Читать книгу Powerful and Proud - Кейт Хьюит - Страница 11

CHAPTER FOUR

TO HIS credit, Chase’s jaw didn’t drop. He didn’t laugh or raise his eyebrows or even blink. He just stared at her, expressionless, and Millie felt herself flush.

She’d decided on the straightforward approach because, really, what else could she do? She didn’t flirt. She couldn’t play the seductress, and in any case she knew instinctively that Chase would see through any gauzy ploys. No, all she had was a straight shot, and she’d fired it. Direct hit.

‘OK,’ Chase finally said, letting out a breath. ‘That’s...good to know.’

She gave a shaky huff of laughter. ‘I’m glad you think so.’

He rubbed his jaw, the movement inherently sexy. She could see the rippling muscled six-pack of his abs, the glint of sun on his stubble, his strong arms and lean fingers. Yes, she was definitely attracted to him. ‘So,’ he said. ‘What brought this about?’

Of course he’d start asking questions. Most guys would take what she said at face value and drop their pants. Not Chase. She should have realised this wasn’t going to be simple.

She shifted her weight, tried to act at least somewhat nonchalant. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Why me?’

‘You’re here, you’re interested and I’m attracted to you.’

He arched an eyebrow. ‘I take it this isn’t your normal behaviour?’

She swallowed, kept his stare. ‘No, not exactly.’

‘So why now?’

How much truth to tell? She decided to fire another straight shot. ‘Look, I don’t want to get into messy details. This isn’t about emotion, or getting to know each other, or anything like that.’

‘I appreciate your candour.’

‘Good.’ She felt that flush creep back. This had seemed like such a good idea last night, when she couldn’t forget how much she’d wanted him to kiss her. When having a fling with Chase Bryant had seemed like the perfect way to move on from the spectres of her failed life. To forget, at least for a little while.

From here it wasn’t looking so good.

‘So?’ she finally prompted, a definite edge to her voice.

‘Well, I’m flattered.’ Chase leaned over the boat to haul in some kind of rope. Millie waited, everything inside her tensing. He straightened, tossing the rope into a neat coil on the deck. ‘But I’m not that easy a lay.’

She blinked, tried desperately to arrange her face into some sort of blankness. ‘Oh? You could have fooled me.’

He looked almost amused. ‘Now what gave you the impression that I was a man-whore, Miss Scary?’

‘I didn’t mean that.’ Her face, Millie suspected, was bright red. ‘I only meant you asked me out last night and so you must be...you know...open.’

‘Open?’ Now he really seemed amused.

‘To a—a no-strings type of...’ She trailed off, unwilling to put any of it in words. Affair? Fling? Relationship?

‘Thing?’ Chase supplied helpfully, and she nodded, bizarrely grateful.

‘Yes. Thing.’

‘Interesting.’ He reached for another rope, and Millie felt the boat rock under her feet.

‘So do you think you could give me your answer?’ she asked, trying not to sound impatient. Or desperate.

‘An answer,’ Chase mused, and Millie gritted her teeth. He was tormenting her. On purpose.

‘Yes, Chase. An answer.’

‘As to whether I’ll sleep with you.’

She heard the grinding screech as she gritted her teeth even harder. ‘Yes.’

He smiled as he coiled another rope on the deck. ‘The short answer is yes.’

She let out a quick, silent breath. ‘And the long answer?’

‘We’ll do it on my terms.’

He turned to her, completely relaxed, utterly in control. Millie felt her heart flip over in her chest. It wasn’t exactly a pleasant sensation. So, Chase would sleep with her. She would sleep with him. They would have sex.

Her body tingled. Her heart hammered and her mouth dried. Just what she had started here? And how would it finish?

‘Relax, Millie. I’m not about to drop my pants.’

Even if that was what she’d wanted from him originally: a simple, quick, easy transaction. Now she didn’t know what she wanted. She swallowed, tried to ease the dryness in her throat.

‘So what are your terms?’

‘Don’t worry, I’ll keep you informed as we go along.’

Too late Millie realised they were moving. They’d gone about twenty feet from the shore and Chase was doing something with the sails or rigging or whatever was on this wretched boat. She didn’t know the first thing about sailing.

‘What—what are you doing?’ she demanded.

‘Sailing.’

‘But I don’t—’

‘I told you I wanted to see you on my boat,’ Chase said with an easy smile. ‘With your hair blowing away from your face.’

‘But—’

‘My terms, Millie.’ His smile widened. Millie suppressed a short and violent curse. Just what had she got herself into? ‘Relax,’ he said. ‘You could even enjoy yourself.’

‘That was kind of the point,’ she muttered, and he laughed.

‘Glad to hear it.’

She watched Chase let out the sail, the white cloth snapping in the brisk breeze. They were quite far out from the shore now, far enough for Millie to feel a sudden pulse of alarm. She was alone on a boat in the middle—well, sort of the middle—of the Caribbean with a man. With Chase.

She didn’t feel frightened, or even nervous. She felt...alert. Aware. Alive.

‘OK,’ she said, taking a step towards him. ‘So where are we going?’

‘Do we need a destination?’

‘I’m kind of goal-oriented.’

‘So I’ve noticed.’

Her hair was blowing in the breeze, but not away from her face. In it. Strands stuck to her lips and with an impatient sigh she brushed it away. Chase grinned in approval.

‘There.’

‘What?’ she asked irritably. ‘Is this some kind of weird fetish you have? Women and hair?’

‘I just like seeing you look a bit more relaxed. More natural.’ He paused, as if weighing his words. ‘Soft.’

‘Don’t.’ The single word came out sharp, a cut. ‘Don’t,’ she said again, and this time it was a warning.

‘What?’

‘Don’t—don’t try to change me. This isn’t about that.’ She couldn’t stand it if he thought he was on some wretched mercy mission, making her relax and enjoy life. He had no idea. No clue whatsoever.

‘What is it about?’ Chase asked calmly. ‘Sex?’

‘Yes. I thought I made that clear.’

‘You did.’ Just as calmly he strode towards the sail and started doing something with it. Millie couldn’t tell what. ‘And I made it clear this would be on my terms. Watch out.’

‘What—?’

She saw something heavy and wooden swing straight towards her face and then Chase’s hands were on her shoulders, pulling her out of the way. She collided with his chest, her back coming against that bare, hard muscle. Her heart thudded and his hands felt hot on her shoulders, his thumbs touching the bare skin near her collarbone.

‘What was that?’ she asked shakily.

‘The boom. I had to tack.’

‘Tack?’

‘Change direction. I should have warned you, but all this sex talk was distracting me.’

She had no answer to that. All she could think about was how warm and heavy his hands felt on her shoulders, how he’d only have to move his thumbs an inch or two to brush the tops of her breasts. How she wanted him to.

‘We’re good now,’ he said, dropping his hands. ‘We should have a pretty nice run. Let’s sit down.’

Numbly Millie followed him to a cushioned bench in the back of the boat. Chase reached into a cooler and took out a bottle of sparkling water, offering it to her before he took one himself.

‘Cheers. Sorry I don’t have champagne to toast this momentous occasion.’

‘So why don’t you drink, exactly?’

‘More doctor’s orders. Reduce stress.’ He spoke with that deliberate lightness again. He wasn’t telling her the truth, or at least not the whole truth.

Millie swallowed and took a sip of water. Her thoughts were racing as fast as the boat that skimmed lightly over the aquamarine sea onto an unknown horizon. What was going to happen here?

‘So. Tell me more about these terms of yours.’

‘The first one is I decide when we do the deed. And where. And how.’

She swallowed. ‘That’s asking for a lot of control.’

‘I know. And I’m not asking. I’m telling.’

The bottle felt slippery in her hands. ‘I’m not really comfortable with that.’

‘OK.’ He shrugged, everything so easy.

‘What do you mean, OK?’

‘The deal’s off, then. No sex.’

She bit her lip. ‘I didn’t mean that.’

Another shrug. ‘You want to sleep with me, you agree to my terms.’

‘You make it sound so—cold.’

‘No, Scary, you’re doing that all on your own. You’re the one who wants to have some hurried grope and then brush yourself off and move on with life.’

‘I never said that.’

‘Am I wrong?’

She looked away. ‘It wouldn’t have to be hurried.’

‘What is this, some milestone? First time you’ll have had sex since you broke up with your long-time boyfriend?’

She kept her gaze on the sea, frills of white amidst the endless blue. ‘No.’

‘Divorce?’

‘No.’

He sighed. ‘Something, though, right?’

‘Maybe.’

‘Fine. You don’t want to tell me. No messy details.’

‘That’s right.’

‘But I’m telling you I’m not interested in some soulless, sordid transaction. If you want that, hire an escort service. Or go hang out in the bar for a little while longer. Someone will pay or play.’

She blinked and set her jaw. ‘As tempting as that sounds, I’m not interested.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because—’ She hesitated. She felt as if he were stripping away her defences, and yet she didn’t know how he was doing it. She kept darting around to cover her bases, but they were already gone. ‘Because I don’t want that.’

He leaned forward, his voice a soft, seductive whisper. ‘What do you want, Millie?’

Reluctantly, she dragged her gaze towards him. His eyes glittered gold and the wind ruffled his hair. He looked completely gorgeous and so utterly sure. ‘I want you.’

He held her gaze, triumph blazing in his eyes, a smile curving his mouth. Damn it. Why had she said that? Admitted so much?

‘And I want you,’ he told her in a low, lazy murmur. ‘Rather a lot. But I want to be more than a milestone, and so we’re doing this my way.’

More than a milestone. Already she was in over her head. She’d been so stupid, convincing herself that she could handle Chase, that he’d agree to some one-night stand. On the surface, he should have. But from the moment she’d met him he’d never been what she’d thought he was. What she wanted him to be.

So why had she pursued this? Why was she still here, still wanting to do this deal? Did she really want him that much?

Yes.

‘Fine. We’ll do it your way. But I want to know what that is first.’

His smile turned to a pie-eating grin. ‘Nope.’

‘Nope?’

‘Nope. Information is given on a need-to-know basis only.’

Her fingers tightened on her bottle of water, her knuckles aching. ‘I need to know, Chase.’

‘I’ll decide that.’

She could not believe how horribly autocratic and arrogant he was being. She could not believe she was taking it. Why on earth was she not telling him to piss off and take her back to the shore? Was there some sick, depraved little girl inside her who wanted to be told what to do?

Or did she just want him that much?

Yes, she did.

‘Fine,’ she said, forming the word through stiff lips. He nodded, no more. She took a sip of water to ease the dryness in her throat. ‘So what now?’ she asked once she’d swallowed and felt able to speak again.

‘You take off your clothes.’

Her bottle of water slipped from her nerveless fingers and Chase reached forward to catch it.

‘Easy there, Scary. I was joking. Right now we relax, enjoy the sun and sea. I’ll let you know when clothes or lack thereof come into the equation.’

She shook her head slowly. ‘Why are you doing this?’

‘Doing what?’

‘Toying with me.’

He arched an eyebrow. ‘Is that what it feels like?’

‘Pretty much.’

He didn’t answer for a moment, just took a long swallow of water so she could see the brown column of his throat, the breadth of his chest tapering down to lean hips. He was beautiful. ‘Well,’ he finally said, his gaze meeting hers with too much knowledge, ‘I suppose it’s because you’ve been trying to toy with me.’

She took a startled step back. ‘I have not.’

‘Oh, really? You march over to my boat and practically demand to sleep with me. You think I’m just going to lie down and let you have your wicked way with me?’

‘No...not exactly.’

‘You think you can tell me how, when and where I’m going to have sex with you?’

‘That’s what you’re trying to do with me!’

‘Exactly. And I’m not going to be entered into your smart phone and then deleted when you’re done. I’m not a hedge fund, Millie. I’m not an account or a client or a to-do item to tick off. And, more importantly, neither is what’s between us.’

She felt as if he’d wrapped an iron band around her chest and squeezed. Breathing hurt. ‘There’s nothing between us.’

‘That is bull and you know it.’

‘What do you want, Chase?’

‘You. Just like you want me. But I think we have very different definitions of just what that means.’

She dragged a breath into her constricted lungs. Spots danced before her eyes. She was in way over her head now; she was drowning and she had no idea how to save herself. ‘I think we must,’ she finally managed, and Chase just grinned.

Chase watched Millie process what he said and wondered if she was going to pass out. She’d gone seriously pale. And admittedly he’d laid it on pretty thick. He didn’t even know why he was pushing so hard. He’d thought last night had been too intense, and yet today he’d upped the ante a hundred fold. He’d acted on instinct, telling her he was going to call the shots, not just because he didn’t want to be her toy-boy but because he knew on a gut level she needed to let go of that precious control. And he wanted to be the one to make it happen.

As for what was between them... She was right. There was nothing between them, not really.

Yet.

So what did he want?

He took another long swallow of water, desperate for a cold beer. A distraction. He was scaring himself with all this talk. Asking for more than he’d ever intended to want, never mind have.

Maybe he was acting this way because ever since his diagnosis everything in life had felt important, urgent. Precious. And if he felt a connection with a woman well, then, perhaps he should just go for it. Take it as long and far as he could.

Except did he even know how long or far that could be. He didn’t have a lot of options here. A lot of freedom.

He was, Chase reflected, a lousy deal.

Yet Millie only wanted this week, and really that should suit him perfectly. A week, he had.

A week, he would give.

And it would be the most incredible, intense week either of them had ever experienced.

‘You OK there, Scary?’

She glanced at him, still looking dazed. ‘Are you doing this on purpose?’

‘What?’

‘Pushing my buttons. Making me uncomfortable.’

He paused as if he had to think about it, which he didn’t. ‘Yes.’

She shook her head. ‘OK, let me spell it out for you, Chase. I don’t want to be pushed. I don’t want buttons to be pressed. I want a week-long fling, some really great, mind-blowing sex, and that’s it. And, if you don’t think you can deliver, then maybe you should just take me back to shore right now.’ She was trembling.

‘Mind-blowing, huh?’

‘Yes. Definitely.’

‘I think I can deliver.’

‘And nothing more than that,’ she stressed, as if he didn’t get it already.

‘That’s a problem.’

She blew out an impatient breath, pushing her hair behind her ears. She looked younger when she did that, although he guessed she was about his age, maybe a little younger. Mid-thirties, probably. ‘Why is that a problem?’

‘Because I don’t think sex can be mind-blowing if a few buttons aren’t pressed. In a manner of speaking, of course.’

She looked so disbelieving he almost winced. ‘Are you telling me you haven’t had cheap sex before? One-night stands? Flings?’

‘No, I’m not saying that.’ He’d had more than his share of all the above. He wasn’t particularly proud of his past, standing on this side of it, but he’d own up to it.

‘Then why are you insisting on something more now?’

He stretched his legs out in front of him, laced his hands behind his head. ‘I suppose it depends on what you think of as more.’

‘Stop talking in riddles.’

‘OK, here it is, totally straight. We’re both here for a week, right?’

‘Right.’

‘A week out of time, out of reality, and we’ll never see each other again in New York or elsewhere. Yes?’

‘Yes.’

‘See, we are on the same page.’

‘Spit it out,’ she said, her teeth gritted, and he couldn’t keep from grinning. He loved riling her.

‘So you give me one week, and I give you mind-blowing sex. Deal?’

‘I’m not signing until you tell me the fine print,’ she said tautly, and he laughed aloud.

‘You give me one week,’ he repeated. He leaned forward, the urgency and excitement he felt coming out on his voice, his body. He felt it thrum between them with the pulse of an electric current. ‘One week. Seven days. But you give me everything, Millie. You give me all of yourself, no holding back, no hiding. All in. And in return I give you mind-blowing.’

She stared at him silently for a long moment, her eyes wide, pupils dilated—with fear or desire? Probably both. Hell, he felt both. He couldn’t believe he was doing this. He couldn’t believe how much he wanted to.

‘That,’ she finally said, ‘is a lousy deal.’

‘You really think so?’ He felt a tiny flicker of disappointment, but still that urgent hope. She was here. She was still talking, still wanting.

And, God knew, he wanted her. A lot.

‘I told you I didn’t want to get into messy emotional stuff. I don’t want to know you, Chase.’

The flicker of disappointment deepened into actual hurt. He pushed it away. ‘Except in the biblical sense, you mean.’

She let out a huff of exasperated breath. ‘You’re totally reneging on what we agreed on.’

‘Nope. You are. My terms, remember?’

Her lips parted, realisation patently dawning. He waited. ‘I thought you meant—well, the physical aspect of—of things. Like, maybe something a little bit kinky.’ A beet-red blush washed over her face like a tide.

‘We could go there if you like,’ Chase offered. The prospect held an intriguing appeal. ‘And I did say the when, where and how, it’s true. But now I’m giving you some of those need-to-know details.’

She said nothing, just turned to stare out at the sea. They were in open water, the wind starting to die down. He should tack again, but he just waited. This moment was too important.

‘I don’t want to talk about my past,’ she said slowly, forming each word with reluctance. ‘I’ll give myself in other ways, but not that.’

‘That’s kind of a big one.’

She turned to face him, and he felt as if a fist had struck his soul. She looked incredibly, unbearably bleak. ‘Then you can take me back right now.’

Chase held her gaze, felt a twisting inside him. She was truly beautiful, he realised, but it was a stark, severe beauty, all clean angles and pure lines. And sadness. So much sadness. ‘No need for that,’ he said as lightly as he could. ‘I agree.’

Her breath came out in a rush. ‘Good.’

‘So it’s a deal?’

Her mouth trembled in an almost-smile. ‘I guess it is.’

Chase stood up and walked towards the rigging. It was time to change direction. ‘Then let our week begin.’