Читать книгу Sincerely About Us. Искренне о нас - Лана Лайт - Страница 12

Coming to a volunteer camp in your homeland, I was really excited to be back there and also to meet new people with whom I would spend the next few weeks, working and living side by side. Initially, I wasn’t supposed to come to this particular camp, but the other camp that I had chosen got canceled at the last minute. Since I had been to this one before, the organizers gave me this place as an option, which I gladly took because I had absolutely loved it the first time around.

So there I was, standing in the courtyard of our guesthouse, basking in July’s warmth and sunshine and taking in everything around me, which I never thought I would see or experience again: the stone house, the kitchen, the spacious common room, the big gates, the outdoor dining area, and the serenity of the surrounding countryside. I was filled with anticipation to go to the work site and see how what we had built the previous year looked now. I couldn’t contain my excitement to share everything I knew and remembered about the place with someone in the new group. Discovering that you were one of our supervisors, I decided to turn to you.

Honestly, at first, I was rather hesitant about approaching you. I had never seen anyone with a stripe of spiky hair on their head in real life before; combined with a black T-shirt and a pair of jeans in the middle of a hot summer, you seemed rather tough to me. However, when I gathered enough courage and talked to you, I was immediately disarmed by your warm smile and enormous gentleness.

This striking contrast between your appearance and behavior piqued my curiosity, so it was only natural for me to try and know you better. The more we interacted, the less of your outer armor I saw and the more your inner vulnerability shone through.

Whenever you had a chance, you would eagerly grab some paper and pencils to add yet another picture to your ever-growing collection of amazing drawings. One afternoon, as we stood in the courtyard, you decided to show them to me. What caught my eye in them, apart from your impressive skills, was an endearing combination of grim elements and overall hopeful romantic themes. In that exact moment, you became incredibly precious to me, and I instantly knew that I wanted – I needed! – to be friends with you for as long as possible. It took me only a second more to notice something else in your artwork; I couldn’t help but blurt it out because it was so obvious to me, “But it’s you, here and here, right? There’s a depiction of you in almost every sketch!” You seemed equally taken aback by my words, as no one had ever even considered it before… I felt a sense of heartache for you, unable to comprehend why there were so many insensitive blind people in your life because in my opinion, your pictures spoke louder than words.

As time went by and our volunteer work progressed slowly but surely, our group kept sharing meals, stories, board games, short trips to the nearby lake, and tours to the nearest towns. Little by little, I learned that you were very passionate about music, very picky about it even, so it took me quite a while before I decided to share the music of a local band with you. I had discovered it on my own and loved it so much that I would have preferred to keep it to myself rather than hear any negative feedback about it. How happy and even proud I felt when, as you were listening to each new track on the album, I saw you smiling and sort of approving of my choice. Was that the moment I won you over? I never knew, and it hardly mattered, because it felt like we had clicked effortlessly on some very deep level anyway.

I always had very tender feelings for you, and you were always sweet and kind to me, even when I made hilariously awkward language mistakes that made everyone, including you, laugh uncontrollably. I loved how respectful of the language you always were; as a passionate language learner myself, I appreciated it in you, in what and how you spoke a lot.

We listened to music and watched movies together, discreetly competed to see who would take a better photo during our walks… Although I had already been dabbling in photography for a couple of years, it was your appreciation for beautiful photos in general and your praise of some of mine in particular that really made me catch this photography bug. (Once, you were so excited about a photo I had taken that you half-jokingly exclaimed, “I should have taken it myself!”=)) Thank you for that, because it helped me capture important everyday moments of my life in a more tasteful way than I would have done otherwise.

What has always stood out to me in my memories connected with you is that I felt more treasured and beautiful in your eyes, as if you saw something adorable in me I didn’t realize was there. You never said it out loud, but somehow it was clearly felt in the gentle way you treated me and in the many photos you took of me as if trying to capture those moments of our life forever. By the way, no one had ever taken so many photos of me before, so it felt strange, flattering, and nice. But I did the same, whenever our group was out and about on some tour or afternoon walk, I made sure you were in the frame of as many photos I took as possible. However, it’s not just about the quantity of photos that matters, but all the attentiveness to each other that shows clearly in them and through them in my memory. We had connected and, without realizing it, had an invisible but very powerful tether formed between us which made us always look in the direction of each other.

Later on, you showed me the capital through the eyes of someone who had lived, studied, and worked there. Honestly, I couldn’t have asked for a more captivating and personalized tour of this magnificent city. You took me to charming little streets and shops, to a museum and a castle I didn’t even know existed. Thanks to you I got to see the city from within, with its gems of places off the beaten track. These walks have been tucked away securely in the sunny corners of my memory, and nothing can replace them there, ever.

It was always very easy and comfortable for me to be by your side. For me it felt like we had known each other much longer than those few weeks; it just so happened that we had grown up countries and time zones apart. So, this wonderful adventure of ours always had but one flaw: we both knew from the beginning that at some point I would have to leave and go home, making it all very nonchalant. The time was treacherously limited and our relationship was never supposed to last long. Or was it?..

Anyway, we fully embraced this opportunity to be happy kids living in the moment. However, I wished back then and wish to this day our story would have continued and evolved into something as beautiful and strong as my feelings for you were. And yet, I will always cherish my memories of the time I spent with you, a tough-looking young man with the kindest and warmest of hearts.