Читать книгу Launching Your Autistic Youth to Successful Adulthood - Katharina Manassis - Страница 21

Jim’s father: It’s been over a month since you saw one of your friends. Start making phone calls!

Alex’s father: Would you like some company next time you go to the movies? Who haven’t you seen in a while… Jason, Randy? Do you know how to reach him, or do you need a hand? What time might work? Can you take the bus or will you need a ride?

Who is more likely to get to the movies with a friend, Jim or Alex, and why? Jim’s father starts by pointing out his son’s failure to achieve his goal. This puts Jim in a bad mood right away. Then, he orders Jim to make phone calls, with no regard for his son’s desire for autonomy (e.g. he might want to make the phone calls later, at a more convenient time) or for the possibility that using the phone may be difficult for him. Autistic youth often find the telephone a difficult communication medium, as it relies on the ability to generate friendly conversation (typically not their strong suit) and recognizing the speaker’s intent by tone of voice (another weakness for many on the autism spectrum). The possibility of someone other than Jim’s friend answering the telephone (e.g. the friend’s parent) makes the situation even more daunting. Making small-talk with friends’ parents is far beyond the abilities of most youth with ASD. When Jim balks at his Dad’s suggestion, his father may wrongly assume that Jim is being defiant or simply lacks initiative. As the order to make phone calls does not invite further discussion, Jim’s father will never know his son’s true motivations.

By contrast, Alex’s father assumes that his son can call a friend, but needs some help doing so. Therefore, he decides to “scaffold” the task for Alex. That is, he breaks the task into manageable pieces and then ascertains which pieces require help and which ones don’t. He begins by suggesting an activity which might be fun to do with a friend (i.e. going to the movies), assuming Alex may not necessarily think of it. He then suggests a choice of possible friends to call, making it easier to review the candidates and also implying that Alex will call someone (subtly coercive, but usually effective). Alex’s father then offers to either help with the phone call or respect his privacy, depending on his preference. Notice that Alex is not forced to confess any anxiety about the call, which might be embarrassing, as his father simply offers to help him reach the friend. This process could include anything from looking up the number, to dialing the number, to dealing with the friend’s parent (if that is who answers the call), to actually saying hello to the friend before passing the phone to Alex. Timing and transportation issues are also touched on, anticipating that Alex might need some help planning the event. If Alex has never taken the bus, he will probably ask for a ride. If he has some experience with the bus but is not confident using it, his father can offer to drive him to the theatre and then have him take the bus home. If Alex is confident, he can use the bus both ways, respecting his independence. Notice that Alex’s father includes several questions which invite his son to talk about his concerns, and also signal that his needs and preferences will be taken into account when planning the event.