Читать книгу His Wyoming Baby Blessing - Jill Kemerer - Страница 15

A girl could live in a place like this forever. Kit sipped a glass of water on the porch of her cabin late Friday morning. The rocking chair had quickly become her favorite spot. She’d spent hours watching butterflies flit around and hawks circle overhead. The mountains added serenity to the scene. For the first time in years, she’d found space to breathe again. The anxieties of life didn’t choke her here, and she’d been sleeping well, too.

She wouldn’t get the results of the chromosome microarray tests for almost two more weeks, but she’d begun to make peace with whatever they might reveal. Every morning she prayed for her baby boy. Every evening, too.

Her cell phone rang. Probably Wade. Ever since she’d arrived three days ago, he insisted they eat most meals together. Afterward, she’d excuse herself to rest, and he’d wait precisely two hours to call and check on her. With anyone else it would be overbearing, but not with him.

He cared about her. Plain and simple.

The phone rang again, but she didn’t recognize the number. “Hello?”

“Is this Kit McAllistor?”

“Speaking.”

“This is Jambalaya Suites. A room opened up. You can check in after three this afternoon.”

The extended-stay hotel. It would have been welcome news when she’d been driving to Wade’s ranch, but after spending a few days here, she didn’t immediately jump for joy at the chance to move on.

“Do you still want it?” The man sounded exasperated.

“Yes, thank you. I’ll take it. I’ll be there this afternoon.”

After she hung up, she sighed, continuing to rock on the porch. She really didn’t want to leave yet. But the longer she stayed, the harder it would be to go. She’d forgotten how calming the wide-open prairie could be.

Heaving herself to her feet, she cast a longing look at the countryside, then turned and went back into the cabin. She had to pack up her stuff. She’d stop in at the main house on her way out to thank Wade.

He’d be mad, of course, and maybe a little hurt she was leaving like this, but she couldn’t face an argument right now. It was bad enough she’d be living in a hotel for weeks. The thought of being in a strange town and not knowing anyone didn’t exactly sweeten the deal. Under no circumstances would the hotel room have a porch and butterflies and wildflowers and silence.

But she’d be close to the hospital. She could start looking into job options for after the baby was born. Maybe she’d teach online classes. She’d figure out something.

After hoisting one of her suitcases onto the bed, she gathered her things. It didn’t take long. A knock on the door came as she zipped her smallest bag. Her stomach clenched, and it wasn’t because of the baby.

Wade wasn’t going to be happy about her leaving like this.

“Come in,” she hollered, rolling the luggage down the hall.

“What. Is. Going. On?” He stood in the living room, hands on his hips, legs wide and eyebrows furrowed.

“The hotel had an opening. I’m headed there in a little bit.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Nope.” Embers licked to flames in his eyes. He pointed to her suitcase. “Roll that right back into the bedroom. You’re staying here.”

“I’m going to Casper. Today.”

He pursed his lips, shaking his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Well, I do.” As much as she’d like to stay here indefinitely, she couldn’t. She’d set her plans in motion, and if she changed them now, she might do something stupid. Like stay here and get too comfortable with the one man she could count on. The incredibly gorgeous, caring one who wasn’t into love or marriage. She’d made many poor emotional decisions over the years, and she couldn’t afford to make another one now. The baby had to come first.

His jaw could crack a walnut, and he opened his mouth, but she raised her hand. “You’re not going to convince me, so don’t bother trying.” She resumed rolling the suitcase to the front door, but he blocked her path. Being within two feet of the strapping man rattled her. She glared at him. “Move.”

“Make me.”

Move that tall beam of solid steel? If she pushed him, she’d have to touch him, and touching him would merely remind her how appealing his strength was.

“Wade!” She almost stamped her foot.

“I don’t like this. Casper is too far away, and you don’t know anyone, and the hotel might have nasty bacteria and drifters.”

Bacteria and drifters? Like she needed more to worry about at this point. “You’re not my boss.”

His expression softened. “No one’s ever been the boss of you. I wouldn’t want to be, and I’d never try.”

Closing her eyes, she couldn’t decide if it was an insult or a compliment. Either way, it solidified the truth—he viewed her as a friend. Same as she did him. And if she stayed, she’d be in danger of putting on those rose-colored glasses from her youth. She needed to concentrate on herself and the baby.

“Good,” she said a little too briskly. “Then kindly put this suitcase in my trunk while I get the rest of my stuff.”

A strained moment passed with neither of them speaking.

“Won’t you consider it, at least?” He shrugged helplessly. “I think you should stay.”

“This is best. For me. For the baby. And for you—you can get back to work. I know you’ve taken off a lot of time on account of me being here.”

He exuded frustration. “Well, if you’re dead set on going today, I’ll drive you.”

“No, I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You didn’t. I offered.”

Hours in the car with him? Her senses might not be able to take it.

“How would you get back?”

“I’d rent a car when we got there.”

“Seems awfully complicated.” She chewed her bottom lip. It would be nice not to have to drive, though.

“Really? Seems simple to me. Besides, I want to make sure this hotel is in a decent area. I don’t want to worry about you getting mugged.”

“I’m sure the location will be fine. I doubt I’d be in any kind of danger.”

“You don’t know that.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Either I drive you or you stay here. Those are the options.”

“Or you move out of my way and I drive myself. I’m a big girl.”

He had the grace to look sorry. “I know. It’s not that I think you’re incapable. It’s just...well... I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to you on the way there. Your car could break down. You could get a flat. Or what if you get pains or something?” He waved helplessly at her abdomen.

Why did he have to say the perfect thing? Her eyes prickled with emotion. Cam had barely spoken to her for months before he died. And the only reason she was pregnant was because of a last-ditch effort to save their marriage. Even if Cam had lived, her marriage would have ended. He’d been adamant about it.

To have a man care about her well-being like this was strange territory.

And she liked it.

But it was a mirage.

Wade cared about ranching and having lots of land. And he cared about her, too, because they were friends. That was all. She wasn’t fooling herself into thinking he’d ever want more.

She didn’t, either. But he had the power to tempt her.

Which meant she needed to get to Casper soon. Like today.

“Okay,” she said. “You can drive me, but I’m staying in the hotel whether you find bacteria or drifters or not.”

“We’ll see about that.”

* * *

Wade kept Kit’s car below the speed limit. He wasn’t in a hurry to deliver her. How could he keep an eye on her when she’d be living so far away? A honky-tonk song played on the radio. She was staring out her window. While they’d spent the first leg of the trip remembering old times, the past hour had been mostly quiet. As buildings dotted the side of the road more frequently, a sense of unease tightened his muscles. They were almost there.

And he wasn’t ready for this time with her to end.

His phone’s navigation system directed him through town. The closer they got to the address, the more danger signals flashed in his mind. It wasn’t the older homes he minded, it was the fact they were run-down. He stopped at a traffic light and assessed the area. Graffiti marked a warehouse on the corner. A skinny dog without a collar ran by, and a group of three teen boys who spelled trouble sauntered down the sidewalk.

The light changed and he drove ahead, taking a left and pulling into the parking lot of Jambalaya Suites. The neighborhood around it clearly had taken a downturn in recent times. The exterior of the hotel was dated, and weeds poked through the lawn.

Kit didn’t say a word. She got out of the car and slung her purse over her shoulder.

He fell in beside her as they strolled toward the entrance. A train whistle blared, practically deafening him, and Kit jumped, slapping her hand against her chest. He met her shocked gaze. “Wasn’t expecting that.”

“Me, neither.” She raised her eyebrows. “Home sweet home.”

Over his dead body...

They entered the lobby, and Wade forced himself to keep his cool. The forest green carpeting had stains and worn patches. Striped wallpaper peeled in several places. As they approached the front desk, he clenched and unclenched his hands and did everything in his power to stay quiet. The counter had deep scratch marks. Had someone knifed it? And what, for the love of Wyoming, was that smell?

Breathe through your mouth.

The clerk behind the desk didn’t look up.

They waited.

And waited.

As much as he wanted to scoop Kit into his arms and run out of here, he remained silent. If he said one wrong thing, she’d dig her heels in. He would convince her not to stay here, but in order to do that, he needed a level of patience he might not possess.

“Excuse me.” Kit’s pleasant voice didn’t fit here. She didn’t belong here.

“Just a sec.” The clerk continued to stare at the computer screen.

Just a sec? Wade was this close to grabbing the guy by the collar and informing him what good service entailed.

“Yeah?” Bored eyes looked up at them.

“Kit McAllistor.” She lifted her chin. “You have a room for me.”

“Oh, right.”

“She’d like to see the room before she puts down a deposit.” Wade leaned forward.

“Whatever you say.” The clerk ignored them as he typed. Then he held out a key card to her. “Your room is on the second floor. End of the hall, Kate.”

“It’s Kit,” Wade practically growled.

“Okay, Kit.”

Don’t beat the twerp up. Keep your eyes on the prize.

He’d have Kit in and out of here in ten minutes. Tops.

“Where are the elevators?” she asked the clerk.

“Don’t have them. Stairs are to the left.”

Wade held his arm out to her and gave the jerk the most lethal glare he could muster, but the kid had already resumed staring at the computer screen.

The smell of wet dog, mold, and what he could only describe as liver and onions filled the hall. Surely, the scent alone would send Kit running back to her car. She couldn’t seriously be considering living here, could she?

They climbed the stairs and turned left. This hall smelled marginally better than the one downstairs. Kit stopped in front of the door. It looked like she was praying, but he couldn’t be sure. Then she slid the card into the slot. Red light. She swiped it again. Red light.

He took it from her and quickly swiped it twice, getting a green light. She opened the door and walked in, with him on her heels.

The train whistle blew again, and the rumble of the cars moving on the tracks was so loud they could have been right outside the building. Wade crossed over to the window. The train was right outside the building. The railroad tracks butted up to the property. He swiped the curtains shut.

He could stay silent no longer.

He was getting her out of here.

Turning, he opened his mouth to let her know in no uncertain terms that this place was a dump and there was no way he was leaving her, but he didn’t have a chance to speak.

With her hands over her face and her shoulders shaking, Kit sobbed.

Stupid Jambalaya Suites. Muttering under his breath, he took three strides and pulled her into his arms.

“It’s okay, Kitty Cat,” he said softly. “You’re not staying here.”

She lowered her hands, tears streaming down her face.

“I’m sorry, Wade, I don’t mean to be like this. But the thought of spending the next month or so here... I’m already nauseous from the smell—and I can’t take the noise and the carpet and the awful bedspread...”

“I know. I think someone heated up liver and onions, and that’s unacceptable.”

“I could handle the smell. I think I could, at least, but it’s so loud, and there’s no front porch with a rocker. And the bathroom tile freaks me out. Where are the butterflies? I can’t do this!”

He didn’t know what she was talking about, but if it meant she was coming home with him, he liked it. Keeping his arms around her, he stroked her hair. Soft, lush hair. “Shh... I know. This is no place for you.”

“I agree.” She stepped out of his embrace, tilting her chin up. “I’m finding another hotel.”

“What?” Didn’t she get it? She wasn’t staying in Casper in a hotel. She was coming back to JPX Ranch, where she’d have rest and fresh air and good food. And him.

He needed to keep an eye on her...as long as possible.

“Come on.” She hurried to the door. “I’m serious. We have to find another hotel. Today.”

The familiar no-budging tone had him gritting his teeth. Just when he thought he’d won, she threw down a new gauntlet. He couldn’t argue with that tone. No one could.

“Fine.” He’d take her to other hotels, but he wasn’t going to leave her at any of them.

He hadn’t been in the habit of praying for a long time. But he needed help. This was a situation he couldn’t control on his own. Would God even listen to a guy like him? He knew he was saved. Believed Jesus had died and risen for him. But he hadn’t been to church in years. And he kept a Bible in his nightstand only because when he left it on top all it did was gather dust.

Look, God, I know we’re not exactly tight, but Kit’s a praying woman. She might think she’s better off here in Casper, but I need You to convince her to come back with me. I don’t want her alone in her condition.

Wade followed Kit out of the room. He clearly needed to work on his praying skills.

In the meantime, maybe if he gave her more reasons to come back with him, she’d cave. He’d think of them while they drove.

* * *

She hadn’t felt this low in, well, a week, but today had been extra discouraging. Kit slid into the booth of the restaurant Wade had picked out. Her carefully constructed plan had fallen apart.

The best hotel with long-term vacancy was three times the price of Jambalaya Suites. She couldn’t afford it, and even if she could, the room had been small, and she hadn’t liked the location.

None of the rooms she’d toured today had a view of meadows. None of them had a big comfy bed and a gourmet kitchen. She’d felt claustrophobic in them. All the anxieties she’d been fighting a week ago had flooded back to her as she’d stood in the confined spaces.

If she stayed in any of the hotels, she’d spend every waking minute worrying about the baby. At Wade’s she’d been able to rest, to think, to clear her head. And while she hadn’t exactly been happy, she’d felt more like herself than she had in years. Which in itself unsettled her. Who was she if not Kit McAllistor?

“What are you hungry for?” Wade peered over his menu. “I’m starving. Let’s get an appetizer.”

She realized how hungry she was. “Yeah, I’m famished.”

“I’ll get us a sampler platter.”

Sounded delicious. But food wasn’t the main issue on her mind.

She wanted to go back to Wade’s ranch. Just until the apartment opened up.

How could she ask that of him when he’d already driven her all the way here and she’d forced him to trek to hotel after hotel? He might not even want her staying in his cabin anymore. She was too much trouble for him. Just like she’d been for Cam.

She let out a loud sigh.

“What’s wrong?” He folded the menu and placed it on the table.

“Nothing.”

“I know better. That sound was not nothing.”

“I guess I’m disappointed.” She set her menu on top of his. “I thought this would be the perfect solution.”

His eyebrows formed a V as he nodded.

“And the only hotel I’m considering is the last one we visited.”

“The room was small.”

“I don’t need much space.” It was true. She didn’t. But it didn’t have the porch and the view she’d enjoyed all week.

“Listen, I’ve been thinking.” He leaned forward, clasping his hands and resting his forearms on the table. His baby blues captured hers. A girl could get lost for days in those eyes. “I know you want to be close to the hospital. But you’re not due for months. Sweet Dreams has a medical clinic. I’m sure they have a baby doctor. And if they don’t, any of the other neighboring towns must have at least one among them.”

She could see where he was going with this, and the gesture was so wonderful, she almost started to cry again.

“I think you should put the hotel idea on hold for now. Just stay in my cabin. You liked it there. I could tell. You look more rested, and your color’s back. It’s good for the baby.”

A lump grew in her throat, and she ducked her chin to keep a lid on her emotions.

“You want what’s best for the little guy. The air, the rest, the peace of my land does you good. And if it does you good, then it’s surely doing the baby good, too.”

Her thoughts exactly. The fact he was being so tender with her when she knew he’d itched to take charge all day made her feel small. He’d been amazing from the minute she arrived on his ranch, and here he was, sacrificing his time to give her the support she needed.

“I don’t know what to say, Wade. Thank you. I was trying to figure out how to tell you I wanted to come back with you, but I feel so bad about wasting your time.”

“You aren’t wasting my time. I needed to be here.”

Kit regarded him thoughtfully. She’d never forgotten what he’d told her about his mother disappearing years ago. Maybe he was worried the same thing would happen to Kit.

“I will be all right on my own, you know,” she said gently. “I would have been alone no matter what. The day I found out I was pregnant was the day Cam died.”

“Oh.” He blinked.

“He wanted a divorce, and I thought the baby would change his mind. When it didn’t, I screamed things at him, terrible, awful things.”

The way his mouth dropped open, she guessed he was trying to process everything.

“I’m the reason Cam is dead.”

“That’s crazy,” he said. “He had a heart attack.”

“Because of me. I’ve never lost control like that. I yelled the most hateful things... He slammed out the door. And had a heart attack a few hours later.”

“Kit...you weren’t responsible—”

“Yes, I was. He would not have had the heart attack if I hadn’t been so angry. I would take back every horrible thing I said if I could.”

“We all get angry. We all yell nasty things.”

“I shouldn’t have done it. I knew better.” She felt steady now. She could see it all clearly. “The girl you grew up with doesn’t exist anymore. She might not have ever existed.”

“The Kit I grew up with is sitting right in front of me.” His eyes blazed with intensity. “You didn’t kill your husband.”

“Only you would say that. You always saw the best in me. But I’m asking you not to. See the real me. No illusions.”

“I see the real you. I wonder if you do.” The words were quiet, sincere. “I’m taking you home.”

Home. The word swamped her with relief. Maybe Wade didn’t get it, but right now she didn’t care.

“You’ll see things more clearly when you’ve had some time to rest and move forward. And I don’t care what you say or how you try to convince me you’re some horrible person. You’re not.”

Some of the bricks she’d mortared over her heart tumbled down, but there wasn’t much she could do about it now. The man sitting before her would be terribly easy to fall in love with.

And then she’d be right back to square one.

Every time she gave her heart away, eventually it was tossed back to her, bloody and damaged.

“And before we head back, we’re driving to the apartment of yours to make sure it’s in a safe location.” He picked his menu back up. “Don’t argue with me. It’s nonnegotiable.”

She’d just have to get another pile of bricks.

Living on his ranch for another month would be worth it.