Читать книгу Heading Over the Hill - Judy Leigh - Страница 8

‘Watch where you’re going, Billy. Here’s the turn for Saunton.’

Dawnie thought he was going too fast so she shouted into his ear through the crash helmet. The loose silk strands of the black wig blew against her face and tickled her cheek as she heard his voice drift back to her on the wind.

‘Don’t worry, darlin’. I know the way.’

The engine slowed to a dull throb and Billy leaned the Harley to the right at the crossroads. They accelerated again, passing houses, a single shop and a group of farm buildings. Then tall trees leaned across the road and grass verges tapered on both sides.

Dawnie leaned her helmet against the hard leather of Billy’s jacket and closed her eyes. Things were changing fast, she knew that; she was entering another chapter of her life and, like Billy’s Harley increasing its speed along a narrow road, Dawnie felt that she had no control over where she was going. She gripped her arms around the tree-trunk thickness of his waist. She missed the children, much more than she could explain.

She closed her eyes and thought of Buddy, her youngest, now forty-four, but still her baby. He was tall like his father but artistic, moody, thoughtful, easily hurt. He’d had a string of unsuccessful relationships. The last woman he’d been seeing for over a year, Mandy from Farnworth, had broken his heart by going back to her husband and two children. Dawnie had never liked Mandy: her gaze was too bold, her hand on Buddy’s arm too possessive, too confident. And she had hurt him so badly that he’d left his home two months ago and now he was wandering across the United States, playing his guitar and apparently trying to find himself. He was lost, her sweet, sensitive son. He’d probably marry a flaxen-haired banjo-playing vocalist from Wichita, settle down in Topeka and she’d never see him again. Dawnie sighed. It was different for Billy: he didn’t feel the same about the children. He’d never been there when she’d wiped their tears, bathed scraped knees or been erratic about bedtimes. She’d done most of the parenting of Buddy and Lindy Lou by herself, so it was no surprise that she felt so alone without them.

Bereft, that was the word. Living in Little Lever with Lindy Lou and her brood had driven her crazy at times. The noise had been a constant buzzing in her head: laughter, screaming, shouting. But it had been thriving family banter, Lindy nagging Stewie to wash the dishes, or Lindy yelling at Fallon because Milo needed his feed and her daughter was still in the bathroom doing her hair. Dawnie had been at the centre of it all, playing Superman with little Caleb, and dancing to pop music with Willow while Billy cooked a huge family hotpot. It was impossible to be lonely in such a busy house.

And yes, there had been times when she’d craved a moment with Billy all by herself, when she watched him sharing a pint with Stewie, discussing global warming, his brow set in a frown, or when he made up the rocking cradle for Milo in Fallon’s room, or while he was teasing Lindy Lou about her short skirts, which were exactly like her own. Then, she’d wanted Billy all to herself, and now there was just the two of them she was not disappointed. They had plenty of time to share. But, she thought, wasn’t that just the way life came around and bit you on the bum? Now that she had quality time with her husband, she was missing the children.

Dawnie heaved a sigh and blinked tears, squeezed her eyes closed, then opened them wide and peered over Billy’s shoulder. Ahead, the road was curving downhill and to the left there was an expanse of intense blue. The sea stretched out, blending into sky. Dawnie bit her lip. This was her future now, open, new and fresh for the taking. She had to grasp it with both hands. It was what Billy needed. It would bring him the peace he craved. It was what they’d said they both wanted. Dawnie had been sure that was what she wanted most. She was almost sure.

Billy’s voice drifted back to her. ‘Saunton Sands. There isn’t a soul around. We’ll stop and have a walk, will we, darlin’?’

The Harley chugged slowly down a winding path, turning left into a car park and stopping next to a van where a young man was half wearing a wetsuit, rubbing a towel over his bare torso and damp locks. Billy nodded to the surfer and brought the bike to a standstill, pulling off his helmet. Dawnie did the same, rubbing her hand over the dark curly strands of her wig to make sure the style wasn’t flattened. The surfer glanced at them and then glanced away, throwing the towel in the back of the van before lifting up his surfboard. Billy offered a hand to Dawnie. ‘Let’s walk down to the sea.’

She slipped her small hand into his huge paw, feeling his fingers encase hers, keeping them warm. They walked past an ice cream shop, over cobbles towards the beach. The sands were an infinite expanse, stretching towards rising waves, a glittering line of sea and a vast cloudless sky, a merging of deep dreamy blues. Dawnie sighed. If they moved near to here, they could walk on the beach every morning, their faces pressed by the bracing breeze. Dawnie felt healthier already, gulping the cold air that reached the back of her throat.

She was lost in thought for a while; it looked exactly the same as when she and Billy had brought their youngsters, more than forty years ago. This would be an ideal place for Lindy Lou to visit with Fallon and the little ones: they’d have a great time playing on the beach. To the left, sand dunes rose in little hillocks and, behind them, more towering hummocks of sand. Dawnie imagined Willow and Caleb rushing up the mounds screaming, their voices thrown into the air by the wind that billowed in their t-shirts as they slid down the sandy helter-skelters on the seats of their jeans. Dawnie could picture their faces laughing against the breeze, their eyes screwed up small, just as her own children had done. A sigh made a hard ball in her chest, and she let it out slowly.

‘Penny for them, darlin’?’

She shook her head, making her anxious thoughts rattle. ‘I was just wondering about Lindy Lou. I hope she’ll be all right. I wondered if we shouldn’t send her some more money…’

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She shivered, small and fragile. He took a breath. ‘I gave them some money before we left. Lindy and Stewie both have jobs now. She enjoys working on the school dinners with the others – it’s good company for her, and Stewie’s just started in the plastics factory…’

‘That can’t be easy…’ Dawnie bit her lip. ‘What with him being an eco-warrior.’

Billy chuckled. ‘It’s only until he finds something better.’

‘It’s always been the same with Stewie, Billy. He likes to move from one job to another. But at least he always comes home every evening for Lindy and Fallon.’

‘I know, Dawnie.’ Billy squeezed his arm around her, as if making up for his past absence. He frowned. ‘I know it was tough on you in those days.’ His face remained thoughtful for a moment, then he grinned. ‘But it’s our time now. You and me, here by the sea, fresh air, a new start, the open road to our future… I need the peace and quiet, darlin’ – you know that.’

Dawnie felt the tears blur her vision again and the constriction in her throat made the next words difficult. ‘Should we go up and visit them in a week or two? Just to help Fallon out with the kiddies?’

‘Let’s leave them be for a while, will we? Let them stand on their own feet while we try to find ours again?’ His grip tightened on her shoulder. ‘You and I fall in step just grand together, don’t we?’

Dawnie looked down at her feet on the sand. She and Billy were moving forward, their feet beating the same rhythm, his stride smaller to match her short paces. She glanced up at him, into the soft gaze, and forced a smile. ‘You’re right, Billy. They don’t need me mollycoddling them all their lives, do they? And it’s our chance now.’ She breathed out sharply. ‘And Lord knows we waited long enough for this time together. We’ve earned it.’

Billy grunted softly. ‘We can have adventures: a new house, trips out on the bike, new roads to travel. Fun times ahead for us, my darlin’.’

‘And what about Buddy? What about our lovely boy, all those miles away?’

‘You have to let him lead his own life now.’

‘He hasn’t texted us in ages.’

‘He texted last Sunday morning, a week ago,’ Billy sighed. ‘He said he was fine. He said he’d been talking to some fellas in Kansas City about putting a blues band together.’

‘Oh yes, a week ago. He’s not the best communicator, is he? It seems longer than that.’ Dawnie glanced up into the air. A seagull was flying in an arc over their heads. The wind took its wings and tossed it backwards. Billy glanced in the same direction and then reached into his inside pocket, pulling out a small digital camera. He pointed the lens towards the sea and then swirled towards the sand dunes, focusing and waiting for the shutter to snap.

‘There’s some grand stuff to photograph here.’ He pushed the camera back inside his jacket. ‘I’ve heard there are honey buzzards, goshawks and red kites. I’d love to take some photos of a white-tailed eagle. There are some not far from here; I read about it in a book.’

Dawnie squeezed his hand. ‘I’ll never forget the picture you took at Martin Mere Wetlands, the one of the two swans and the little cygnets swimming in formation downstream. The one that won the competition.’

‘That’s how I got this camera, remember: it was first prize.’ Billy patted his jacket, aware of the small hump in his inside pocket. ‘But I’m looking forward to getting close to some new species here. I’d love to take some better pictures of kingfishers, too…’

‘We should put some of your photos on the walls, Billy. It cost enough to frame them,’ Dawnie mumbled. ‘We can use them to cover up the horrible magnolia paint of number thirteen Maggot Street.’ She sighed. ‘I’ll have to buy some different coloured paints and liven the place up a bit.’

Billy shrugged. ‘It’s just six months in Margot Street. We’ll be dandy. And my photos are all packed away in crates…’

She elbowed him gently, a gesture of mischief, her former sad mood lifting. ‘Well, you’d better organise a trip to the DIY shop this week, because I can’t stare at those bland walls any longer. I rang the owner and he said it was all right to paint the walls as long as I pick a neutral colour. So, we need to pick up a few pots of paint.’ Her eyes twinkled with mischief. ‘There’s one I’ve seen, Jewelled Sunset, bright flaming orange it is – or a bright pink, Fandango Fuchsia – and a feature wall in a deep nautical blue, just like the sea… I mean, that’s almost neutral.’

Billy caught the playful sparkle in her gaze and gave a throaty laugh. ‘Well, I’ll be leaving the creative stuff to you, my darlin’. Just pick the pots of paint and get the brushes and we can spruce the house up any way you like. You’re the boss of all that stuff.’

Dawnie took a deep breath. ‘Homemaker, am I?’ She thought for a moment, then stood still, her feet planted in the sand. Billy was staring at her. Dawnie folded her arms. ‘Right. Let’s go back to the bike now, Billy, and stop somewhere for a coffee on the way back to Maggot Street, shall we? Then maybe we can look in a few estate agents’ windows. I know they’ll all be closed but we can still window-shop. Let’s see what’s out there in our price range.’

She moved her hands to her hips. ‘You’re right about this being our time together, Billy. We need to get a shift on and start this house hunting. After all, we’re making our final move now until they take one or other of us out in a box.’ Her face was determined beneath the dark curls. ‘So, we need to find the perfect home, the me-and-you-together-forever, happy-ever-after place we deserve, Billy Murphy, where you can fall asleep to the sound of the sea and wake refreshed and happy in the morning, no nightmares. What do you say to that?’

Billy smiled at her, his eyes crinkling, the pupils large with love. ‘I’d say you were exactly right, darlin’.’ He wrapped an arm around her shoulders as they turned back and began to stroll across the expanse of soft sand towards the car park. ‘In fact, I’d say you were always right about just about everything.’

Dawnie nodded, her mouth firm and resolute. ‘Okay, Billy, here we go, onwards and upwards towards our new future.’ She gazed up at him and winked. ‘You can buy the coffee. And I’ll have a nice slice of cake with mine.’

‘Cake, coffee, whatever you want.’ Billy slowed down to fall in step with her stride. ‘I’d give you the moon if I could, darlin’. You know that. But we’ll start with some coffee and cake for the now, will we?’