Читать книгу Above and Beyond - J.S. Dorian - Страница 34

“Behavior is a mirror in which everyone shows his image”.

JOHANN WOLFGANG VON GOETHE

Practically every one of us has been upset at one time or another by the insensitive way a close friend or relative is handling our illness. We’re surprised that these people aren’t more thoughtful and considerate when they’re around us, and that they don’t try to bend over backwards (just a little) in recognition of what we’re going through. But all too frequently they act just the opposite of what we expect. They are often self-centered and display inappropriate or even deplorable behavior.

Wait a minute. Is it realistic to expect that everyone we know will rise to the occasion just because we’re seriously ill? Isn’t that expecting far too much of them? The true reality is that most people react to serious illness in a manner reflecting their usual style of handling adversity or crisis. Those who tend to be angry respond angrily. Those who see themselves as perennial victims remain victims. Those who are sullen and withdrawn usually stay that way. And those who are usually kind and helpful? Well, they tend to be kind and helpful.

Here again, as in so many areas of life, we are for the most part powerless over other people’s attitudes, responses, and behavior. All we can do is state our case clearly and assertively; then let it go and get on with life.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

Unrealistic expectations cause unnecessary stress.