Читать книгу I am sort of a Loser - Jim Smith - Страница 11

The elastic strap on Bunky’s swimming goggles twanged as they shot out of his hands towards my face.

As they flew across the room, I went through the plan in my head:

1. Get hit in the nose by Bunky’s goggles

2. Start spinning around, screaming like a loser

3. Tangle myself up in the towel hanging on the hook next to me

4. Stumble into the showers like a blind ghost

5. Accidentally turn on the water and end up lying in a puddle, groaning

I smiled to myself, imagining everyone laughing at how loserkeel I was.

Then I realised I’d managed to do the whole list inside my head AND a smile to myself, all with the goggles still not hitting my nose.

I looked up and saw them shooting over the wall into the girls’ changing rooms.

‘FAY BABES!!! WATCH OUT!’ screamed Sharonella, then everything went quiet.

I climbed up Darren Darrenofski, then Stuart Shmendrix, and peered over the wall.

Fay was lying in a puddle in the showers, tangled up in a towel like a blind ghost, groaning, with all the girls laughing at how loserkeel she looked.

‘It’s exactly like you planned it, except it all happened to Fay instead!’ whispered a mini Barry in my brain, and I tried to swivel my eyeballs all the way round and give him one of my looks.

‘Get your OWN loserkeelness!’ I shouted, falling off Darren and Stuart and accidentally landing in the towel bin, which normally would’ve been really funny and loserkeel, except everyone was too busy laughing at Fay.