Читать книгу Italian Maverick's Collection - Кейт Хьюит - Страница 51
Оглавление“WHAT’S GOING ON between you and Stefano?”
“Nothing.” Jules avoided meeting Lizzie’s inquisitive gaze as they sat on the living room floor of the villa. “Whatever you’re thinking, just let it go.”
Why did Lizzie have to pick today of all days to drive to the vineyard to help with the wedding details? Jules held back a yawn as she reached for the glue.
She didn’t want to lie to Lizzie about Stefano. But she didn’t know what to tell her sister because quite honestly she didn’t know what was going on herself. She’d been awake most of the night replaying everything between them. How could she explain something when she didn’t understand it herself?
After she and Stefano had made love, he’d kissed her goodbye and spent the rest of the day and evening at the winery. He said they were preparing for a wine-tasting event that weekend. She told herself that his absence meant nothing. That he was just taking care of his responsibilities.
But a nagging voice kept telling her that he was intentionally avoiding her. Instead of their lovemaking bringing them together, it had driven them apart. But why?
“There’s something going on between you.” It was on the tip of Jules’s tongue to deny it when Lizzie continued, “You aren’t falling for him, are you?”
Jules shook her head vehemently. “You don’t have to worry. Just because you found your Prince Charming doesn’t mean that I want the same thing.”
Lizzie straightened and eyed her from across the coffee table. “I know that it’s easy to get caught up in all of this wedding stuff and start to daydream about falling in love.”
Jules stopped gluing together another fan with the wedding program printed on it. “You don’t have to worry. Stefano has been nice and all, but my future isn’t here—”
“You’re right. I don’t know what got into me. You’re too smart to throw away your exciting future for anything or anyone.” Lizzie’s stiff posture eased. I’m just so proud of you for getting into grad school. You’ll see—the time will fly by.”
This was Jules’s opening—a chance to tell Lizzie that she’d had a change of heart. But she’d have to do it gently. She could tell Lizzie was already nervous about the wedding. “What if I didn’t go back to school?”
Lizzie’s head lifted. Her focus narrowed in on Jules. A long moment of silence passed, and then Lizzie smiled. “You know, you scared me. Don’t do that. For a moment, I thought that you were serious.”
Jules’s palms grew moist. “You make it sound like grad school is the only worthwhile option.”
“It is.” Lizzie leaned forward, her elbows resting on her knees. “I don’t understand. I thought this is what you wanted—what we’ve been working toward.”
“But what if I changed my mind?” She prayed Lizzie would understand. “What if I don’t have what it takes to get through the program?”
“So that’s what this is all about.” Lizzie leaned back and sighed. “Jules, you don’t have to worry. You’re going to do great. You’re the smartest person I know.”
“I’m not that smart.” Still it felt good knowing that her sister thought that highly of her.
“Smart enough to get honors in college and get accepted to your first-choice school. To me that’s very impressive. Just don’t stress yourself out. You can do anything you set your mind on.”
“But what if—”
“Lizzie, are you ready to go?” Dante strolled into the room, rubbing his hands together as though he was ready to hit the road.
“Yeah, I’m ready.” Lizzie put her supplies in a nearby box. “Did you remember to pack the recipes your aunt gave me?”
Dante nodded. “I got them.”
“And the photos your father gave me of when you were little.”
“I got those, too. Mind telling me what you plan to do with all of that stuff?”
Lizzie smiled up at him, and he just shook his head. “Well, you better get moving. We have to get ready for tomorrow’s filming, and I want to do some prep work tonight on the menu.”
Lizzie turned to Jules. “I’m sorry I can’t stay longer and help more.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve got this.”
“And make sure you ask my brother for help,” Dante told her as he offered Lizzie a hand to help her off the floor.
When Lizzie got to her feet, she leaned forward just as natural as could be and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. The look that passed between them spoke of their boundless love. Jules smiled. This just confirmed that all her hard work for the wedding was so worth it. This truly was her sister’s happily-ever-after.
Lizzie turned back to her. “I’m taking the rest of the fans with me to finish. And I have the heavy paper for the place cards. I’ll run them off on the printer in the office once we have a finalized guest list.”
Jules placed the rest of the programs in the box and closed the lid. “I don’t think you have to worry about that. My guess is everyone will attend. No one wants to miss the celebration.”
“You don’t think they’re all coming because it’s supposed to be filmed for television, do you?”
Dante wrapped an arm over his future wife’s shoulders. “My family is all about the celebrating and it has nothing to do with television.”
Lizzie gazed into Dante’s eyes. “I hope you’re right.”
“Trust me. They’re happy for us.”
Lizzie reached up and squeezed his hand.
“I wouldn’t trust him.” Stefano stepped into the room. “If there’s one thing I learned growing up with him, it is to be wary when he says ‘trust me,’ especially if it involves the last of the gelato.”
Dante smiled and turned to his brother. “Hey, I can’t help that you were so gullible.”
“What did you expect me to do when you said Papa was looking for me and to trust you that there’d be some gelato left when I returned?”
“See? You learned a valuable lesson—eat your gelato first.” Dante smiled broadly over the memory of outsmarting his older brother. “We’ve got to go.”
“Don’t worry.” Lizzie turned back to Jules. “Everything will work out.”
And with that Lizzie and Dante carried the wedding supplies out the door, leaving her alone with Stefano. He turned a puzzled face her way.
“What did she mean about everything working out?”
Jules shook her head and got to her feet. “It’s nothing.”
She turned her back to him and bent over, picking up her supplies. She wasn’t going to get into another discussion about her education. He’d probably side with Lizzie anyhow, and she didn’t need people ganging up on her. When were people going to trust her to make her own decisions?
He stepped forward and wrapped his hands around her shoulders, and turned her around to face him. “I know that something is bothering you. Did you tell her? You know, about us?”
“No. Why would you think that?”
“I don’t know. Women like to confide in each other, and I thought that you might have said something.”
“I wouldn’t know what to say.” Her frustration and insecurities came bubbling to the surface. “You and I never talked about what it meant. You’ve made yourself scarce since then.”
He arched a brow. “You make it sound like I’ve been hiding from you—”
“Haven’t you?” She dropped down on the couch, and he joined her.
“I’ve been busy. You know that.”
“Uh-huh.” He surely didn’t think she was going to buy that he didn’t have one spare moment to speak to her, did he?
“It’s the truth. There’s a wine-tasting event this weekend, and I’ve been helping my father nail down the details. But don’t change the subject. We were talking about what your sister said. What’s going to work out?”
Jules sighed. “I was trying to tell my sister that I’m not so sure that I still want to go to grad school.”
“And...”
“And she thinks I have cold feet. She’s certain I’ll get over it and things will go according to plan.”
“Is that how you feel?”
“No.” It was the truth, and she was tired of holding it all inside.
His tone softened. “Then talk to me. Tell me what’s on your mind.”
Maybe Lizzie wasn’t ready to hear what she was feeling, but Stefano genuinely seemed interested. And she felt as though she could confide in him. Maybe he’d surprise her and be in her corner.
“The truth is I no longer want to go to grad school.”
“That’s a big decision. What changed your mind?”
“Are you really interested?” She didn’t want to go on and on if he was only being polite.
His tone held a definite note of sincerity. “I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t interested.”
She leaned back on the couch and folded her hands in her lap. “I just finished a session as an intern with social services before I flew here.”
Then again, maybe she didn’t want to get into it all. Stefano was the picture of success. His winery was thriving. She’d been awed by all the awards he’d won. They were displayed in the wine-tasting room. His wine had worldwide recognition. He’d never understand failure. And she didn’t want him to think less of her.
“Jules, are you going to make me drag it out of you a little at a time?”
“No. Never mind. It’s not important.” She attempted to get up, but Stefano reached out to her.
“It is important.” His tone was filled with concern. “If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t be trying to tell your sister about it with the wedding so close. Since you can’t talk to her, talk to me. Maybe I can help.”
She glanced up at him and wanted to believe that he could actually understand. That he wouldn’t think less of her. Jules’s heart told her one thing, but her mind said the opposite. She decided to follow her heart.
Unable to look him in the eyes, she ducked her head. “I got fired from my position. Well, I don’t know if you can get fired from an internship, but I was asked not to return.”
There. It was out there. The embarrassing truth. She was a failure.
When Stefano didn’t say anything, she glanced up. In his eyes, she didn’t see any signs of judgment—just compassion.
“I’m sure there has to be more to the story than that. What aren’t you telling me?”
“I...I couldn’t do things the way they wanted. The kids...they needed someone in their corner. And I couldn’t stand by and say nothing. When I spoke up one too many times, the supervisor determined I wasn’t suited for the position.”
“Sounds to me like you were just following your heart.”
“But don’t you see, I can’t do that type of work. I can’t follow their rules and regulations blindly when they just don’t make sense in every case. I know the rules are there for a reason, but sometimes exceptions need to be made.”
“Did you ever think that you’re letting your injured ego override everything else? You could help so many kids. I agree with your sister. You need to keep going and get your degree. Maybe you can bring about change to the system.”
Why did she ever think that opening up to him would be a good idea? He wasn’t any different from her sister. Sure, it hurt getting fired. No matter how nicely the woman at the office stated it, a firing was a firing. She was certain there were other occupations that she could be just as good at or better.
But switching her focus made her feel as though she were copping out somehow. And she didn’t want to turn her back on those kids who didn’t have a voice. She wanted to do her part, but how could she do that without compromising who she was and what she believed in? She’d never be a yes-girl.
Guilt chewed at her as she considered doing something other than being a social worker. Why the guilt? Was it projected on her from her sister and now Stefano? She didn’t know, but she sure wanted to figure it out. And she’d do it on her own, without his input or her sister’s. This was a choice only she could make.
“Maybe you’re right,” she said. When he smiled broadly as though he’d just solved the world’s economic crisis, she added, “But maybe you’re not. That’s why I haven’t pressed the subject with Lizzie. I want to be sure before I get into it with her.”
“And that’s why what happened between us can’t happen again.”
Jules forced her mouth closed as a hundred thoughts struck her all at the same time. “You think me changing my mind about grad school is somehow related to us making love?”
“I think that you don’t know what you want in life, and I don’t want to confuse matters. It isn’t like I can offer you anything serious. I’ve done that, and it didn’t work out. You’re still young. You have your whole future ahead of you.”
A future without him. The thought tore through her, making the backs of her eyes sting. She blinked. He was right. They didn’t have a future, but it had nothing to do with her being young or his first marriage ending. It had to do with her not being wife and mother material. Maybe he realized that, too, but didn’t want to point it out.
Jules sucked in a steadying breath. “You’re right. I have my whole future ahead of me. And right now that consists of creating the most amazing wedding for my sister.”
She got to her feet and started for the door. No matter his reason for rejecting her and their lovemaking, it still hurt. She didn’t want him to see how much it bothered her.
“This isn’t how I meant for things to go between us.” His voice was gentle and thick as honey. “Don’t go away mad.”
“Just go away,” she mumbled.
She fled from the room as quickly as her legs would carry her. Her heart was heavy. He regretted their lovemaking, while she’d been replaying it over and over in her mind. She’d been such a fool to think that it’d been special for the both of them.
She wouldn’t make that mistake again. And she didn’t have time to dwell on her foolish mistake. The wedding was getting close—a wedding to top all others. It’d be so romantic that it’d have couples falling in love all over again.
Except for her and Stefano.