Читать книгу Barry Loser and the Holiday of Doom - Jim Smith - Страница 6

My best friend Bunky is sort of like my pet dog, so it was weird when he suddenly started fancying a cat one day.

It was about eight million weeks ago and me and Bunky were walking home from school past a Feeko’s Supermarket.

Summer was coming up, and the whole window was filled with swimming trunks and other holidayish things like that.

‘You should buy those for Sharonella!’ giggled Bunky, pointing at a bunch of fake plastic sunflowers.

Bunky’s been saying Sharonella from our class fancies me ever since she said I had a nice nose once.

‘Shut up, Bunky!’ I said, looking down at my nose and trying to work out what was so good about it. ‘How can someone like someone else’s nose?’ I mumbled, twitching it to see if that made it any better. ‘It’s just a nose for smelling stuff with.’

I tried to think of someone who fancied Bunky’s nose, but all I could come up with was my other best friend Nancy Verkenwerken, who’s sort of like my pet cat.

‘YOU SHOULD BUY THAT FOR NANCY!’ I shouted, pointing at a pink frilly bikini.

I was shouting because a plane had started flying over, by the way. Bunky’s whole face turned the same colour as the bikini, but less frilly. ‘I DON’T FANCY NANCY!’ he shouted, fiddling with a bit of old bubblegum someone had stuck on the wall.

I looked at Bunky. Something about the way he’d said it made me wonder if he actually DID fancy her. He’d definitely been smiling a lot at Nancy recently, but then Bunky smiles at everyone. That’s what sort-of pet dogs do.

And that’s when I noticed something. The whole time we’d been standing there, Bunky had been busy squidging the bubblegum into the shape of a heart.

‘WHAT IN THE NAME OF UNKEELNESS?!’ I gasped, which is what my favourite TV star Future Ratboy says when he can’t believe his eyes.

‘Huh?’ said Bunky, gazing through the window at a pair of sunglasses the same shape as Nancy’s specs.

I looked at my half-dog, half-bestfriend and imagined him bounding through a field of fake plastic sunflowers, his dog lead being held by Nancy Verkenwerken instead of me. All of a sudden I felt a bit queasy.

‘I’M GOING TO BE SICK,’ I shouted, even though the plane had completely flown off.