Читать книгу Launching Your Autistic Youth to Successful Adulthood - Katharina Manassis - Страница 14

Unfortunately, there is no “quick fix” to help youth on the autism spectrum achieve their full potential in adulthood. If there were, this book would be unnecessary. It takes time and effort (yours, your child’s, and other concerned adults’) to reach a satisfactory outcome. The next chapter describes what might constitute “satisfactory” in each case. In my own journey with my son, I was getting quite discouraged until I remembered something: when he started school, it took five years to find a program where he felt accepted and was actually able to learn. Why should the more complex transition from school to adulthood be faster?

To maintain some hope and equanimity during this challenging time, a few further thoughts may be helpful. First, some things are beyond your control. In particular, you may not be able to control the achievement of milestones which require commitment on the part of other people. With some effort, you can probably find consultants or short-term ASD-focused programs targeting employment skills, adjustment to college, social skills, and so on. Unfortunately, a brief consultation or a few months in a program will not help your youth weather the storms of adult life, and is rarely a long-term solution. Parents need partners who can follow the young adult’s progress long term so that gains are maintained or increased over time. Case managers, doctors, therapists, employers, employment counselors, educators, mentors, social workers, close friends (yours and your youth’s), and family can all be important partners. However, the commitment required to be such a partner is rare, and you cannot force it. Chapter 8 discusses how to connect with such helpful supports.

Second, set high expectations but be prepared for disappointment. If you don’t aim high, there will always be doubt about whether or not your youth could have achieved more. If you do, at least you know you and your youth gave it your best effort. At the same time, your autistic youth will likely face limitations which can compromise goals set initially. For example, your youth may face sensory overload if asked to work in a busy or noisy environment full-time. Part-time work or work in calmer surroundings may be a necessary compromise. Similarly, concurrent medical issues such as seizures or mental health problems may interfere with achieving all that was originally envisioned. Moreover, you may not have the time, money, or energy to do all that would be ideal to help with your youth’s transition to adulthood. Achieving goals such as securing employment or developing independence skills may be costly, require a high time commitment, or both. Supporting them may not be feasible unless you are wealthy, retired, and have few other family responsibilities. Accepting limitations does not imply giving up on goals, but rather modifying goals to ones that can reasonably be pursued in your circumstances.

Lastly, avoid comparisons and focus on small steps forward. One of the reasons why Figure 1.1 looks discouraging is that one naturally compares the two trajectories shown. If you look only at the ASD line and ignore the neurotypical line, it doesn’t look nearly as grim. Good track and field coaches will tell you to “run your own race” and focus on improving upon your personal best. The same advice is helpful when it comes to encouraging youth on the autism spectrum. They will be behind others in some areas and ahead in others, but that is not nearly as important as continued progress. Periodically review with your young adult all that they are doing this year and were not yet doing last year. This exercise is encouraging for parents and youth alike. Moreover, delight in your youth’s successes even if they are small by conventional standards. Celebrate the first time a shy, socially awkward youth sets up a trip to the movies with a friend. The first time a change-phobic youth asks to do a challenging task at work or at school, do the same. Our children may “march to their own drummer,” but they still put one foot in front of the other, and that is admirable!

Armed with a good understanding of transitional problems, we can now turn to specific solutions. Chapter 2 looks at an issue common to all solutions: working with your autistic youth towards common goals.

TAKE-HOME PEARLS

Before high school ends

• Build up factors associated with successful transition to adulthood: emphasize preparation, independent living skills, and positive expectations.

• Maintain a healthy skepticism. Many factors associated with a successful transition to employment or post-secondary education are not necessarily causal.

• Find an experienced case manager. Case management in adolescence is the only transitional intervention supported by large-scale, longitudinal study.

• Think about how to structure your youth’s day after high school ends, and explore potential post-secondary support services.

• Remember that youth on the autism spectrum with average or above average intelligence do not necessarily have an easy time with the transition to adulthood, and need support.

After high school ends

• Continue working with your youth’s case manager and building up protective factors.

• Ask to have your youth sign a consent form authorizing your communication with service providers.

• Stay hopeful, be patient, and recognize that some outcomes, especially those dependent on others’ commitment, are beyond your control; aim high but be prepared to compromise; avoid comparing your youth with others; focus on small steps forward.