Читать книгу The Midwife's Glass Slipper / Best For the Baby - Karen Rose Smith, Ann Evans - Страница 13

Emily hadn’t seen Jared all day on Monday. That was a good thing, she told herself. If she didn’t see him, she couldn’t want to see him more.

Her luck ran out when she headed into the hall. There he was, coming out of his office, his cell phone at his ear. When he saw her, he ended the call and frowned.

“Is something wrong?” Maybe one of his patients went into unexpected labor. Maybe his mother had spiked an infection. Maybe his life was none of her business.

As he hesitated, she felt the urge to step closer to him. But she didn’t have to. He took a step closer to her. “That was Chloie.”

Although she felt current between them, although deep in his eyes she saw he felt it, too, she changed her focus to his twins. “Are Amy and Courtney all right?”

“Oh, they’re fine. Except…they insist they want to see their grandmother.”

“Does that surprise you?”

He slipped his phone into the holster on his belt. “No. I was just hoping I could sidetrack them, at least until she got to the rehab facility. But they know she’s in the hospital and they want to see her. I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Emily thought about it. “You said they saw her fall.”

“That’s right. And they saw the ambulance come and take her away.”

She tried to put herself in the twins’ place. “They want to be reassured she’s coming home again.”

“I have been reassuring them of that, but I don’t think they believe me.”

Emily studied Jared. Already she suspected he was the type of man who liked to control his world. Once in a while, however, he had to settle for plan B. “What would be so terrible about taking them to the hospital for a short visit? They’re well-behaved.”

The lines around his eyes cut deeper with concern as he shook his head. “I don’t want them to see anything that will scare them. Hospitals aren’t always the kindest places. There are unusual machines, IVs…”

“I think you have to decide whether the benefits would outweigh everything else. What they conjure up in their thoughts could be worse than what they might actually see.”

Now his green eyes assessed her, considering her suggestion. “You mean if they’re excited about seeing their grandmother, they won’t notice anything else?”

She smiled. “I’m not that naive. Did you ever think about buying them one of those hospital play sets and explaining equipment they might see before they go?”

“I knew there was a reason I hired you,” he said with a teasing smile that sent her heart into an upbeat rhythm.

“The reason you hired me was to shift some of your patient load,” she teased back, feigning offense.

“And that’s worked very well,” he said seriously. “Our mothers-to-be trust you. You’ve really added a lot to this practice.”

The way he was looking at her with respect for her professional talent meant so much. “Thank you,” she murmured, wanting him to know her whole story, yet still afraid to confide in him.

After they stood there gazing at each other for a few heartbeats, Emily felt that tempting tension rise between them again.

“Why don’t you come with me to the toy store?” he suggested. “You can help me pick out the most appropriate play set.”

She shouldn’t. She absolutely knew she shouldn’t. What about taking a few risks? her inner voice asked while Francesca’s admonition to be careful played, too.

Jared took her silence as reluctance. His expression became serious. “You probably have other plans. The girls and I have taken up more than enough of your time.”

“No, that’s not true! I don’t have any other plans. In fact, I had a message from Francesca that she’d be tied up at the hospital again tonight. So I’d like to help you pick out a play set.” Maybe her concept of her world had to change. Maybe she had to take a step forward to move forward!

“Don’t feel you have to come, Emily. I don’t want you to feel any pressure.”

“I don’t feel pressured, Jared. I’d tell you if I did. The problem is, I like being with you.”

“You like being with me?” His voice held surprise.

“Yes. You’re a good listener. You’re easy to talk to. And we seem to understand each other. All qualities I like in a friend.” If she kept this light, maybe being with Jared wouldn’t be a mistake. She knew she was falling for him, but if they could be friends, maybe the fall wouldn’t hurt her.

“Friends, huh?”

She nodded as if that’s all she expected or wanted. Being honest with herself, she knew she wanted a lot more.

They’d been standing about a foot apart and now he moved closer. “I don’t think we’re going to be friends like Chloie and I are friends.”

“Probably not,” she admitted. “Every friendship is different.”

“What do you expect from your friends?” he asked, his voice husky.

What she wanted was to step into his arms. What she wanted was to feel his lips on hers again. And ultimately what she wanted was way more than he’d said he was willing to give.

What did she expect from friendship? “That depends on the level of friendship. It’s come to mean something different since I moved here and met Tessa and Francesca. I guess loyalty is the main quality I expect.”

The silence in the offices wrapped around them. The other doctors as well as the office staff had gone. No one was around but the two of them. If he reached for her, she wouldn’t pull away. He looked as if he wanted to. He looked as if he liked what she expected of friendship.

But Jared was the type of man who thought about professional reputation and ethics and time and place.

Breaking eye contact and the sensual haze that always seemed to surround them when they were together, he reached into his pocket for his keys. “Would you like to ride with me to the toy store?”

Emily considered sitting next to him in his sedan, aware of him in the confined space. “I’ll follow you.”

Fifteen minutes later, Emily walked beside Jared through the rows of the toy store. She felt as if she were on a date, though she knew she wasn’t. He’d tugged off his tie and opened the top button of his shirt. She could see a hint of his dark-brown chest hair. He was at least six feet tall and she felt almost fragile beside him. Every now and then, she caught the trace of a male fragrance that lingered at the end of the day. His thick hair curled slightly over his collar in the back and her fingers tingled to touch it. He glanced at her now and then. When their eyes met—

What was brewing between them was powerful chemistry neither of them could deny. Yet they were both trying to.

As they traversed the sports section, he stopped in front of the soccer balls. “I’m thinking about getting them one of these for Christmas.”

“You’re going to be a soccer dad?”

He shrugged. “I could take them to their games on Saturdays when I’m not on call.”

He appeared nonchalant but she could hear his voice strain when he realized that he couldn’t be with his daughters whenever they needed him.

After the sports aisle, they turned the corner into littlegirl land. Emily pointed to a princess Barbie. “Now, that’s a Christmas present.”

Jared laughed. “I can see how being a dad colors what I buy for them. I might have to consult you as a personal shopper for Christmas.”

She stopped at a miniature tea set with pictures of Cinderella on the pot and dishes and lifted it from the shelf. “Do you mind if I buy this for them?”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to. I think they’d have fun with it. Tea parties are great for the imagination.”

“I’m sure they’d like to have tea with you.”

From his smile and the sincerity in his voice, she could see he meant that. From the glimmers of desire in his eyes, she could also see that he found her attractive, and that was such a balm to her ego. “I was thinking of them having tea with you, along with their teddy bears and Barbie dolls.”

“Now, that’s a picture,” he admitted with a chuckle.

They found the hospital play set easily in the dollhouse section. Jared examined it, nodding as he did. “This is a good idea, Emily. I’m glad you suggested it.”

Emily’s cell phone began playing a lilting tune. She retrieved it from the outside pocket of her purse.

Jared took the tea set from her so she wouldn’t have to juggle it. When she checked the caller ID, she froze.

He studied the expression on her face and asked, “Emily?”

“It’s my ex-husband. I’d better take this.” Richard never called her. Since the divorce, they hadn’t had much communication, although there were still a few loose ends to tie up. She sent him a check every month. If he was calling, there would be a reason. And he wouldn’t stop calling until he got her. She knew her ex that well.

“Excuse me,” she said to Jared as she walked to the end of the aisle where she had better reception and some privacy.

After she answered, her ex-husband asked, “How are you doing, Em?”

She didn’t like the nickname, never had really. He hadn’t taken her seriously when she’d told him that. “I’m okay, but this isn’t a good time. Can I give you a call back later tonight?”

“You’re still at work?”

“No, I’m not.”

“On a date?”

Ever since their divorce, he hadn’t cared. Why would he now? “No, Richard. I’m shopping.”

“Well, it’s good to know you have enough money to do that. Low expenses in Sagebrush.”

“I’m getting by. I’m sharing a house and that helps.” She didn’t even know why she told him that except she wanted him to realize she didn’t have a lot left over at the end of the month. “So, why are you calling?”

“I need your signature on something.”

“What?” All of their belongings except two had been divided up.

“I want to sell the painting that’s hanging over the sofa, but your name’s on the provenance, too.”

The only property that hadn’t been completely settled was the painting and the boat, a thirty-six-foot sailing vessel that Richard used to impress clients. She wondered why he needed money, though. His salary had always covered their bills comfortably. They’d used her salary for her personal expenses and extras—parties, dinners out, half of the down payment on the boat.

“How do you want to handle selling the painting?” she asked, still mourning the loss of the relationship she’d begun with stars in her eyes, intending it to last forever.

“Do you have a fax?”

She didn’t, but Francesca did. “I can give you my roommate’s fax number.” She rattled it off.

“That’s great. I’ll fax the form over right away. Sign it and send it back to me by registered mail, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Thanks, Em.”

“No problem.”

The awkward silence vibrating on the line came from two people who didn’t know each other anymore, who maybe had never really known each other. “Take care,” he said as if he wanted to say more but didn’t know how.

“You, too.”

After she closed her phone, Jared approached her. “Is everything okay?”

“Fine. My ex needs my signature. We bought this painting together for the living room…” She stopped, a lump forming in her throat.

“Everything has a memory attached, doesn’t it?” Jared asked as if he knew.

She nodded, tucking her phone into its purse pocket, not meeting his gaze.

He set down everything he was holding onto the floor, then straightened, came very close and lifted her chin. “I was divorced, too, so I understand that even though a marriage is over, there are still remnants left of what it once meant.”

She wanted to tell him everything—about how Richard had turned away from her during the court proceedings, about how his lack of support had left her feeling so alone. But there would be so much to explain…so much Jared might not understand.

“Do you still love him?”

The answer seemed to be important to Jared. Why was he asking? Because he wanted her to be free of entanglements? To be free of her past? She didn’t know if she’d ever be free of that.

“The part of me that once loved him remembers what that was like. I wish him well. But no, I’m not still in love with him.”

Jared searched her face, perhaps not knowing if he could believe her words. Why would he doubt what she said? Unless someone had lied to him before?

The intensity of the moment passed as his hand slid from her chin. He picked up the play set and the tea set he’d set on the floor. “I think you should come over and show the girls all the aspects of the hospital that they might see. Explanations wouldn’t be too scary coming from you. I might be too clinical. What do you think?”

Her voice was soft with gratitude when she answered, “I think you’re trying to distract me from the call. Thank you. I’d love seeing your daughters again.”

“All right. Then maybe after you show them around the toy hospital, you can teach me the finer points of having a tea party.”

His dry voice made her smile. He would do anything for his daughters. With sudden realization, she knew she’d do anything for him.

Yet once before she’d placed a man’s concerns before hers. Once before she’d let Richard’s ambition and desires supersede hers. And when she’d needed him—

When she was with Jared, she had to remember her failed marriage. Otherwise he could break her heart and she wouldn’t be able to patch it up again.

Jared could have kicked himself for inviting Emily along home with him. Yet she had been good for his girls. And she’d looked so sad after her phone call.

Still, what about what was good for him?

For the past two years, he really hadn’t thought about himself. Amy and Courtney had needed him day and night. His career demanded his time day and night.

He’d been lonely after his divorce. And after Valerie died…

He’d been confused and in turmoil because she hadn’t confided in him. What kind of man was he that she couldn’t tell him the truth about her illness?

Since then he’d denied physical needs and fallen into bed exhausted every night. Work and spending time with the twins was like a numbing drug. He worked more and tried to meet their every need so he didn’t have to think about a life he didn’t have.

Yet why would he want a woman in his life again? Why would he want to complicate it? Why take the chance on a relationship that might not work out? He’d be putting Amy and Courtney at risk, too.

Still, as he stood in the kitchen supposedly pouring milk for Courtney and Amy while surreptitiously watching them with Emily, he knew life demanded more of him than work and child care.

Would sex be a start? Would an affair lead him to a life again?

The wind whistled against the house as he listened in on Emily’s conversation. She was on the floor with the twins in the great room.

Courtney asked her, “Are there people in every room?”

“Yes, there are.”

Jared watched Emily settle one of the dolls into the tiny bed.

She asked Amy, “Would you like to turn on the TV for this patient?”

Amy solemnly nodded.

Courtney pushed the miniature wheelchair into the patient’s room. “The lady in the other bed needs this.”

“Would you like to give her a name?”

Courtney thought about that. “Mrs…” She looked around the room and her eyes fell on a vase with silk flowers. “Mrs. Flower.”

“I like that name,” Emily encouraged her. Then she picked up another doll dressed in a white uniform. “The nurse is coming in to give her medicine.”

“Here’s the doctor,” Amy said proudly, picking up the next play figure. “Just like Daddy.”

Jared had to smile. Hopefully Amy and Courtney could visit his mom without too many fears, without being scared by what they saw. Emily was so good with his daughters. And when he kissed her, he felt arousal that he hadn’t experienced since his days at Texas Tech.

He took the glasses to the table along with cups of pudding, but he didn’t call them yet. Rather he went over to the sofa where they were playing by the coffee table with Emily.

“What do you think of the hospital?” he asked them.

He could feel Emily’s gaze on him and to his surprise, he liked the idea of her looking at him. There was respect in her eyes, maybe even admiration. Something else, too. That something else that made him want to kiss her whenever their eyes met.

“The hospital is big,” Courtney decided.

In reality, it wasn’t that big, only four floors, but to his daughters, the building would seem immense.

“You don’t have to worry about getting lost or anything like that. When we go see Grandma, you can hold on to me,” he assured her.

“And Emily.”

He hadn’t thought about Emily visiting his mother.

“Oh, I don’t think I’ll be going,” Emily said, glancing at him, making sure she didn’t overstep their working relationship or their friendship.

Friendship. Had he ever been friends with a woman?

Courtney ran to him, wrapped her little arms around him and looked up at him with big green eyes. “Daddy? Can Emily come, too?”

How could anyone say no to this beautiful child who had formed a bond with this woman who was caring enough to be a mother? Courtney liked Chloie, but she never responded to his cousin the way she responded to Emily. Neither did Amy.

Emily’s cheeks were flushed as if she were embarrassed and didn’t know what to say or do.

Stooping down, he lifted Courtney into his arms. “Can you tell me why you want Emily to come along? I’m sure she has a very busy schedule, so it has to be an important reason.”

Courtney bit her lower lip as she thought about what he’d asked. “I won’t be scared.”

Jared had the feeling that sometimes when his daughters were with him, they thought he’d be called away and they’d be left alone. He didn’t know how to counteract that. Apparently they felt more solid with Emily. That was a shocker.

“Why don’t you two have your milk and play and I’ll talk to Emily about it? Okay?”

Courtney nodded again, leaned toward him to give him a kiss on his cheek. Every one of those kisses was precious.

He carried her over to the table and settled her in one of the chairs, lifting the lid from her pudding. Amy ran over and he did the same for her. He left them jabbering about the hospital and patients.

Emily had risen from the floor. Tendrils of curls had come loose from her ponytail and wisped around her face. Her color was still a little high. He couldn’t seem to get enough of looking at her face, her sweetly curved lips, her long eyelashes that fringed her dark brown eyes and emphasized them.

“I don’t have to go along. I certainly don’t want to intrude on your time with your mother.”

His time with his mother was always strained. With the girls around, less so. Truth be told, he wondered what his mother would think of Emily, and vice versa.

“The girls seem to find a certain level of comfort and safety when you’re with them. I wouldn’t want to take that away from them in a strange setting. Are you busy tomorrow evening?”

“No, I’m not busy,” she admitted, realizing she didn’t have a social life outside of her friendships with Francesca and Tessa. “But are you sure you want me involved? Would your mom want a stranger around?”

“I don’t know what my mother will or won’t want. I do know I’ll keep the visit short. I don’t want to overtire her, and the girls can be a handful when they get excited and start asking questions. That’s where I think you’d be a big help. You have a calming effect on them.”

“If I can help, I’d be glad to come along. But if for some reason your mother doesn’t want any other visitors, I can wait out in the hall, or visit the nursery again.”

He remembered too well the day he’d transferred Leanne Martin’s baby to Emily’s arms. She would make a wonderful mother. He could imagine her pregnant, getting larger with child each month.

Oh, no, he wasn’t going there. He might be considering a night of hot sex, but a minister and wedding bells weren’t on his agenda. He’d done that once. He’d been a lousy husband and back then, not a very good father. He’d been building his practice, and he’d left the needs of his infants to Valerie.

If he had it all to do over again, what would he change?

He didn’t know. Valerie’s distaste of his being called away had always caused problems between them. But those problems had turned into resentment on both their sides, and that colored everything they had done and said.

He could have done it differently. He should have been more understanding.

Valerie had received her diagnosis and decided she knew best—that he and the twins shouldn’t be with her in her last days. If he’d been a better husband…if he’d been more understanding…then maybe she would have trusted him to be with her through it all. Even at the end.

“Jared.” Emily looked concerned as if she’d asked him a question and he hadn’t heard her.

“Do you want to go to the hospital as soon as we’re finished for the day?”

“That would probably be best.”

She studied him more closely. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I was just considering what type of father I would be if I were in a different profession.”

“Do you really think changing your career would make you a different kind of dad?”

She had a point there. “I’d have more time to give them.”

She looked as if she wanted to say something, but was hesitating to say it.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.” The one truth he’d learned in his life was that honesty avoided much heartbreak.

“I’m thinking that even if we had all the time in the world, we wouldn’t have enough time. It’s more important that you don’t waste a minute of the time you have with them. If you’re really present to them, if you care about what they’re doing, that’s what matters.”

Jared suddenly realized that that was the reason his daughters liked being with Emily. When she was with them, she was with them. Nothing interfered with her concentration on them, and they felt special because of it.

He moved closer to her, thinking about the call she’d received from her ex-husband. The few things she’d told him had led him to believe her ex hadn’t appreciated her at all. He glanced over at his twins and saw they were still occupied with the pudding and each other.

Letting his hand rest lightly on Emily’s shoulder, he asked her, “Why didn’t you have babies when you were married?”

She looked away and then back at him. “I wanted them. Richard wanted to wait until we were financially secure.”

“And that day never came,” he guessed.

“No, it didn’t.” She didn’t elaborate, though he wished she would. Maybe in time.

Had he decided to spend more time with her for reasons other than his daughters?

Since Emily didn’t elaborate about her marriage, he asked anyway, “What finally broke the two of you up? Usually there’s that straw that breaks the camel’s back.”

For a moment, Emily looked absolutely trapped. Her face drained of some of its color. What could have been so horrible that she’d have this reaction?

“Emily?” He slid his hand under her hair and stroked her neck.

“There wasn’t just one thing,” she finally said. “He asked for a divorce and I knew…I knew we didn’t have anything left.”

What she was telling him could be true. But he suspected there was more. He could see it in the turmoil in her big brown eyes. Was Emily keeping secrets from him, too? And if she was, what was he going to do about it?

He heard the scrape of a chair on the wooden floor and the pitter-patter of Amy’s sneakers as she ran over to him. She never seemed to walk anywhere.

“Can Emily read us a story before we go to bed?”

He stepped away from Emily, closer to his daughter. What did he really know about Emily Diaz? He knew what she’d given him in her résumé. He knew what her references had told him. Yes, she was a kind, compassionate woman who could relate to kids. And from his reaction to her, she turned him on in a way a woman hadn’t in a very long time.

But did he know the essence of her? Did he know what made her tick? He suddenly wondered why she’d had to travel across the state to start a new life here…so far away from her husband.

The prize-winning question was—did he want the answers to all of his questions, or did he want to just concentrate on his daughters and his profession without muddying up his life with an affair?

“I think we’ve taken up enough of Emily’s time. She has a roommate who hasn’t seen much of her lately, and I’m sure she has things to do at home, too. Did you finish your milk?”

Amy nodded.

“Great. As soon as Courtney’s finished, you can try to put your pajamas on all by yourselves.”

Then he turned back to Emily and gestured to the play set on the floor. “Thank you for taking the time to find that with me and to play with them.” His voice was more formal than he wanted it, but he had to draw a line in the sand.

He saw a flicker of hurt in Emily’s eyes. He hated that. But he had to consider what he was doing very carefully. He had to make sure he made the right decisions this time for both his daughters…and himself.

Emily’s shoulders squared a little as she told Amy, “Your dad’s right. I have to be going. But I’ll see you tomorrow evening.”

Her purse was lying on the end table beside the sofa. She picked it up quickly and threw the strap over her shoulder. Then she stepped around the play set, crouched down before Amy and gave her a hug. Afterward, she headed for Courtney and did the same.

Jared walked Emily to the door. But he didn’t touch her, and he definitely didn’t kiss her good-night.

Emily had questions in her eyes as she said good-night and left.

But he didn’t have any answers.