Читать книгу Launching Your Autistic Youth to Successful Adulthood - Katharina Manassis - Страница 24

Note: the youth is now going to the fifth lesson.

George’s mother: Now remember to pack your wallet and your cellphone, and don’t forget your mittens. Be safe crossing the street! Remember to say hello to the teacher and smile. Don’t leave until she says it’s OK…oh, and call me on your cellphone if you have any problems whatsoever!

Tran’s mother: Say hello to Mrs. Franklin for me. See you later!

George’s mother would likely trigger a response of eye-rolling and groaning in her son. I know this, because I sometimes communicate this way, and so have experienced this reaction several times. When a goal is being pursued effectively, sometimes saying less is better. Parents who are overly solicitous or worried like George’s mother not only get tuned out by their youth, but also inadvertently undermine their confidence. Imagine how you would feel if you were George and had to listen to this long litany. You would probably think, “I must be pretty incompetent if I need all those reminders.”

Tran’s mother, by contrast, acknowledges her son’s ability to deal with Mrs. Franklin and implies that he will be fine, as his mother is expecting to see him later. What a great confidence-booster! This example serves as a reminder to limit discussion to the essentials. What to say may require some judgment, but once activities are being pursued successfully, less is more.