Читать книгу Launching Your Autistic Youth to Successful Adulthood - Katharina Manassis - Страница 30

As the examples illustrate, promoting independence requires avoiding blame and finding the right balance between involvement/advocacy and allowing your youth to learn from experience.

In addition, a problem-solving approach may be helpful. Problem-solving involves sitting down with your youth and facing a given challenge by generating as many solutions as possible together. After this brainstorming exercise, help them evaluate the pros and cons of each alternative, and then encourage what seems like the best alternative. Follow up afterwards to see how things went and problem-solve further if needed. This approach is described in more detail in my book Problem Solving in Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy: A Skills-Based, Collaborative Approach (Manassis 2012). The benefit of this approach is that it fosters resilience and independence (Cowen et al. 1997) by having youth think for themselves while you help them organize their thinking and plan ahead. Gradually, they learn to follow the problem-solving steps independently. Problem-solving may also benefit your own mental health, as parents of autistic youth who cope by focusing on solving problems report less stress and a higher quality of life than those using other strategies (Vernhet et al. 2019). Here is an example of combining a balanced approach, which includes both parents’ involvement and learning from experience, with problem-solving to promote independence.

MACY

Macy had severe learning disabilities and epilepsy as well as autism, but was able to attend a regular high school in a special class with the support of an educational assistant. Macy’s mother struggled with mental health issues, so she was raised by her grandparents. They adored Macy, but knew that she needed to learn to do many things without their help. At the beginning of high school, they consulted her special education teacher on how to further Macy’s independent learning. Based on the teacher’s advice, they enrolled her in courses which were challenging but consistent with her abilities, set up an organizer where upcoming assignments and tests were recorded, and set a regular homework time. They encouraged Macy to ask for help if needed, but expressed confidence that with effort she could do most of the work herself. She did. They used a similar approach when encouraging Macy to contact and see her friends.

When Macy was overwhelmed, they hugged her and encouraged slow breathing until she was calm. Then, they looked at the problem she was facing and asked, “What are some different things you could do?” They gave her a quarter for every idea to encourage her thinking, and then helped her select an idea that might work. Soon, Macy calmed down quickly when upset and started to think of more ideas. By the end of high school, she was making many decisions independently, including decisions related to her social life and vocational plans. She knew her grandparents were in her corner though, protecting her from any truly dangerous choices but otherwise praising her emerging autonomy.