Читать книгу The Midwife's Glass Slipper / Best For the Baby - Karen Rose Smith, Ann Evans - Страница 14

Emily felt like an outsider the following evening as she walked beside Jared to his mother’s hospital room. Courtney clutched Stardust under one arm as she held her father’s hand. Amy had a grip on Emily’s. She was sure his daughters wanted her here, but she wasn’t sure at all that he did. She took a firmer grasp on the two bouquets of flowers she carried for the twins.

Outside the door, Jared leaned close, his breath warm on her ear as he assured her, “We don’t have to stay long. In fact it would probably be better for my mother if we don’t. I don’t want the girls to tire her out.”

The solemn expression on Jared’s face, as well as his rigid bearing, told Emily the girls might not be the only reason he didn’t want to stay long.

Emily handed a bouquet to Courtney and one to Amy.

Courtney held Emily’s hand a little tighter as they neared the bed.

Gloria Madison pressed the control that raised her head so she was in a sitting position. She was a beautiful older woman with thick steel-gray hair that lay in soft curls around her face. Her eyes were green like Jared’s and she was smiling at her granddaughters. “Come here, darlings. I’ve missed you.”

“We brought these for you,” Courtney said, giving her grandmother the flowers in her hand. Amy did the same.

Gloria bent and smelled them—carnations, daisies and roses. “How pretty! Thank you so much for bringing them. They’ll brighten up my room.” Her gaze went to her son. “I see you brought a reinforcement. Are you going to introduce us?”

“This is Emily Diaz. She works at the practice with me and has been helping with the twins. They wanted her to come along. Emily, my mother, Gloria Madison.”

Emily went over to the bed and extended her hand. “It’s so nice to meet you. The twins have been worried about you. They needed to see you were recovering.”

“Did you convince my son to let them come?”

“It was his decision.” Emily spotted an empty vase sitting on the windowsill. “Why don’t I put some water in this and arrange the flowers for you?”

Jared removed folded pieces of paper from his shirt pocket. He gave them to Courtney and Amy. “They drew pictures for you, too.”

Both Amy and Courtney opened up the folded pieces of paper, explaining to their grandmother what they had drawn. Their childish chatter filling the room brought a huge smile to Gloria’s face.

While she chatted with her granddaughters, Emily slipped into the bathroom and filled the vase with water. She was arranging the flowers when Jared stepped inside.

Instead of turning around, she sought his gaze in the mirror. He was standing behind her, tall and broad-shouldered, in a striped oxford shirt and casual slacks. She remembered his last kiss and being held in his arms. She wanted him to touch her and he looked as if he’d like to. But he kept a foot between them.

When she turned around to face him, that foot of separation disappeared. She just waited, their attraction for each other thrumming between them.

“Will you be all right here for a few minutes?” he asked. “I’d like to check on a patient.”

“Sure. I’ll be fine.”

Cocking his head, he asked, “Are you always fine?”

“I try to be. I believe if I act as if I’ve got a handle on everything, then maybe I will.”

“You’re an optimist.”

“You’re just learning that?” she joked.

“Yes, I am.” His silence said he was learning other things, too.

There was a glint in his eye, a spark of desire, the recognition that their attraction wasn’t going to go away because they wanted it to. She found herself responding to it. Her heart was pounding and a butterfly did a flip in her stomach.

Finally Jared said huskily, “I won’t be long.” Then he left the bathroom, explained to his mother where he was going and strode down the hall.

Although she didn’t know why, Emily felt shaken by their exchange. They were coming closer and closer to something inevitable. What? Confronting their attraction? Doing more with it? Yet Jared didn’t want involvement.

She shouldn’t get involved with a man who had walls around his heart. She was asking for heartache if she did.

Running the cold water, she took a paper towel and held it to her cheeks. Then she picked up the vase with the flowers and returned to Gloria. The older woman eyed her thoughtfully as Emily set the flowers on the windowsill.

Amy and Courtney had settled into a chair together with a magazine on their laps. It was one of those country magazines with pictures of farms and children and animals. They chatted to each other about them and then showed them to their grandmother. Once they were intrigued again by a picture of a huge dog in the magazine, Gloria laid her head against the pillow. “Jared doesn’t trust many people with his daughters. He must think highly of you.”

“I work with Jared as an obstetrical nurse practitioner. I hope he respects the work I do and knows what kind of person I am.”

“Oh, I think he knows.”

Emily’s attention went from the girls, who were studying a wagon filled with pumpkins, to Jared’s mother.

Emily didn’t say anything, though. If Jared’s mom had something she wanted to tell her, Emily would give her the opportunity.

“I think he’s interested in you, and you like him,” Gloria suggested.

What should she say? What could she say? After all, Jared’s daughters were right there. Children had great hearing and long memories.

Something about his mother’s intent green gaze made honesty essential between them. “We don’t really know each other very well. In fact—” She stopped, realizing she was about to say too much.

“In fact?” Gloria urged her on. “There’s a lot about me that Jared doesn’t know, just as I’m sure there’s a lot I don’t know about him.”

“Time could take care of that,” his mother assured her.

“Possibly.”

Gloria appraised her for a few more moments. “My son has walled himself off to everyone but his daughters until now. When he looks at you, I see a change in him that wasn’t there before.”

Emily couldn’t help but ask, “What kind of change?”

“Curiosity, appreciation, possibility. A small crack where a little bit of light is glimmering through. He needs a personal life. He hasn’t had one since his marriage.”

“I don’t think he wants one,” Emily admitted.

“You could be right. On the other hand, the crackle I see between the two of you might be bigger than both of you.”

Crackle. Sizzle. Sexual chemistry. Even if they had that, did Emily want an affair? She’d never had affairs. She’d had one serious relationship—with Richard.

She had so much baggage. Sending a check to Richard every month was a responsibility she took seriously. It would take her years to cover the money he’d siphoned from his pension. What man would want to take that on? Not to mention the way Jared might feel when he knew the circumstances behind her legal bills.

“How old are you?” Gloria asked.

“I’m thirty-two.”

“Have you ever been married?”

“Yes, I’m divorced.” She expected to see judgment in Gloria’s eyes, maybe disapproval. To her surprise, she didn’t see either.

“And Jared is forty-three, also divorced. I imagine you both have history that needs to be put to rest.”

“Sometimes history can’t be put to rest.” Not when it was ongoing, Emily thought…not when she felt as if she had to hide it.

“Would you do something for me, Emily?”

“What?”

“If you have feelings for Jared, don’t give up on him if he seems to push you away.”

Courtney suddenly scrambled off the chair and placed the magazine into her grandmother’s lap. “See the horse? I want to ride a horse.”

“Me, too,” chimed in Amy.

Emily was glad for the interruption.

While the girls chatted with their grandmother again, she had time to think about their conversation. The last thing she’d expected to find in west Texas was romance. Yet Jared was the type of man she’d always dreamed of meeting someday. He was sexy and caring and a wonderful dad.

There were so many things he didn’t know about her.

When Jared returned to the room a short time later, Emily was sitting in the chair with Courtney on her lap. Amy was standing at her grandmother’s bed, singing a song she’d learned in preschool.

Emily noticed Jared stop in the doorway, taking in the scene. His gaze was gentle as it rested on his daughters. But when it settled on his mother, he frowned and a distant look came into his eyes. Emily had noticed that same distance in his tone when he mentioned his mom, and couldn’t help but wonder what had caused it. Gloria Madison seemed to be a kindly, friendly woman. What had transpired between mother and son to cause resentment? Was that what Jared felt toward his mother?

Crossing to Gloria’s bed, he said, “I think two little girls are more than ready for bed.”

“We’re not sleepy, Daddy,” Courtney told him, and then yawned.

He laughed. “Even if you’re not sleepy, Grandma needs her rest, too.”

“It was so good to see you.” Gloria gave both Amy and Courtney hugs. To Emily she said, “I’ll be going to a rehab facility tomorrow, but I’d love to see you again.”

“I enjoyed talking to you. I’ll visit you if I can.” The truth was, Emily had missed her mother ever since she’d lost her. And Gloria with her kindness and honest observations was someone Emily would like in her life.

Ten minutes later, Emily sat in Jared’s sedan beside him as he pulled into the driveway at his home. Courtney had fallen asleep in her car seat and Amy was almost there.

“I can help you get the girls to bed,” she offered, not ready to leave him yet, feeling more and more drawn to Amy and Courtney.

“When I bring them home alone and they fall asleep, I have to wake them up. I don’t like to leave one of them in the car while I take the other inside.”

“I can understand that.”

“On the other hand, I don’t want you to feel obliged that you have to do anything.”

“I don’t feel obliged. When we’re not at work, Jared, you’re not my boss. We’re just two people. If you’re afraid you’re taking advantage of me, you’re not. I want to be here.”

She felt him studying her in the darkness.

“All right. Let’s take them inside.”

As Emily carried Amy and Jared carried Courtney, she felt a closeness to him. They didn’t seem to need words to establish understanding. It was almost as if words would muddle up the connection they had. Yet Emily knew the time was coming when she’d have to tell him everything about her. That idea scared her.

Emily helped Jared change the girls into their nightclothes, feeling motherly. She liked the feeling. After she pulled Amy’s sheet up to her chin, she kissed her on the forehead. It just seemed the natural and right thing to do. Jared did the same with Courtney. Both girls curled on their sides, Courtney with Stardust, Amy with a favorite teddy bear.

Emily and Jared walked down the hall into the great room. There she said, “I’d better go. We both have early days tomorrow.”

Jared approached her and rested his hands on her shoulders. “You’ve been a great help ever since my mom’s accident.”

“You didn’t want me to go along tonight, though, did you?”

“You made the visit easier for Amy and Courtney. But, no, I guess I didn’t want you to get more involved in my life.”

Her expression must have shown the hurt she felt at his words.

He grimaced. “That didn’t come out right.”

“I think it did.”

“Emily, damn it all,” he swore. “Every time I’m near you, I want to kiss you. In the hospital bathroom I wanted to tug you into my arms. Damn it,” he said again, his arms enfolding her. “I’ve wanted to do this all night.” He bent his head to hers and kissed her.

Their lips melded together. His tongue invaded her mouth. He was hungry, demanding, possessive. This time, he didn’t restrain his need and she responded to it, seeking the strokes of his tongue, kissing him back for all she was worth.

He backed her up to the sofa and they fell onto it, holding on to each other, breaking the kiss and coming back for more.

Emily liked everything about being with Jared. She loved touching him. She loved the feel of her fingers laced in his thick hair. She loved exploring the taut skin at his neck.

Jared groaned and slid his hands under her top. When his thumbs found her nipples and teased them through her bra, she thought she’d explode. She was lost in what they were when they were together like this. But he must have been aware of reality all along…because he let his hands drop away and slip out from under her top.

Moments later he tore his lips from hers and muttered, “We’ve got to stop.”

“Why?” She couldn’t believe she asked it, but she needed to know.

He looked sad as he stroked her face and pushed wayward curls from her forehead. “Because we don’t want to make a mess of each other’s lives.”

She opened her eyes and stared into his. “Why are you so sure that would happen?”

“I just am.”

“No, I don’t think you’re sure. You just don’t want to open yourself up to the possibility. You’ve been hurt and you don’t want to take the chance that will happen again. I’ve been hurt, too, Jared. And yes, the possibility of getting hurt again scares me. But I feel a connection to you.”

“A connection…or an attraction?” he asked bluntly.

“Both. Don’t you feel both?”

“Right now, I only know what my body’s telling me. You’re a sexy woman and I haven’t touched a woman since my marriage ended. That’s a pretty powerful driving force. I’m not going to let it drive me to do something we’ll both regret.”

She pushed herself up from the sofa. “Don’t think for me, Jared, and don’t make decisions for me. If you want to back off for your own reasons, that’s fine. But don’t make the mistake of thinking you know what’s going on in my head.” Or in my heart, she added to herself.

He stood now, too, but she didn’t want to see the look in his eyes that told her he thought this was all about sex.

She grabbed her purse from the coffee table where she’d dropped it and headed for the door.

“Emily…”

“I’ll see you at work tomorrow, Jared. At least there, we know exactly how to treat each other. We know exactly what we have to do.”

She left Jared’s house, his mother’s words echoing in her head. Don’t give up on him if he seems to push you away.

To do that, she’d have to be more vulnerable than she’d ever been before. She wasn’t sure being that vulnerable was a risk she wanted to take.

“I’m going to tell Grady I’m pregnant tonight,” Francesca said the next evening. Emily had just walked in the door as her friend was getting ready to go out.

“Where are you meeting him?” Emily asked, assessing Francesca’s western-cut tan pantsuit. Her long, straight brown hair curved over her shoulder. She looked fabulous.

“At the saddle shop.”

“Alone?”

“Hopefully. This isn’t the kind of news I’d want to give him in public. The only thing is—”

“Are you afraid something else will happen?” Emily guessed, and when her friend’s cheeks turned red, she knew she’d guessed correctly.

“I don’t want a relationship, Emily. I’m not ready for one. And things would never work out between us. We’re much too different.”

Emily wondered how many times her friend had told herself that and if she was using it as an excuse. Francesca was just downright afraid to get involved with a man again.

Francesca checked her watch. “I should be going, but tell me how things went with you and Jared today. You were upset when you came home last night.”

“He was at the hospital most of the day. I didn’t see him. Maybe that’s good.”

“Is it?”

“I don’t know. When did life get so complicated?”

Francesca shook her head. “When chemistry turned into more than a science experiment. See you later.”

Emily had to smile at her friend’s assessment of the situation. She took off her jacket and was about to hang it in the closet when the telephone rang. Crossing to the cordless phone beside the sofa, she picked up the handset and checked the caller ID. It was Jared.

“Hello,” she said, not knowing what to expect.

“Emily, it’s Jared.”

“I know.”

“What would we do without caller ID?” he teased lightly. “At least you picked up. That’s a good sign.”

“A good sign for what?”

The silence on his end almost made her wish she hadn’t asked. Then he replied, “I’ve been thinking about last night. I couldn’t get it off my mind all day.”

She waited.

“You were right. There is a connection between us and I’m not sure it’s one I want.”

“That’s why you called?”

She heard him blow out a breath. “I’m not doing this very well. Just let me say I’m not calling because I need help with the girls.”

“I don’t mind helping you, Jared.”

“I know. But now I’d like to do something that doesn’t involve them.”

Was he going to ask her on a date? “Like what?”

“There’s a charity banquet and dance at the Rayburn Hotel on Saturday evening.”

“Yes, I know. I was planning to go with friends.”

“How would you like to go with me instead?”

Actually, she’d been planning to tag along with Vince and Tessa.

“Would your friends mind if you changed your plans?” he cut in before she could think it through.

“No, I don’t suppose they would. I’d been planning to sit with Tessa Rossi and her husband, Vince. Maybe the four of us could share a table, unless you had something else in mind.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“If you’d rather sit with Dr. Pratt or Dr. Layman…” Those were the two men who shared Jared’s practice.

“Larry Pratt isn’t going, and Tom is sitting with the hospital board. The thing is, Emily, I’m not asking you because this is a hospital function.”

“Why are you asking me?” she inquired softly, not wanting to put him on the spot but needing to know.

“I’d like to spend some time with you alone, away from my daughters, away from the practice. I realized—” He stopped. “I realized what I said last night might have hurt you, and I never meant to do that. Although it’s no excuse, I haven’t had a personal life for a long time.”

“So this is a date?”

“Yes, it’s a date. Are you accepting?”

“I’m accepting.”

“Good.”

She thought she could hear a smile in his voice. Thank goodness she had the rest of the week to think about what to wear. She might have to go shopping!

“That’s settled, then. Dinner starts at eight. I’ll pick you up around seven fifteen. Is that okay?”

“That’s fine.”

“I’m glad you’re going with me, Emily. I really mean that.”

“I’m glad I’m going, too.”

After he said good-bye and hung up, Emily couldn’t keep from smiling. In fact, she felt like singing. She was definitely going to wait up for Francesca tonight and tell her her news.

Francesca knocked at the door of the saddle shop, her palms sweating. Grady had told her to come around back and park there in the small lot. It was well-lit. She wasn’t afraid of getting mugged.

What was she afraid of?

Seeing Grady again? Feeling the attraction that had tumbled them into intimacy? Here was where it had happened—in his office on the blue-denim couch.

Pushing the images out of her head, she knocked sharply on the door again. There was a dim light inside, a brighter one to the right…in his office.

He opened the door and one look into his deep blue eyes told her he, too, was remembering everything that had happened here. He had coal-black hair that she had run her fingers through. He had broad shoulders that had felt so muscled under her hands. He had a stubbled jaw and that stubble had felt—

“Come on in,” he invited her with a Texas drawl that should have seemed ordinary, but wasn’t.

Her mouth went as dry as the west Texas dirt.

She followed him inside, inhaling the scents of leather, wood, other materials he used for his custom-made saddles. She didn’t pay any attention to the worktables, the bench that Grady had told her his dad had handcrafted for him. Rather she followed Grady into that small lit room.

He went behind his desk and sat in the high-back chair. She didn’t sit in one of the chairs in front of the desk. Instead she stayed standing. “I won’t take up much of your time.”

He leaned back, making the chair squeak. “Take all the time you want. I’m not really thrilled with returning to the bookwork program on my computer.”

To Grady’s right, a cursor blinked on a ledgerlike screen.

There was no point in making small talk. That wasn’t why she had come. “I’m pregnant.”

The two words hung suspended in the air between them.

“Are you saying the baby’s mine?”

She had never imagined he’d doubt that when she told him. “Of course the baby’s yours. You’re the only man I’ve slept with in a year. But if you don’t believe me, then we don’t have anything to talk about.” She turned, ready to leave, almost eager to leave.

But Grady shot out of his desk chair, was around his desk, and grabbing her elbow. “Hold on there. It was just a question.”

Gazing into his eyes, she realized it was a question he’d had to ask. After all, they didn’t know each other.

“We used a condom,” she said lamely, knowing that form of contraception was usually reliable but not foolproof.

Grady sighed and rubbed his hand across his forehead. “Yes, we did, but it was a condom I’ve had in my wallet for a while.”

“It could have broken?”

“Possibly. Or you could have gotten pregnant before I put it on.”

She felt heat crawl into her cheeks. There had been foreplay—teasing foreplay as she’d never experienced before.

Completely aware of his hand on her arm, the tingles dancing up and down, she pulled out of his grasp and had to make something clear. “I don’t want anything from you, Grady. We’d already decided seeing each other again would be a mistake. This doesn’t change that.”

“The heck it doesn’t.” His drawl had become more pronounced with each word. “I’m going to want a DNA test after the baby’s born.”

Her heart lurched. She did not want a relationship, especially not with a man who couldn’t trust. The idea of getting involved again, getting penned up, trapped, controlled, almost made her panic.

He must have seen the look in her eye because he asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I’m going to have this child and raise this child and love this child. But that doesn’t mean you and I have to be…connected.”

“What has you so spooked? You weren’t like this that night.”

No, she wasn’t. That night had been full of wonder and impulse. When she’d met Grady, the chemistry between them had been so strong she hadn’t thought about the next day or a week from that night.

“I’m not spooked. I just don’t want to be involved.”

“You are spooked. You’re afraid I’ll do something you don’t want me to do. So why did you tell me?”

“You had the right to know. Sagebrush is a small town.”

“And I could put have two and two together easily if I saw you pregnant and figured out the dates.”

“Yes,” she admitted, wanting to turn from his probing blue eyes but unable to do so.

His voice lowered…was gentle yet more intense. “You’re not going to cut me out of the baby’s life. If I’m a dad, I’m going be a dad. Do you understand that, Francesca?”

She went cold inside from the thought of him wanting any kind of control, and licked her dry lips. “What does that mean?”

“It means I want to spend time with my son or daughter. I want to have a say in decisions. I want to act like a real parent. I’ve looked forward all my life to being a dad. I’m not going to let the opportunity slip away.”

Grady came from a large family, a loving family, and she should have realized he’d feel this way.

“Don’t look so scared, Frannie. I’m not going to try to take custody away from you, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

She didn’t know what she was thinking. No one had ever called her Frannie.

“I’m not scared,” she returned defensively, squaring her shoulders. “I’m just worried you’ll want to tell me what to do and that’s not going to happen.”

He eyed her assessingly. “I guess we really don’t know each other, do we? One night on the sofa doesn’t a couple make.”

“No, it doesn’t. And we’re not a couple.”

He let a few pounding heartbeats pass before he asked, “When are you due?”

“February twenty-seventh.”

“What are you going to do about your practice?”

“I haven’t figured everything out yet. I’ve only known a short while.”

He cocked his head. “Did you think about not telling me and moving away from Sagebrush?”

She was hoping her guilt didn’t show.

“You did, didn’t you?” he accused. Then calmly he asked, “What made you decide to stay and not run?”

“I’m not a coward. I have a life here. I’m not going to let any man make me give up what I’m building.”

He slid his hands into the back pockets of his jeans—as if maybe he wanted to do something else with them—and continued to study her. “So what do you suggest we do?”

“I’d like you to give me time—the length of my pregnancy—to figure some things out.”

A line creased his brow and he didn’t seem to like the idea. Yet he asked, “You’ll call me when the baby’s born?”

She nodded.

His strong jaw set and his mouth formed a tight line. “I have one condition.”

“What?”

“You e-mail me a report every time you go to the doctor just to let me know everything’s okay.”

For some reason, she didn’t quibble. She didn’t see the condition as manipulation. Grady was asking her to communicate with him and it didn’t have to be in a personal way, just in the form of a report. She could do that.

“All right,” she agreed. “That won’t be a problem.”

“Have you been to see a doctor yet?” he asked.

“Yes, yesterday. Dr. Jared Madison’s my doctor. Every other month, I’ll see his obstetrical nurse practitioner. She’s my roommate, Emily Diaz. When I hit the third trimester, I’ll see him.”

Grady reached over to his desk and picked up a card from the holder there. He turned it around and jotted something on the back. Then he handed it to her. “My e-mail address is on the front. My cell phone number’s on the back. If you need anything—”

“I won’t, Grady. Really.”

“When you go into labor, I want to know.”

“When I go into labor? Why?”

“Because I want to be with you. I want to anticipate this baby being born and be there when he or she is. I mean it, Frannie. Don’t deny me that right.”

Remembering the night they’d spent together—his passion, tenderness and hunger, she assured him, “I won’t,” controlling her voice so it wouldn’t tremble. Then she tucked his card into her purse and turned to leave.

He followed her to the door.

After he’d opened it for her, he suggested, “I want you to think about the benefit of a child having two parents rather than one. I know it won’t be easy to do, but we’re smart people. We should be able to figure it out.”

She’d have six and a half more months to figure this out, thank goodness. She had a feeling she was going to need every day of those six and a half months to decide how she could coparent with Grady without being involved with him. Getting involved when she was actually ready for it wouldn’t be easy. Getting involved in this situation would be sheer lunacy.

As she said good-bye and left, she realized she liked having a nickname for the first time in her life…and she liked the sound of that nickname on Grady Fitzgerald’s lips.