Читать книгу Best Friends…To Lovers - Jules Bennett - Страница 18

Ten

Mac stood on the edge of the dock, staring out at the inky water. They’d stayed at the bonfire well past midnight. For the requisite toast, Jenna had opted to have a glass of wine. He’d never seen her drink because of her mother’s past alcoholism. Mary had been clean for several years now and she’d not batted an eyelash when the wine was brought out. She was a strong woman; she’d raised strong daughters.

But the glass of wine on Jenna’s empty stomach had made her woozy and she’d clung to him all the way home.

Home. Ridiculous to think of this little structure on stilts in the water as home. Even more ridiculous to think of living with Jenna as home.

Once they’d returned, Mac had showered quickly to rid himself of the bonfire’s smoky scent. When he’d come out, Jenna had been pouring a glass of juice.

She’d downed that glass and headed to the shower. Mac had waited outside the bathroom door until she was done. The last thing he needed was her falling and hitting her head because she wasn’t used to alcohol.

Now he stood out on the deck, as far away from temptation as he could handle. Jenna was proving to be more of a problem than he’d originally thought. Well, she wasn’t necessarily the problem, but his unwanted emotions were. Over and over he told himself to leave her alone, to stop all the touching and kissing, but then he got near her and all of that logic vanished, quickly replaced by hormones.

Bare feet shuffled behind him and he forced himself to remain still. She was tipsy, no doubt vulnerable, and the last thing she needed was flirty advances from him. When she’d sent him away earlier, he’d promised himself when he came back he’d be on his best behavior. That hadn’t lasted long.

But he couldn’t forget the image of Jenna’s face when he’d arrived at the bonfire. She’d truly been shocked that he’d come back. Had she honestly thought he wouldn’t be there for her? What type of men had she been dating?

“My father left my mother when Amy and I were younger.”

Her soft words slid over him and he knew she was about to let him into that part of her world he’d never seen. After years of friendship, he truly knew nothing about her father...only that the man wasn’t in the picture. Mac also knew Jenna and Amy had different fathers, but everything else he knew about Jenna was from events he’d been present for over the past decade.

“Apparently he’d been cheating on her for some time,” Jenna went on. “Mom had no clue. She’d been so in love. She would have dinner ready when he came home from work. She’d iron his clothes and have them ready. She was always hugging him or laughing at his lame jokes. I saw the love in her eyes.”

Mac didn’t like the sorrow in Jenna’s tone, but he wasn’t about to stop her now. He needed to see inside her life in order to understand her better. But maybe she didn’t want him to know all of this.

“Is this a drunk confession?” he asked, only half joking.

“I’m not drunk.” Jenna laughed. “Okay, maybe a little tipsy, but I know full well what I’m telling you.”

Mac turned to face her and an instant punch of lust hit him hard. She leaned against the door frame, casual as you please, wearing a short, strapless dress that clung to her damp skin. Her wet hair lay perfectly over one shoulder. The glistening droplets covering her body caught the moonlight with each breath she took and it was all Mac could do to stand still and not go touch her.

“My mother was devastated when my dad left.” Jenna’s arms came up, wrapping around her midsection. “She was completely blindsided and the bastard left her a note. He was such a coward. He left a note to a woman who was so in love with him she would’ve done anything he asked. He left two little girls who had to grow up too fast and learn the harsh realities of life and marriage.”

The hitch in her voice gutted him. She’d dreamed of a wedding, she’d kept her mother’s wedding dress. Clearly she believed she’d find “the one” despite all she’d witnessed as a young girl.

His Jenna had hopes and dreams, and he was riding a fine line of destroying everything. He knew she was getting attached. He could feel it in her touch, taste the emotion in her kisses.

“Amy and I had no clue how to help my mom,” she went on, staring out into the night as if she were watching the events unfold before her. “She rarely got out of bed. When she did, it was to get a drink. Finally she started keeping the bottles by her bed. Amy would fix my hair for school and make sure to hold my hand as we went to the bus stop. Amy and I were pretty good at covering up the lack of parenting at our house until it came time for report cards and Amy forged my mom’s signature.”

Mac could easily see these two sisters looking after each other, and worrying for their mother who had been slapped in the face by fate’s harsh hand.

“Long story short, our neighbors, who had kids our age, ended up taking us in while mom went to rehab.” Jenna shook her head as if to clear her thoughts. “We don’t talk about that time because it was so dark, so depressing and that’s not who my mother is.”

“That’s why one glass of wine has you stumbling.”

Jenna nodded. “I’ll have a glass of wine every now and then, but I saw how it nearly destroyed my mother. I saw how falling for the wrong man crippled her to the point I didn’t recognize her anymore.”

And that’s why she was fighting this attraction. Everything fell into place now. He’d vowed before not to touch her when he didn’t have to, but now Mac knew he needed to be hands off unless they were in public and trying to keep up this charade.

Blowing out a frustrated breath, Mac moved to the hammock and eased down. Flipping his feet up, he reclined, lacing his hands behind his head.

“Go on to bed, Jenna. We’ve had a long day.”

Silence filled the space, but she didn’t move. He was hanging on by a thread here. As if he weren’t physically attracted enough, now she went and threw vulnerability into the mix. He couldn’t handle knowing she was hurting, but he only knew one way to console her. Having sex with her would be a temporary moment of happiness and once they were done, she’d hate him and he couldn’t live with that.

Having Jenna hurt at his hands wasn’t an option. This could never be just a fling for her and he should’ve accepted that from the beginning. Or, maybe in the back of his mind he had realized it, but didn’t want to face the truth staring him in the face.

“Thank you for coming back,” she murmured. “I thought you’d leave the island.”

“I promised I’d be here for you, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but things are more intense than either of us intended.”

Understatement of the year. And he was seriously rethinking his entire strategy.

“I’m sorry I hurt you earlier,” she went on. “I’m not good at lying to people I love.”

“A few more days and this will all be over.”

“Will it?” she asked. “Because I’m not sure I can forget how you kissed me, how you’ve held me, touched me.”

Shutting his eyes, he gritted his teeth and attempted to dig deep for willpower. If she’d told him this before her confession about her father, he would have been all over her. But now he knew why she was so leery and he knew he had to take a step back...even if it killed him.

“Can you forget?” she whispered.

“Leave it, Jenna. Go to bed.”

“Where will you be?”

“Right here.”

The second he heard her cross the deck, he froze. He opened his eyes to see her standing next to him, her gaze on his.

“You don’t have to stay out here,” she told him, her voice huskier than seconds ago. “Maybe I’m ready to give in. Maybe I’m ready to stop being so damn good all the time and holding out for the perfect man in my life.”

“It’s the wine,” he told her. “In the morning you’ll feel different.”

He pulled his hands from behind his head and laid them on his abdomen. Those hands had done some ugly things, too many to even count, and he didn’t deserve to have them on her body. He didn’t deserve what she willingly offered.

“What if I don’t feel different, Mac?” she asked. Those eyes of hers remained locked on to his and it was all he could do not to jerk her down on top of him and finish what she’d started.

“Go to bed, Jenna. Alone.”

“Mac—”

“Damn it,” he yelled, hating when she jumped. “You have no idea what you’re saying. I don’t do relationships, I do sex. That’s it. I don’t want more and I won’t give more. We’re friends. I shouldn’t have taken it so far when we were alone, but you do things to me. I lost my head for a bit. I promise it won’t happen again.”

She bit down on her lip, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “You’re a liar. You want me as much as I want you.”

She was right. He was a liar. Millions of dollars rolled in from his ability to lie and cheat. He’d ordered killings and may again sooner rather than later. He didn’t deserve this beautiful, sweet woman before him.

Mac eased up slightly on the swaying hammock and stared her straight in the eyes. “I can’t want you. Not like that. Not anymore.”

He heard her breath hitch, saw the shimmer in her eyes and he cursed himself. He’d never forgive himself if they were intimate and she fell for him. They’d go their separate ways in Miami and she’d be hurt. She couldn’t be part of his life, not the ugly world he was born into. She’d be ruined and he hated like hell that Martin had been right.

With a tilt of her chin as she blinked back tears, Jenna took only a second to compose herself. “I never thought you’d turn into a coward.”

“Coward?”

She leaned down, gripped the ropes on either side of him, sending the hammock swaying slightly. “You’re afraid of wanting me for more than sex. You know it, and you’re terrified because I know it.”

Damn it, this was going too far. “Jenna—”

“Unless you’re about to tell me I’m right, then save it.” Her eyes narrowed as she licked her lips. Those lips he’d tasted, those same lips he craved when they weren’t on his. “I’m going to bed alone. I don’t care what you do anymore. If you can’t be honest with me, then we have nothing more to say.”

With a quick jerk he didn’t see coming, she flipped the hammock and sent him plummeting face-first onto the deck. Mac turned his head just in time to see her bare feet disappear into the bungalow. The bedroom door slammed seconds later.

Mac couldn’t help but laugh as he lay there on the hard floor. One glass of wine and his Jenna was aroused, angry and feisty.

Damn if that didn’t make him want her more than ever.