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Chapter Nine

Every Little Step

“Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.”

(Psalms 119:105)

After making the decision and expectantly moving forward into the adoption process, we eagerly approached the path. However, we were decelerated by the mountain of paperwork to be completed and a number of mandatory “to do’s” to be checked off. Any person wanting to adopt must complete, not only a lengthy application, but a state mandated “home study” conducted by a licensed social worker. The home study is used to prepare, evaluate, and collect information about the family. It is a rigorous process including several in-person meetings and can take months to complete. There is nothing fast or easy about this process.

The home study evaluation requires a person to face and make decisions about their future that expecting parents would never think twice about. I was overwhelmed and disheartened knowing that these were not choices we would have to make if I were pregnant. What race are you open to adopting? What medical issues are you willing to accept? What type of relationship do you want with the birth parents? What states are you willing to travel to? What expenses are you willing to pay? There are so many unknowns which make these decisions very difficult. Some of the toughest decisions to make will not be relevant in the long run; some are vast forks in the road and some are mere steps on a path. But each of these decisions has to be made in the midst of uncertainty and prior to proceeding in the adoption process. For each decision I was struggling with, I would express my concerns to my husband and close friends and then ask for their thoughts. I would then bring my concerns to God through prayer and journaling. Giving attention and time to our values helped us make the best decision we could make with the information we had.

Whether you are facing a major fork in the road or just a minor step on the path, seek his word for guidance. His word will guide your feet one step at a time. Do not look ahead or down the path. Do not try to make more than one decision at a time. Just take one step. Pray. Now take another. We need his guidance. We need his light. We need his word.

Wait with Hope

What fork in the road or decision are you currently facing?

Are you looking too far ahead to make that decision? Back up and identify the first decision to be made.

Consider praying, waiting for peace, and then taking one step. Continue to do this (pray, wait, step) until you have reached your destination. Use this space to pray, wait, step, and journal along the path.