. Didn’t get squeamish. And here he was acting like a pimply kid instead of a grown man.

She tucked her hair behind her ear and averted her own eyes. It brought him back to their younger days. She’d been eight and he’d been ten when they’d met at a foster home. They’d been best buds the three years they’d lived there. He could still see the freckles on her nose as she swung her legs high in the air, brown hair flying in the wind. Her eyes had danced with delight as she begged him to push her higher, higher. When her swing would finally come to a stop, he’d sit on the one next to hers, and, with their legs dangling, they’d talk about the future.

He’d been set on owning the biggest ranch in Wyoming. He’d have so much money no one could ever again tell him what to do. She was going to be a teacher and get married to the best husband in the world and have two boys, one girl, a dog, a cat and a nice house. They both had been on their way to achieving those dreams. And though they still shared a childhood bond, Kit’s marriage to Cam had strained their friendship. Wade understood. Marriage changed things.

“I guess the perfect family you always wanted isn’t turning out the way you’d hoped,” he said, as gently as possible.

“Yeah, well, it was a stupid dream, anyhow.” She gazed out the wall of windows. Sadness and something else was etched into her face. Bitterness?

Not Kit. Sunny, kind, spitfire Kit never let anything get her down.

He didn’t like to think of her spirit broken, but maybe he was overanalyzing things.

“When are you due?”

“October second.” Her shrug gave him the impression she was nervous. “Depending.”

Depending on what? He scuffed his foot against the floor.

“Thanks for letting me stay here. It will only be for a week. The extended-stay hotel should have a room for me by then.”

She hadn’t given him much information when she called last night. Just said she needed a place to stay for a week and did he have a spare room for her? He’d offered her one of several renovated cabins on his property. They’d been remodeled a few years ago for his friends to use for getaways, hunting, fishing...whatever. She was welcome to hunker down in any of them.

But last night she hadn’t mentioned an extended-stay hotel.

She also hadn’t mentioned she was having a baby.

“Why are you going to some roadhouse?” He needed more information from her. Nothing was adding up, and he didn’t exactly consider himself slow.

One of her shoulders lifted. “I’m moving to Casper.”

“Did you get a new job or something?” He couldn’t picture her accepting a different position. She loved teaching second grade in Fort Laramie. But maybe the memories with Cam made it too hard for her to continue working there.

“No.” Her hands covered her tummy.

Her short answers, air of gloom and lack of animation kicked up his stomach acid.

“Kit, this is me. You don’t have to hide anything.” He leaned forward, immediately recognizing the hypocrisy of his words. He was hiding his problems from her and everyone else he was close to. “What is going on?”

“I need a new start.”

Normally, he’d buy what she was saying. She’d lost the love of her life. She was alone. Pregnant. But...she was keeping secrets. He narrowed his eyes. “You’re not telling me everything.”

“Look, I need a place to crash for a few days, and then I’ll be on my way. Don’t ask me to tell you my life story in the meantime.”

“I already know your life story.” He knew most of it. The important stuff, anyhow.

“That was the old me.”

“I liked the old you.”

“Well, she’s gone, so don’t bother looking for her. Why don’t you show me the cabin where I can put my stuff? Then you can go back to work.” She braced both hands against the couch cushions in an attempt to get up. He sprang to his feet, offering her his hand.

“Why the hotel? Why Casper?” He kept her hand in his and searched her face for clues about whatever she wrestled with. Had Cam’s death destroyed the best part of her?

Her eyes welled with tears.

Great, he’d made her cry. Why had he badgered her? Of course she wanted to move. She was alone and pregnant and grieving the sudden death of her husband. No wonder she was shattered and prickly. He’d always tried to fix anything bothering her, but this was beyond him.

Maybe he should do as she asked. Take her to the cabin and leave her alone to work things out.

“It’s the baby,” she whispered.

“What do you mean?” He gently clasped her forearms and bent to look into her eyes.

“He has a large hole in his heart.”

“What?”

“A few weeks ago, I had a routine ultrasound. I figured I’d be finding out if it was a boy or girl, and everything would be fine. Unfortunately, they suspected there was a hole in his heart, but they told me not to worry and to come back in a few weeks for a fetal echocardiogram. Well, I did, and the hole was confirmed, which led to another ultrasound with a specialist last Wednesday. Since the heart defect may be caused by chromosome abnormalities, I had an amniocentesis done on Friday. They’re using the cells to do a chromosomal microarray test to check for Down syndrome, DiGeorge syndrome and a few other things. The results won’t be in for about three weeks.”

He let go of her arms. Friday. And today was Tuesday. Chromosomes, tests, a hole in the baby’s heart...his heart, she’d said.

The baby was a boy.

An image came to mind of a little tyke with Kit’s freckles holding Wade’s hand as the child stared up at him with excitement at the thought of riding around the ranch.

“This amnio-cent-whats-is and chromosome thing—what does all of it mean?”

“Amniocentesis is a test to determine the likelihood of genetic problems. It was offered in my first trimester, but I opted not to have it at that time because I’m young and healthy. And chromosome abnormalities are just a fancy way of saying my baby might have special needs.” Her inhalation was long and shaky.

“Okay, we’ll deal with it.” The earlier image of a little boy morphed from one who looked like Kit to one with Down syndrome. The image appealed to him as much as the first one had.

“The hole could heal on its own.” A tear dropped onto her cheek, and she swiped it away. “But if not, the baby will require heart surgery. And if he has DiGeorge syndrome, there’s a strong chance he won’t make it to his first birthday. The doctor told me not to worry about DiGeorge too much and that heart defects are common, but I don’t know what to think at this point. I’ll know more after the test results come back. In the meantime, I’m praying he doesn’t die in the womb.”

Die? He tried to process it. No wonder she’d become a shadow of her former self. She’d lost her husband, and now she might lose her baby, too.

“I’m scared, Wade.” The faint words spun him out of his thoughts.

He understood scared. Too many sleepless nights trying to come up with a solution to his lack of cash flow had taken their toll.

“You’re staying here until the baby is born. Not in a hotel.” He straightened, widening his stance. “I want you to rest. You won’t move a muscle. I’ll take care of you.”

Why had he promised the last part? Him? Taking care of her? He could barely keep up with the mortgage on his land. He didn’t trust himself to take care of a stray dog at this point.

“No.” She clutched her hands, wringing them together.

“If he does have special needs, would you still want him?” he asked.

“Of course! I just want him to live. I don’t care what problems he might have. I love this baby so much. I can’t bear to think of him dying.”

He wasn’t surprised. She’d love any child fiercely, but her declaration reminded him of those complications from earlier.

Kit wasn’t his. Never had been, never would be.

And that’s the way it would stay. She deserved someone who would treat her right and take care of her financially and emotionally. He’d never been good at the emotional stuff, and, frankly, he had little to give in the finance department, either.

He’d just have to do his best to support her, regardless.

“Stay here in the main house. I have three guest rooms. That way if you need me—”

“No. I need space.” She shook her head rapidly, her long brown hair swishing behind her. “I appreciate the offer, but I can’t. One of your cabins will be fine.”

“You can take your pick. Stay in one of them until the baby is born.”

“That’s kind of you, but I’ll just stay the week.” She ducked her chin. “I’m only crashing here until the hotel has a vacancy.”

He should be relieved. It wasn’t as if he could offer her anything more than a temporary place to stay. As much as he’d like to see her taken care of long-term, it wasn’t his place.

“If you’ll point me in the right direction...”

He gave her a curt nod. “I’ll take you over there right now.”

* * *

JPX Ranch truly was her last resort. On the long drive here, Kit had dreaded having to rely on Wade. She’d messed up her life, and he’d always been able to see right through her. But as she followed his truck down a dirt driveway behind his house, relief replaced the dread. He was the one person—the only one—she’d ever been able to count on for anything.

And here he was, coming through for her again.

If he had any idea what a disaster her life had been for the past three years, would he view her the same?

She had no intention of finding out.

Wade stopped in front of a large log cabin. She could see four other smaller structures spaced out farther down the lane. As she got out of her car, she was glad the blooming wildflowers had spread to surround the guest homes. Silver lupine and little yellow castles waved in the breeze, and she couldn’t help but enjoy their beauty. For a moment, anyway. Nothing good in her life ever stuck around for long.

“I think you’ll like this one the best.” Strength oozed from him as he strode up the covered porch, then swung open the door and waited for her to join him.

She tried not to stare. In form-fitting jeans, cowboy boots and a short-sleeved Western shirt, he looked every bit the cowboy most women only dreamed about. His blue eyes crinkled at the corners—a side effect of his sense of humor. He kept his dark blond hair short. The bone structure of his face was perfectly symmetrical, and she’d often thought he could model for one of those rodeo calendars she’d hung on her wall as a teen. Not that she’d ever tell him that. Most days his head was too big for his cowboy hat without her swelling it even more.

What woman wasn’t attracted to Wade Croft? Even one on her deathbed would likely revive if it meant catching a glimpse of the prime Wyoming cowboy.

The cabin was anything but the dusty old hunting lodge she’d expected. Freshly renovated with big windows, gleaming wood floors and comfortable furniture, it was nicer than any place she’d lived. And, better yet, it held none of the bad memories or mistakes she’d made in her other homes.

“It’s so light and open.” The high wooden ceilings cast a pretty glow on the room.

“The kitchen’s back here. Should meet your needs.”

She followed him and stopped, her mouth dropping open.

“You’re kidding, right?” She trailed her fingertips along the marble—or was it quartz? It certainly wasn’t the chipped counters she was used to. This was hands down the best kitchen she’d ever seen. With stainless steel appliances, tall cabinets and a pretty backsplash, it was her ideal kitchen.

From the window above the sink, a carpet of wildflowers came into view. A reprieve for her weary soul.

“Kidding? What do you mean?” His defensive tone would have made her laugh if she still had a shred of joy left, which she didn’t. Not by a long shot. “What’s wrong with the cabin?”

“Not a single thing.” She could at least attempt to set him at ease. He’d been kind today. But then, he’d always been kind to her. “Except your boots are leaving dirt all over the floor.”

He kicked up the bottom of his boot, then shot her a teasing glare. “My boots are as clean as the day I took them out of the box.”

“You sure about that?”

“As sure as I am a hotel won’t do you a lick of good.”

The hotel. Right.

She massaged her belly. Until recently, she’d been dealing with Cam’s death as best as she could, but finding out about the hole in the baby’s heart and learning it might be caused by special needs... As much as she hoped the hole would heal on its own, the fact the doctor was running all those tests didn’t reassure her. Nor did the online research she’d done on her own.

“Does this place have a bedroom?” She forced a tight smile. The sooner Wade concluded the tour, the sooner she could sit and think. Well, worry and fret about the baby was more like it.

His forehead furrowed as if he wanted to press the issue. “Down the hall. I’ll show you.”

The bedroom had log walls, traditional furniture, a neutral area rug and a puffy white comforter on top of a king-size bed.

“The television works. Bathroom is attached.” He paused in the doorway with one hand planted on the frame. His long body filled the space. “Tell me what you need.”

What did she need?

A healthy baby. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Even if the child wasn’t healthy, she still wanted him. She could handle the hole in the heart, the special needs. What she really needed was a living baby. She just wanted a chance to raise him. No matter what complications were involved.

Her life had been one big complication for years. For her entire life, really. With each change, she’d dug her feet in, disciplined herself to be good, to meet other people’s needs in the hopes they’d keep her around.

And every single time, she hadn’t been good enough.

The sincerity radiating from Wade’s expression tempted her to confess the truth about why Cam had died, but she hadn’t survived an abusive aunt, four foster homes and a cheating husband for nothing.

“I’m pretty tired.” She sat on the edge of the bed. If Wade wasn’t here, she’d crawl under the covers and sleep for a month. Try to, at least.

“Stretch out and rest. I’ll get your bags.” He knocked on the door frame and left.

She was too tired to protest. Besides, Wade was a strapping cowboy. He’d never let her haul her suitcases and bags inside. She had nothing to prove by overexerting herself and everything to lose if she let her pride override her common sense.

This baby needed a healthy mama.

Her idea of a perfect family had been shattered long ago. She’d give about anything to have any family—perfect or not. A family of two suited her fine. Her and her boy.

Please, God, let my baby live.

The front door creaked, and Wade’s footsteps clomped closer. He set two suitcases in the bedroom. The muscles in his arms and chest strained as he straightened. Even pregnant, she couldn’t help but notice. Unfortunately, her pulse did, too.

“Be right back with the rest.” He waved his fingers toward the bed. “Why aren’t you lying down?”

“I don’t need to lie down. Now scoot.” She was surprised how easily she fell into their familiar sassing, but it left a bittersweet tang on her tongue.

His lips curved into a cocky smile as he exited the room.

She wished she could be the same Kit McAllistor she was before Cam had announced he wanted a divorce. The one who could banter with her old friend Wade, the one who believed love conquered all and if she just tried hard enough, her husband would want her and not other women.

The old Kit wouldn’t have screamed at Cam the night he had a heart attack and died.

She might not have killed him, but it was her fault he was dead. If she hadn’t yelled those terrible things, he wouldn’t have had the heart attack. He still would have divorced her, though.

The old Kit was gone, along with her dreams and her husband.

No matter what happened, she was on her own. Deluding herself into thinking Cam would provide the security she’d craved had been her biggest mistake. She couldn’t afford to make the same one twice.

“That’s everything.” Wade deposited the bags and wiped his hands down his jeans. “You hungry?”

She almost said no, but her stomach growled.

“Guess that answers my question.” He hitched his chin for her to follow him. “Come on. I’ll take you back to my place and feed you.”

Why tears sprang to her eyes, she didn’t know. Maybe because with all the uncertainties she faced—no job, no husband, a baby with serious health problems—she could still count on Wade.

“What are we having?” She stood, pressing her palm into her lower back. The drive had tightened every muscle in her poor body.

“Steak.” He rolled his eyes. “Du-uh.”

“Grilled?” Her mouth started watering. The man had always been able to grill a mean steak. “With melted butter on top?”

“As if I’d cook it any other way.”

A steak. Warm bed. Gourmet kitchen. And wildflowers as far as the eye could see.

She didn’t deserve this.

One week.

Then back to the real world.

She’d build a new life. In Casper. With her sweet baby. If he lived...

For now, she’d do her best to get through the next seven days. “Lead the way.”