Читать книгу A Forever Family Collection - Коллектив авторов - Страница 43

‘SHOULDN’T WE BUY Cam a present if it’s his birthday?’

Tess glanced at Ty. ‘I think you and Krissie should make him a birthday card. I bought cardboard, glitter pens and stickers.’ She’d lugged them all the way from Sydney sure they’d find a use for them, and she set them on the kitchen table now. ‘Plus, we are making him the best cake in the world.’

‘With cream and jam in the middle and sprinkles on top?’ Krissie double-checked.

‘That’s right, chickadee.’

‘And I’m going to take my pin-the-tail on the donkey game,’ she added. ‘I think Cam will love playing that.’

‘I’m sure you’re right.’

‘I know!’ Ty’s face lit up. ‘I can write him a story. We’re writing stories at school and Mrs Bennet said I was good at them.’

‘Cam would love a story,’ Tess agreed. ‘And you can make a proper cover for it out of the cardboard and draw a picture on it.’

Hopefully book and card building would keep the two of them occupied for the next thirty minutes while she worked out how to cut her sponge in half, fill it with jam and cream, and then ice it.

Krissie suddenly rose from the kitchen table to press herself to Tess’s side. ‘Mrs Bennet’s leaving at the end of the year. She’s re…re…’

Tess’s heart clenched at the anxiety that threaded through her niece’s eyes. How she wished she could shield them from everything that worried or frightened them. ‘She’s retiring.’ Tess’s own heart clenched then too. ‘Which means you’ll have a brand-new teacher next year.’ Please, God, because if Bellaroo Creek couldn’t attract a new teacher to town, and the school closed…

Her stomach churned, but she made her voice cheerful. ‘And we’ll have to make sure they feel as welcome to town as we did.’

‘And then we won’t be the newest people any more,’ Ty said.

Krissie bit her lip. ‘Do you think we’ll like her…or him?’

Ty glanced up at Krissie’s ‘or him’, his eyes wary. It made Tess’s heart burn harder. ‘I’m sure we will.’ She sent them both her biggest smile. Reassured, they returned to their card and story making.

‘That’s the best cake in the world!’ Krissie said in awe a little while later when Tess stepped away from the cake to admire her handiwork.

‘And that’s one super-duper card.’ Tess picked it up to admire Krissie’s handiwork.

‘And I’m finished too!’

Ty handed her the book he’d made. He’d stapled the pages between cardboard and had drawn a…um…She’d challenge even Sarah to hazard a guess about that one. ‘It looks just like a proper book!’

That was obviously the right response because Ty beamed at her. ‘It’s a story about a cowboy.’

‘Which will be perfect for Cam,’ she agreed, glancing again at the cover trying to make out either a cow or a horse or a cowboy.

She clapped her hands. ‘Okay, go wash your hands, put on your party clothes and let’s go surprise Cam.’

He’d been here yesterday afternoon, building the bed for the vegetable garden. He hadn’t let slip for a single moment that he had a birthday today. He’d said he was going to catch up on his bookkeeping.

On a Sunday?

On his birthday?

Oh, no, no. Tess had decided then and there that the least she could do was make him a birthday cake. Somewhere along the line, that had evolved into a full-blown party. Grinning, she went to put on her pink party dress. A party was exactly what they all needed.

Cameron stilled, cocked his head to one side and then frowned. Someone was knocking on the front door.

Nobody knocked on the front door. Ever. The few people who came out to Kurrajong these days came around the back. Fraser would’ve tapped on the French doors of Cam’s study if he’d needed to discuss anything.

More knocking sounded. He pushed away from his computer with a growl and set off through the dim hush of the house. Since he’d taken a bedroom at the back, he rarely came into this part of the house any more. These big front reception rooms with their picture rails, antiques and high ceilings held the memory of too many shattered dreams. He scowled as he strode through them now. He flung the heavy door open, a bitter reproof burning on his tongue…

A reproof he swallowed at the sight that met his eyes. A sight as colourful as a flock of rosellas and just as cheerful.

‘Surprise!’ Ty and Krissie yelled, almost in unison, and then they each popped a party popper that covered him in coloured streamers, and for a moment he felt just as colourful—as flamingo-pink and butter-yellow as the girls’ party dresses and as purple and blue as Ty’s best jeans and shirt.

But then the shadows of the rooms behind touched the back of his neck with cold fingers, mocking him with the ludicrousness of any colour surviving within their forbidding walls, and he pulled the streamers from his head and shoulders, and a hard ball settled in the pit of his stomach.

‘Happy birthday, Cameron.’

Tess’s smile almost melted the coldness. ‘How on earth…?’

She waggled a finger at him. ‘You needn’t think you can keep something as important as a birthday a secret.’

As far as he was concerned, it was just another day.

‘And we wanted to give you a party, because you’re one of our best new friends!’

The smile Krissie sent him did melt the coldness. And while he wished with all his might that they’d turn around and walk back home, he managed to cover his lack of enthusiasm with a smile. ‘A party?’

Ty held up a bag. ‘We brought jellybeans and crisps!’

‘And Auntie Tess made you a cake.’

He glanced at Tess, delectable in her pink dress, but her smile had slipped. She’d sensed his discomfort. ‘I hope we haven’t caught you at a bad time.’

He blinked. He straightened. She was giving him an out? He could tell them he was really busy, promise to drop over to their place in a couple of hours…And Tess would turn the children around and walk away, and leave him in peace?

But when he glanced at the kids with their eager shining faces, he didn’t have the heart to disappoint them. He could manage a party in this cold, heartless house just this once. It wouldn’t kill him. He dragged in a breath and made himself grin. ‘A party sounds like just the thing!’

He was rewarded with a smile from Tess that almost knocked him off his feet.

‘Your house is amazing,’ Ty breathed, glancing around Cam’s bulk. He frowned and edged closer to his aunt. ‘It’s a bit dark.’

He translated that immediately into, It’s a bit scary. He kept his voice steadily cheerful. ‘Well, with only me living here these days I don’t use these front rooms much.’

‘Auntie Tess was right,’ Krissie whispered to her brother. ‘We should’ve gone around the back.’

‘But I wanted to see,’ he whispered back.

Cam then found himself pushing the door open as wide as he could, beckoning his visitors inside and turning into the reception room to his left and throwing open the curtains as wide as they would go, so the children could take in the room in its entirety, sans shadows. He strode across the corridor and did the same for the other reception room. The children trailed behind him, oohing and ahhing, their eyes wide and mouths agape.

When Tess saw the dark cherrywood baby grand in the second room, she froze. He took the cake from her before she could drop it. He recognised the fear in her eyes, but there was something else there too, fighting for supremacy. She closed her eyes, but not before he saw raw, naked hunger.

With sudden resolution, he turned back to Krissie and Ty. ‘It’s been a long time since I used this room, but I think it makes the perfect party room, don’t you?’

‘Yes!’

He set the cake down on a colonial-style hardwood coffee table. He took the bags of party food from Ty and set them there too. ‘Then let’s get some plates and drinks and then we can really get this party on the road.’

He led them through the formal dining room with its magnificent table-seating for twelve.

Ty gazed at it in awe. ‘You must be able to have the biggest parties.’

‘Legend has it that my grandparents threw the kind of parties that people spoke about for years.’

There were photo albums showing these rooms filled to bursting with smiling people, dressed in their best. As a boy, he’d pored over those photographs. He’d yearned to be in those photographs, and he’d sworn to bring that kind of gaiety back to Kurrajong House—a dream he’d finally thought within reach when Fiona had agreed to marry him. His hand clenched. How wrong he’d been. He couldn’t re-create the gaiety of that bygone era. Not with the kind of family he had.

But he refused to fade away as his father had done.

‘Cameron?’

Tess touched his arm. He stared down at her and had to fight the urge to haul her into his arms and kiss her. Falling into her would chase away the ghosts of the past and ease the hurt of shattered dreams, at least for a little while. If he backed her up against the wall, teased her, seduced her…

He could lose himself in her arms and take all he wanted.

And he wanted all right, no doubt about that, but it’d be a despicable thing to do.

She bit her lip—her plump, delectable bottom lip—and her eyes darkened at whatever she saw in his face. The pulse at the base of her throat fluttered. He wanted to press his lips to that spot and—

‘The kitchen?’ she croaked.

Gritting his teeth, he swung away. ‘This way.’

They collected plates, bowls and cans of soda, and headed back to the so-dubbed party room. Cam opened the two front bay windows. A warm breeze filtered through, fanning the lace curtains, a touch of white against the dark wood panelling. While he did that, Tess and the children put out the party food—a big bowl of crisps, smaller bowls of jellybeans and chocolates, a plate of ginger-crisp biscuits, and even a small cheese platter.

He didn’t have much of a sweet tooth, but his mouth started to water.

Tess, with her back very firmly to the piano, placed three blue candles on top of the cake and then lit them. She glanced at Krissie and Ty. ‘Ready?’

They huddled in around her and at the tops of their voices sang the Happy Birthday song to him, and the longer it went on the wider their grins grew.

‘Blow out the candles,’ Tess ordered.

He did and they popped more party poppers. Krissie handed him a card she’d made out of glitter and stamps, and Ty handed him a story he’d written about a cowboy, and Cam found himself laughing and eating jellybeans and playing pin the tail on the donkey…and having a party.

He pulled up short when Fraser and Jenny appeared in the doorway a short while later. ‘We came to investigate the noise,’ Jenny said.

Cam leapt to his feet. ‘Come and join us. Tess, Ty and Krissie, this is my station manager, Fraser, and his wife, Jenny, who manages to keep this place clean and running smoothly.’ They’d be Tess’s nearest neighbours when he left. It would be good for her to know them.

‘Lovely to meet you.’ Tess beamed at them. ‘And you’ve arrived at the perfect time. We were just about to play pass the parcel.’

Everyone ended up with a snack-sized chocolate except Cam, who won the final prize of a family block of chocolate.

He stared at it—a family. He gazed about the room. At the moment they had all the appearance of a family. His heart started to pound, but he pushed the fantasies away. He wouldn’t be beguiled by them. Not for a second time. He knew his own strength. He could survive one let-down, but two? He shook his head.

He couldn’t deny, though, that for the space of an afternoon Tess and her kids with their laughter and this party had brought a spark of life back into this cold mausoleum of a house.

Krissie slipped a hand inside his. ‘Are you having a good party, Cam?’

‘The best,’ he assured her. ‘There’s only one more thing that would make it perfect.’

They all swung to him. Tess planted her hands on her hips. ‘What could we have possibly forgotten?’

His heart started to thump. She wouldn’t thank him for this. At least, not initially, but…He glanced about the room. She’d given him a marvellous memory to take away with him when he left Bellaroo Creek. Instead of seeing his father sitting here in the half-dark, he’d now see Tess in her pink dress and hear the children’s laughter.

‘Come on, out with it,’ she ordered.

He planted his feet. ‘I’d like you to play something for me on the piano.’

Wind rushed in Tess’s ears. The room shrank in on her. She collapsed onto a footstool.

No! Cameron couldn’t ask this of her. He couldn’t. It was too cruel. She’d kept her back firmly to the piano because the lure of it was like a siren song.

She knew he didn’t mean to be cruel. He couldn’t know about the hole that had opened up in her as big and as dry as the Great Western Desert since she’d packed away her guitar and stopped playing the piano

‘I don’t play any more,’ she whispered, aching to sit at that beautiful piano and to fill her soul with music, but—

She’d turned her back on that life. On that person she’d been.

‘I don’t have parties,’ Cam said, ‘but I made an exception today and I don’t regret it.’ He glanced at the children and then at her again. ‘Make an exception, Tess, just for today.’

She glanced at the children then too. The hope in their faces tore at her. Didn’t they know that if she’d been a better person—if she’d never played music—their mother might still be alive?

Krissie hopped from one leg to the other, clapping her hands silently, hope filling her eyes—eyes the same shape and colour as Sarah’s. Ty came over to where she sat and pressed his hands to either side of her face. ‘Please, Auntie Tess? Mummy loved to hear you play.’

Her heart nearly fell out of her chest. It took every ounce of strength she had not to cry. Cam came across and held out a hand to her. She stared at it, swallowed and then reached up and took it, allowed him to help her to her feet and lead her across to the piano.

‘What would you like me to play?’ she murmured, once seated.

‘Whatever you want,’ he said, moving to sit across the room from her in an easy chair.

Her hands shook as she played a tentative scale and she had to suck in a breath at the familiarity, at the need growing in her.

Oh, play that one again, Tessie. I love that one. It makes me feel as if I’m flying above the treetops.

Tuning out the doubts, Tess gave herself up to playing one of Sarah’s favourite pieces. It filled her up. It made her feel—for a short time—as if she’d found her sister again.

As ever, the music transported her. When she finished she couldn’t tell if she’d played it well or not. The stunned faces in front of her told her it’d been good.

Cameron leaned towards her and she imagined she could feel the strength of his regard and his admiration all the way across the room. ‘Superb.’ And the expression in his eyes made her feel as if she were flying above treetops.

Then she saw a movement by the doorway. Glancing at Cam, she rose and nodded towards his visitors.

Lorraine. Fiona. And Lance.

All the adults rose, but nobody spoke. Finally Jenny cleared her throat. She glanced at Ty and Krissie. ‘Would you like to see where Fraser and I live? It’s just out the back,’ she added to Tess. ‘And I can show you the lambs.’

Krissie and Ty leapt to their feet.

‘You could come meet the horses too,’ Fraser added, winning over one little boy in an instant.

Tess went to start after them, but Jenny touched her arm with a murmured, ‘You might like to stay here.’

Tess didn’t want to stay. She didn’t want to intrude. But she recognised the vulnerability behind the stiff set of Cam’s shoulders and the grim line of his mouth. It’s nice to have you in my corner. She counted the people in the room. She went and stood beside him. She might not even out the numbers, but she’d give him whatever support she could.

Lorraine finally broke the silence. ‘Hello, Cameron.’

‘Mum.’

‘I wanted to wish you a happy birthday, son, and…’ She trailed off as if she wasn’t sure what else to say.

Tell him you love him!

‘If you really wished me a happy birthday,’ Cam drawled in a voice so hard it made Tess wince, ‘you’d have left your other son at home.’

‘He wanted to wish you many happy returns too.’

‘They say love is blind. Where Lance is concerned, you’re living proof.’

‘Oh, Cam, please,’ Lorraine implored.

‘Please what?’ He rounded on her. He glared at Lance. ‘I want you off my property now!’

Lance flinched, but he held his ground. ‘I came to say I’m sorry.’

The silence grew so loud Tess wanted to clap her hands over her ears.

‘For?’

She glanced up at Cam uneasily. She didn’t like that edge to his voice.

‘For…for breaking up your engagement with Fiona. The thing is, I…I love her.’ He swallowed. ‘But I’m sorry we hurt you.’

‘Love her?’

Cam’s scorn almost burned the flesh from Tess’s arms and it wasn’t even directed at her.

‘The only person you love, the only person you’ve ever loved, is yourself.’

Lance flinched.

‘The only reason any of you are standing here now is because your farm is in trouble and you want me to bail you out.’

‘You’re right. Ever since you walked away from the management of the farm it’s all gone to hell in a hand basket, but that’s not why we’re here. We’re here because…’ He halted, but Fiona nudged him. ‘Because I’ve never been the kind of brother you deserved. I’m sorry for that. But I never really thought you’d turn your back on me and Mum.’

‘I haven’t turned my back on Mum.’

The unspoken words, but I’ve turned my back on you, hung in the air.

Cam shifted his gaze to Lorraine. ‘That said,’ he drawled, ‘she doesn’t seem particularly eager to spend any time in my company.’

Although he hid it well, Tess could feel the hurt emanating from him. She moved a fraction closer.

‘Oh, Cameron, honey, it’s not that I don’t want to spend time with you! But you refuse to step foot over my threshold.’

‘The threshold where Lance and Fiona reside,’ he pointed out.

‘It’s this house!’ she suddenly blurted out. ‘I find it so difficult being here.’

They all stared at her in varying states of astonishment.

‘You hate this house?’ Cam shifted, frowned. ‘But, why?’

Her hand fluttered about her throat. ‘That’s all in the past now.’

‘Obviously it’s not or you wouldn’t find it so hard being here. Why?’ he demanded again.

Lorraine folded her arms as if to shield herself, and Tess had to fight an urge to go to the older woman.

‘You won’t like it, Cameron. It does no good to rake over old hurts.’

‘The truth,’ he demanded in that hard voice Tess found difficult to associate with him.

Lorraine glanced away. Her gaze drifted about the room and she barely suppressed a shudder. ‘I was so unhappy here. I…I married your father with such high hopes…’

She dashed away a tear. Tess’s throat thickened. Surely Cameron could see what distress he was causing his mother.

‘So you had an affair.’

Lorraine drew herself up at that. ‘I most certainly did not! I’d left your father for a good eight months before I fell in love with Bill. I left your father because he was unfaithful to me, Cameron. Not once, but multiple times.’

Cam’s jaw slackened. ‘But he left that house and land for you to use. Even after you’d married another man.’

‘Oh, darling, that wasn’t due to unrequited love. It was due to remorse. And guilt.’

Tess wanted to take Cam’s arm and lead him to a chair to digest the information, to give him time to think and take it all in.

‘That’s why I never visit this house. It holds so many bad memories for me—a time in my life where I questioned my very abilities as both a wife and a mother. When I left here I…I thought I would never laugh again. That’s why I’ve refused your dinner invitations, Cameron. I simply can’t imagine being in this house and not being overwhelmed again by those old feelings. And since the unfortunate business with Lance and Fiona…well…it’s been almost impossible to ask you to dinner at my house. I knew you wouldn’t come.’

‘Unfortunate?’ Cam choked out.

‘They didn’t do it on purpose, son.’

Cam glared at Lance. ‘I don’t believe that for a moment,’ he said with soft menace. ‘I wonder how long Fiona will stick by you, brother, when you ruin the farm and have nothing left to your name?’

Lance paled. ‘Things have always come easy to you, Cam. You always had good grades, were great at sport and took to farming like it was bred into your bones, but you have no sympathy for those who don’t have the same natural aptitude.’

‘I have no sympathy with those who sit back and let everybody else do the hard work.’

‘It was hell growing up in your shadow!’ Lance suddenly yelled. ‘I wanted to be just like you, you know that? It’s why I took your things. I was hoping they’d give me the key, the magic, but I failed again and again until I decided to stop even trying. And you want to know what the worst thing was? You let me keep all the things I took, when you could’ve taken them back so easily. Even Fiona. I know you could probably win her back with a snap of your fingers if you put your mind to it, but this time—this time—I will fight back.’

‘Hey!’ Fiona pushed forward to give Lance’s arm a shake. ‘No, he couldn’t. Why do you have so little faith in me?’

‘Because you left me for him, so who will you leave him for?’

The words could’ve been uttered cruelly, contemptuously, but Cam said them with a weariness that simply highlighted their logic.

She stared at Cam with those perfect blue eyes, and Tess wished she could just disappear into the woodwork. She refused to glance up at Cam. She didn’t have the heart to deal with the hunger she fully expected to see in his eyes.

‘I really wanted to make things work with you,’ Fiona said. ‘You had such seductive dreams about turning this house into a wonderful family home, but…’

‘But you obviously changed your mind and decided my brother was a better bet.’

She shook her head and her perfect blonde ponytail swished about her perfect face in perfect rhythm. ‘I came to realise those dreams of yours meant more to you than I ever did. I was just some idea you had of the ideal wife and mother. I needed more than that. I needed you to need me, but you’re so self-sufficient, Cam, that I started to think you’d never need anyone.’ She glanced at Tess. ‘Maybe I was wrong about that.’

Beside her, Cam stiffened. She wanted to drape herself across him and tell Fiona to back off! That Cameron was too good for the likes of her. She didn’t. That would be a crazy, stupid move, and she was darn sure Cam wouldn’t thank her for it if she did. But one thing became increasingly clear. She was fed up with just standing here while these three made excuses for themselves.

‘I’ll tell you all something for nothing,’ she stated so loudly it made everyone jump. ‘Cameron has made my family’s transition to Bellaroo Creek so much easier than it would otherwise have been. He’s one of the best men I have ever met and he’s a valued friend.’

True, true and true.

‘Furthermore, I think he deserves a whole lot better from all of you.’

‘Tess,’ he growled.

‘No, she’s right,’ Lorraine said. ‘I shouldn’t have let stupid memories keep me from coming out here to check on you, Cameron, and to make sure you were doing okay.’

‘I didn’t need checking up on or looking after.’

She smiled sadly. ‘And there you go pushing us away again.’

He rolled his shoulders and frowned. ‘I’m not pushing you away.’

‘Tess is right, though,’ Lance said.

‘It’s why we wanted to come out here and apologise,’ Fiona added. ‘And to hold out an olive branch.’

Cameron said nothing, but Tess stood so closely to him she could feel the tension coiling him up tight.

‘We’re kin, Cam.’ Lance held out his hand. ‘That has to mean something.’

Tess held her breath, hoping, praying that Cam would accept his brother’s proffered hand. She closed her eyes when he gave a harsh laugh.

‘Your farm must be in a real state. You’re welcome here any time, Mum, but, Lance…you can go to blazes. If I shake your hand now, how long before you turn around and stick the knife in again? How long before you try to steal another canola contract out from under my nose? I’m just waiting to find you rustling my cattle next. But stand warned. If I do I’ll be contacting the authorities. You’ve burned your bridges as far as I’m concerned. Now get out!’

‘What about me?’ Fiona whispered.

Cam planted his hands on his hips. ‘What about you?’

The scent of cut grass wafted about Tess. She drew it slowly into her lungs to counter the nausea churning her stomach. Did Fiona want him back?

‘Do you accept my apology? Am I welcome in your home?’

Cam sent Lance a cruel, hard smile. ‘You’re welcome in my home any time, Fiona.’

Lance turned white. He seized Fiona’s hand and stormed from the room.

Lorraine pressed a gift into Cam’s hand and then reached up to kiss his cheek. ‘It was lovely to see you, Cameron. I just hope we haven’t spoiled your day.’

And then she left and Tess could feel all the energy just drain out of her body, leaving her limp and wrecked. It must be a hundred times worse for Cam. She moved to a chair, pressed her hands together between her knees. Her pink party dress suddenly seemed totally out of place. She eyed Cam carefully. He hadn’t moved. She cleared her throat. ‘Are you okay?’

He rounded on her then. ‘That was all your doing, wasn’t it?’

Her jaw dropped.

He flung an arm out, pacing from one side of the room to the other. ‘I should’ve known little Miss Fix-it wouldn’t be able to mind her own business, that she’d need to interfere.’

She shot to her feet. The roller coaster of emotions she’d experienced this afternoon crashing through her now. ‘Well, even if I did—’ which she hadn’t, but she’d rather walk on broken glass now than admit it ‘—I sure didn’t make things worse. Oh, no, you accomplished that all on your own!’

He swung back to her. ‘Are you telling me you actually believed that line he fed me?’

She planted herself directly in front of him. ‘Yes, I do.’ And strangely enough she did. It was only now when he was deprived of his brother that Lance could see all that Cam meant to him, and how much he needed him. ‘But even if I didn’t,’ she suddenly found herself shouting, ‘he’s your brother and he deserves the benefit of the doubt!’

‘Just because you feel guilty about letting Sarah down doesn’t give you the right to go meddling in my life! Fixing my situation won’t be a form of restitution, you know.’

She sucked in a breath. ‘At least I’m not hiding from life.’

‘What do you call turning away from your music?’

She clenched her hands. ‘At least I’m not afraid to let love in my life. At least I put people first!’

Neither of their voices had lost any of their volume and the walls practically rang with their shouts.

‘That’s just as well because you know nothing about chickens!’

‘At least I know how to throw a decent party! Me!’ She thumped her chest. ‘Me has got the hang of country hospitality in under a month. You haven’t got the hang of it your whole life!’

‘Your grammar sucks!’

‘And your manners suck!’

She glared. He glared.

She bit her lip. His lips started to twitch.

She snorted. ‘Me has got?’

He rolled his eyes. ‘I can’t believe I made that chicken crack.’

And suddenly they were both roaring with laughter.

And then Cameron pulled her right into his arms and kissed her.