Читать книгу Best Friends…To Lovers - Jules Bennett - Страница 20

Twelve

What the hell was he thinking, inviting her to take that dress off? He’d slept in a damn hammock last night to avoid temptation and here he was begging for it to be rubbed in his face.

Jenna was absolutely breathtaking in her simple pink bra and panty set. Women threw themselves at him, purposely wore the sexiest of lingerie to entice him, but nothing got his attention more than a self-conscious Jenna wearing cotton. She moved him...so much that he had no idea what label to put on his emotions.

But he’d turned her away for a reason and he needed to keep in mind that, after this week, they both would return to Miami and the life they were used to. As friends.

Between thoughts of her in bed last night and texting Ryker, Mac hadn’t gotten much sleep. Ryker was still playing cat and mouse with Shane. Unfortunately, Braden was still MIA and Mac was starting to worry. He was also growing concerned he’d have to make a decision about Shane in short order.

Not something he wanted to think about while holding Jenna’s hand in a place that could rival paradise.

“I know I keep saying it, but this place is so amazing.”

She slid her hand free of his and ran her fingertips through the water. She dunked down so the water just skimmed the tops of her shoulders and Mac knew she was trying to keep her body hidden from him. He wasn’t going to say anything. He didn’t want to call her out or make her even more embarrassed. All he wanted was for her to see herself the way he did, the way any man with breath in his lungs would see a voluptuous woman.

“We probably shouldn’t stay long, though.”

Mac shook his head and slid onto his back to float.

“In a place like this, time doesn’t exist.”

“You’re right. But I almost feel guilty for leaving and just—”

“Enjoying yourself?” he asked, coming back up to face her. “Don’t feel guilty. The flowers are coming along so don’t even think about those. And as for Martin, if I keep seeing him staring at you, I can’t guarantee I’ll hold myself back again.”

Jenna laughed. “Hold yourself back? You punched him.”

Mac nodded. “In my head I did more. He’s lucky.”

A sadness slipped over her features as she glanced away. “I wish you wouldn’t be so cavalier about violence. You’re too good of a man for that.”

Mac clenched his teeth. He wasn’t a good man. Moments ago he was contemplating making a call to end a life. There was evil in his family, though Braden was doing his damnedest to move away from that aspect of their activities. If Mac had to make the call, he would do so without a shadow of a doubt. He didn’t make mistakes and he sure as hell wouldn’t jump into a decision like this without fully analyzing every possible angle.

“You’re my priority here,” he told her. “You called me to help, and this is me helping. I don’t like how he looks at you, how he treated you. He doesn’t even deserve to be here, but that’s not my call. I will protect you from getting hurt again, though. That much I can and will control.”

Jenna’s eyes widened; she bit down on her lower lip before turning away and diving into the water. She disappeared for a moment and popped up closer to the waterfall. With her dark hair slicked back, she looked like some type of dream rising from the waters. She was glorious, she was perfection...and for now she was his. He would resist temptation and give her this day of relaxation, no matter the cost to his feelings.

But taking his eyes off of her was not even a possibility. She floated easily on her back, her face tipped up to the sun, her mouth curved in a subtle smile that took his breath away.

Splashing water up onto his bare shoulders didn’t help cool him off. Mac wasn’t too certain anything would at this point. The sound of the rushing waterfall seemed to drown out everything else. Well, everything but his thoughts.

“You’re frowning,” Jenna stated as she waded closer to him. “How can anyone frown in a place like this?”

He blinked, attempting to will his demons away. “I didn’t mean to.”

As she neared him, her body lifted from the water as she threw her arms out to the side and closed her eyes. “I never want to leave. Ever.”

He laughed at her childlike declaration, but as soon as she dropped her arms, the straps on her bra slid down over her shoulders. Without thinking, Mac reached out with both hands and pushed them back up. But instead of letting go and backing away, he curled his fingers around her wet, bare skin.

Those expressive eyes widened as she licked her bottom lip. Her heavy inhale pressed her chest out just enough to brush against his.

“Mac,” she murmured.

“I know.” Keeping his grip on her, he closed his eyes and told himself to pull away, but he couldn’t. Not yet. “I didn’t bring you here for this. But damn it, Jenna. I can’t keep my hands off you.”

With a tip of her chin, she reached up and held on to his wrists. “You know I won’t be like all those other women in your life. That’s not who I am.”

Mac swallowed. “It’s not who I want to be,” he whispered. He had no idea if she heard him over the waterfall, but sleeping around wasn’t something he’d set out to do. He’d never wanted a relationship, and being with women who were on the same page as him seemed to work. But right now, he felt...dirty. As if he wasn’t good enough for her. He hated feeling like this.

Maybe he couldn’t sleep with her, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t show her how much she meant to him.

With careful movements, and keeping his eyes on hers, he pushed the straps back down. Her hands remained around his wrists, but she didn’t try to stop him. When he slid his fingertips over the flesh just above the lace trim of her bra, her body trembled beneath his touch.

When her hands tightened and she started to shake her head, Mac cut her off. “This isn’t about me,” he explained. “Let me show you.”

Jenna remained silent, but held his gaze.

“Trust me,” he added.

The slightest of nods gave him the green light he’d been waiting for. He hadn’t even realized how monumental this was, but there was no way he could ever let her think she’d be like any other woman in his life. She was so much more.

She let go of his wrists, giving him complete control. Mac reached around and unfastened her bra, then removed the unwanted garment. Giving it a fling toward the shore, he allowed his eyes to rake over her exposed body. The water lapped just beneath her bare breasts and he could tell by the way she’d curled her body in and glanced away that she was vulnerable and doubting herself.

“You’re the most beautiful woman, Jenna. Look at me,” he commanded when she kept her eyes averted. “These perfect curves were made for a man’s hands.” My hands.

She didn’t reply and he knew she didn’t believe him. He was all too happy to show her exactly what he meant. Society had some warped idea of what a beautiful woman should look like, but in his opinion, a woman should be built like a woman. All curves and dips. A perfect layout to explore and enjoy.

Keeping his eyes locked on to hers, he wanted her to see every single emotion in his eyes. He wanted her to understand just how pivotal this moment was. And if he delved any more into that line of thinking, he’d terrify himself. But the last thing he wanted now was to pull away.

Mac cupped her face in his hands. “Don’t take your eyes off me.”

She didn’t nod, didn’t speak. She made no motion whatsoever. If Mac let his ego have control he’d think she was under his spell, but it was quite the opposite.

He cupped her breasts, loving how she quivered beneath his touch. When he moved his hands down her sides, she attempted to shift away.

“Never pull away from my touch.”

Jenna froze. Keeping his eyes on hers, he let his palms travel over her soft skin beneath the water. Her stomach clenched, her hips tilted and he knew her body was reacting all on its own. Hooking his thumbs under the edge of her panties, he started pulling them down. A bit harder to do in the water, but he was a man with one goal in mind—to make Jenna feel like the beautiful, desirable woman she was.

“Brace your hands on my shoulders.”

“Mac—”

“Do it.”

Water trickled from her fingertips as she brought her hands from the water and placed them on his shoulders. Without another word, she lifted one foot at a time and let him remove the last of her clothing. Keeping one hand on her hip and the other between her thighs, he watched as her lids lowered halfway, desire completely consuming her. Her lips parted, a soft sigh escaped and Mac wanted more. Much more.

He wanted his name on her lips, he wanted her to know who was pleasuring her and why. He wanted Jenna to see this as much more than a quick release.

When he slid one finger over her center, her fingertips curled into his skin. Mac was barely hanging on by a thread because he couldn’t wait to see her come undone. But Jenna was worth the wait.

As he moved his hand, she rocked her hips, never taking her eyes off him. There was something so intimate, so primal about watching her. He didn’t think this much with other women, didn’t analyze every detail. But he didn’t want to mess up a single thing with Jenna.

Mac gripped her waist as his hand moved faster. Her body kept up with his rhythm and Mac watched as a pink tint crept over her face. A sheen of sweat covered her forehead and nose, but she never once took her eyes off him.

Her body jerked. “Mac, I’m—”

“Do it,” he demanded.

When she tightened around him, his name slid off her lips like a whispered promise. Her eyes widened as if she wasn’t expecting the onslaught. Mac held her close and kept pleasuring her until her body went lax.

Wrapping both hands around her waist, he pulled her against his chest. Her heartbeat seemed to be just as frantic as his own.

The sound of the rushing water, the occasional bird chirping and Jenna’s panting were all music to his ears. Nothing else mattered but this moment, this woman. Words eluded him. Honestly, if he opened his mouth right now, he didn’t know what he’d say. He was aching to be with her, but he wouldn’t put her in that position. Beyond that, he wanted to say something sweet, something romantic...but that wasn’t them. They weren’t here for romance and he sure as hell didn’t want her to get the wrong idea.

Jenna’s hand slid over his board shorts, heading toward the one spot he needed her most. But he pulled away.

“No.”

Jerking back, her brows drew in as she searched his face. “Why?”

Mac clenched his teeth. “This isn’t about me or even us. This was all for you.”

A slight grin tipped one corner of her mouth. “Hardly seems fair.”

Taking her hands in his, he kissed her fingertips and placed her palms flat on his chest. “I don’t want you to think you’re like other women. This wasn’t about sex, Jenna. I need you to know that.”

She stared at him for a moment without saying a word. “I don’t know what to think,” she finally said. “You don’t want anything in return?”

With a painful laugh, Mac shook his head. “You already know the answer to that, but you deserve more and I never want you to think that you’re in a group with any other woman I’ve been with. You’re completely different. I’ve never...”

Damn it. He didn’t plan on confessing his doubts. He wanted to pleasure her, enjoy a little swim, have a few laughs and fly back to their bungalow. Why did this have to be so difficult?

“You’ve never what?” she prompted, moving closer to wrap her arms around his neck.

Swallowing any fear of opening up to her, Mac stated, “I’ve never just given without expecting something in return. I’ve never wanted to. A relationship has never been in the future for me so I always make sure to...”

Mercy. The more his thoughts started taking a stroll out of his mouth, the more he sounded like a jerk.

“I’ve been a bastard,” he confessed, guilt slamming into his chest and squeezing like a vice. “I purposely find women who only want one thing and then I move on. I never set out to be that way, Jenna, and I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”

Mac dropped his head because the last thing he wanted was for Jenna to see him vulnerable or broken. Damn it, he hadn’t even known how much this hurt him until he started saying the words out loud. He’d used his body in an attempt to ignore all the anxiety and fear that came with relationships. And maybe he hadn’t even noticed until right now.

“You’re telling me because you care.” She tipped his chin up and he was rewarded with a megawatt smile that told him she completely understood and wasn’t judging. “You’re telling me because you value our friendship and you don’t want to hurt me. And I never thought you were a bastard.”

Mac reached up and framed her face. With her lush wet body plastered against his, he never wanted to leave this place, either. Why couldn’t they just run away and be—

Wait. What the hell was he thinking? Run away? As in, together? He didn’t have time or the emotional stability to attempt anything like a relationship and he sure as hell wouldn’t make Jenna his guinea pig.

Just because he’d had some grand epiphany over his suppressed emotions like some damn woman didn’t mean he wanted to explore boyfriend territory. He was still out for a good time...he just wanted that with Jenna and then he wanted to move on.

Damn it. He’d created a giant mess and plopped her right smack dab in the middle.

“What you did just now.” She bit down on her lip before continuing. “Nobody has ever put my needs first. The way you look at me, the way you touch me...”

“What?” He wanted to hear her say it. Needed to hear her say it. And that made him not only a bastard, but a masochist, because he had nothing to offer her beyond the physical.

“You make me feel beautiful,” she whispered.

Every part of Mac wanted to rejoice in the fact that she’d finally seen herself as he did. “You are, Jenna. I’ve been trying to tell you that, and I needed to show you. It’s been hell trying to keep my hands off you, but I didn’t know another way. I wanted you to see how desirable you are, how much a man can completely break by being near you. You’ve got this power I don’t even think you are aware of possessing.”

Toying with the ends of his wet hair, Jenna held his gaze. “Things won’t be weird between us, will they? Because I can’t lose you.”

“No,” he vowed, praying he wasn’t lying. “You won’t lose me.”

But he wouldn’t, couldn’t ignore this ache. No matter the internal battle he’d been waging with himself, Mac had gotten the briefest glimpse of Jenna’s passion. He knew there was so much more to uncover and he planned on doing just that in the remaining days. He could figure out what to do for the long term later.

First things first. Jenna would be his.