Читать книгу Christmas Secrets Collection - Laura Iding - Страница 24

LONG after Jadon had left, Alyssa found herself replaying their brief conversation over and over again.

He’d asked her to move in with him. As a business arrangement. Because there was extra room in his threebedroom house. A temporary solution to solve her child-care needs.

Typical of Jadon to gloss over the emotional side of things. Did he ever think about their time together? Did he have any feelings for her at all? Other than as the mother of his children? Children he’d never planned on having?

Logically, she knew his offer had some merit. She’d always sworn not to end up like her mother, struggling to make ends meet. And now here was Jadon, offering a solution to at least part of her problems. But at what cost?

Emotionally, sharing a roof with Jadon would risk her heart, a huge price to pay.

Yet didn’t her babies deserve a safe and secure childhood? And would she really be able to provide that on her own? For one baby, yes, but for two? Doubtful.

She hadn’t given him an answer, simply telling him she’d need to think about it.

For a long time she stared at the pretty, bright star topping her lopsided Christmas tree, as if seeking divine guidance. What on earth should she do? Maybe moving in with him would be best for the twins, but what about her?

If only her pulse didn’t leap so erratically whenever Jadon was nearby. If only she didn’t still feel that spark of attraction whenever he spoke to her. If only she didn’t wish so much that things were different.

She’d gone into a relationship with Jadon planning to keep things light, but she’d been hurt more than she’d realized when he’d left. Maybe he’d left for a family crisis but, still, he hadn’t called to let her know he was coming back. Clearly he hadn’t anticipated renewing their relationship. Because they hadn’t had a relationship.

She didn’t want to be hurt again. Jadon had already proved himself to be too much like her father. She’d be better off to stay away from him.

Except he was the father of her babies.

Avoiding him would be impossible. Somehow she had to find a way to work with Jadon, to meet the needs of her children, without becoming emotionally dependent on him.

Could she do it? Live with him as a business arrangement, to help share the trials of providing feedings for two infants every two to three hours, without getting emotionally involved?

The four walls of her apartment were closing in on her, especially the way she couldn’t do anything. She longed to leave. Yet the idea of moving in with Jadon seemed too much like simply exchanging one type of prison for another.

Jadon figured he’d botched things with Alyssa for good. He hadn’t intended to bring up them moving in together, yet suddenly it had seemed like such a great idea. Obviously, by her horrified expression, she hadn’t shared his enthusiasm.

And her wishy-washy, gee-let-me-think-about-it response hadn’t been promising.

Seeing Alyssa in her cramped apartment, with her crooked Christmas tree, had bothered him. He couldn’t imagine how she’d possibly take care of two babies in the single-bedroom apartment. Especially as she didn’t have anyone to lean on for support. Her mother had passed away a few years ago and she was an only child.

The rest of Alyssa’s past was sketchy. He knew she was estranged from her father, but that was about it. They hadn’t made an attempt to know each other on a deeply personal level.

Their relationship had been physically intimate. He’d realized how much he was starting to care for her at the same time his family crisis had torn him away. He’d thought the distance would help.

But he’d missed her. Had thought about her a lot. Had missed their physical closeness.

A closeness he’d considered resuming once he’d returned, since he’d learned a lot about his brother’s illness while he’d been gone. He’d spent time with Jack’s doctor, who’d put some of his old fears to rest.

And, truthfully, he’d liked their hot, steamy nights together.

Alyssa’s pregnancy changed everything. He didn’t know anything about being a father. The idea of raising children, twins on top of it, secretly scared him. He knew, only too well, how things could go wrong.

With a sigh, he rubbed his aching temple and then decided to head for the shower. He was on for another night shift tonight, then had only one day off before working again on Wednesday night. At least he had Thursday and Friday off before being back on for the weekend. He’d been assigned the less-desirable graveyard shifts and weekends, but since the physician team had covered for him while he’d been gone for the past four and a half months, he couldn’t exactly complain.

Even though he personally would have rather stayed here, he understood there were feelings of resentment among the others.

Simon Carter had been pretty decent toward him. And there was a new guy, Quinn Torres, scheduled to start soon, to replace Ed Cagney, who’d just retired. But Seth Taylor had been another story. Seth couldn’t have made his feelings any clearer.

Monday night started out fairly quiet. He had to admit he was glad of the chance to ease back into the work he’d loved and hadn’t been able to do for so long.

At midnight, a woman carrying a small infant rushed in.

“He aspirated and started turning blue.” The woman was talking fast, but with the way she used medical terminology, he thought she was probably a doctor or a nurse. “I didn’t do any CPR, but used the bulb suction to keep his airway cleared.”

“Okay, let’s take a look.” They must not have called 911, but had driven here themselves. He reached for his peds stethoscope. “How old is the baby?”

“Ten days old.” Her voice shook as he gently took the baby and placed him on the infant table. Melanie, one of the nurses, placed a pulse-ox device on his forehead and then stripped off his little outfit to put tiny EKG patches on his chest.

“Pulse ox 86 percent,” Melanie said in a low tone. She fiddled with the heart monitor. “Heart rate 176.”

He nodded and used his stethoscope to listen to the little guy’s lungs. He definitely must have aspirated as Jadon could hear rales in the bases of his lungs.

“Did you witness the aspiration?” he asked the visibly upset mother.

She nodded. “It was my fault. All my fault. I had him propped on his side after his feeding, but I couldn’t have tucked the blanket securely enough behind his body. Next thing I know, he’s lying on his back, turning blue.” She momentarily closed her eyes. “It was awful.”

He gave her a reassuring smile. “Well, his pulse ox is coming back up, he’s almost at 90 percent. And his heart rate was pretty tachy, but that’s coming down, too. So far he’s not running a fever, but that probably won’t happen until tomorrow. Who’s your pediatrician?”

“Dr. Piterle, in the Pediatric Care Group.”

Jadon gave Melanie a nod and she left to get in touch with whichever pediatrician in the group happened to be on call. “Are you a nurse?”

“Yes, although I haven’t worked since having my daughter.”

“I thought so. What’s your son’s name? We need to get him admitted into the system.”

“Never mind, Dr. Reichert.” Wendy, the night shift admitting clerk, came into the room. “Dad’s here and gave us all the information we need. This little guy is Aiden Crosby.”

“My name is Diane and my husband is Steve.” Diane introduced her husband, who came into the room with a cute toddler in his arms. “And my daughter, Katie.”

Melanie returned. “Dr. Piterle was on call and he didn’t think Aiden needed to spend the night, but he does want to follow up with the baby tomorrow morning.”

Diane nodded with relief. “Okay, that’s fine.”

“Now, remember, if he runs a fever tomorrow, he’ll probably need a full course of antibiotics,” Jadon warned. “IV antibiotics since he’s so young. But for now his pulse ox and heart rate are back to normal, so he should be in the clear.”

“Thank you,” Diane said gratefully.

Jadon was glad the ten-day-old Aiden would be all right, but seeing the tiny baby only made him think about Alyssa and their twins. He was more convinced than ever that it would be best for her to move in with him. He took his responsibilities seriously. He needed to convince Alyssa to let him support her.

In the morning, he decided to stop at the grocery store for her, since she obviously couldn’t do it on her own. Rather than guess what she wanted to eat, he headed over to her apartment to get a list.

But when he pulled up, he saw Kylie, Seth and Ben hauling some grocery bags out of their car and trooping up to Alyssa’s apartment building. He was too late.

Alyssa didn’t really need him after all.

The ED was unusually quiet on Wednesday night when he entered the arena. When Jadon saw Alyssa standing near Susan, the charge nurse assigned to the night shift, discussing the various patient assignments, he was shocked.

How was it possible she was back at work already? Sure, she’d mentioned something about only being on bed rest for a few days and being scheduled to see Kim Rayborn today, but to already be released to work? It had to be too soon.

What if she started having contractions again?

“Hi, Alyssa,” he greeted her, careful to keep his tone light. “I see you’re back at work.”

“Jadon.” Her smile was fleeting. “It feels good to be back. I was going crazy sitting at home.”

He nodded, barely refraining from pointing out she didn’t have to be at her apartment all alone. He’d wanted her with him.

“Who wants to cover the trauma room?” Susan asked.

“I will,” Alyssa volunteered. She smiled at the new nurse, Maureen, who was learning the ropes. “Maureen can work with me.”

“Okay, I’ll put you guys down as first trauma coverage.” Susan scribbled on her clipboard.

“Did you see the full moon out there?” Alyssa said to Susan and Maureen. “It was so beautiful.”

“Yeah, beautiful.” Susan let out a loud snort. “You know what a full moon means—more work for us. The crazies will be out in full force.”

“Is that really true?” Maureen asked with wide eyes.

“You bet,” Susan said. She turned to Alyssa. “Remember last month, Alyssa? When the police brought us that guy who’d stripped down to his bare butt while standing right in the middle of Main Street? Like, what were we supposed to do with him? Other than put his clothes back on.” Susan rolled her eyes at the memory.

Alyssa nodded and let out a chuckle. “Yeah, he was a strange one all right.”

Jadon clenched his jaw at their slightly derogatory tone. He wanted to snap at them to shut up because obviously people couldn’t help having emotional illnesses, but he also knew they didn’t mean any harm. Alyssa and Susan were excellent nurses.

He was just being overly sensitive. He turned away, to focus his attention on the two patients who were still waiting to be transferred up to inpatient floor beds. He needed to make sure these patients were placed before new ones began to arrive.

They received their first trauma call about thirty minutes later, a car versus tree. The driver was a young man who luckily didn’t have severe injuries. Jadon and Alyssa fell into a familiar rhythm, working together as if he’d never left. When she handed him a chest tube insertion tray, the slightest brush of her fingers sent an unexpected yet familiar tingle of awareness zipping through his system.

“Thanks,” he managed.

The way she avoided his direct gaze convinced him she might have felt it, too. This sizzling attraction had drawn them irrevocably together the first time they’d met. Tonight was proof the passing of time hadn’t lessened the attraction.

He still wanted her.

There wasn’t time to dwell on the knowledge because as soon as they managed to get the patient stabilized, it was as if a dam had burst, the way the patients flooded in.

Loud screaming erupted from the ED waiting room.

Jadon glanced up in alarm. “Stay here,” he told Alyssa as he dashed through the doors into the waiting area to see what was going on.

“Don’t touch me! Leave me alone! I can’t listen—Don’t touch me!”

A man stood in the center of the room, his eyes wild, his clothes disheveled, a three-day growth of beard covering his face. He grabbed at the hair on his head with one hand, while waving a butter knife clutched in the other. While the butter knife wasn’t sharp, it could still be used as a weapon and the few people in the waiting room were pressed against the back wall, giving the guy a wide berth.

“Easy, now,” Jadon said, waving a hand at the others to indicate everyone should stay back. He prayed Alyssa hadn’t followed him in. She was pregnant. He didn’t want her anywhere near this guy. “No one is going to touch you. I promise, no one is going to touch you.”

“I can’t. They won’t stop—I can’t listen. Don’t touch me.” The man was clearly in distress, and Jadon knew that if he didn’t help this man calm down, he might quickly turn violent.

And violence meant someone would get hurt.

Not Alyssa. Please, keep Alyssa safe from harm.

“No one is going to hurt you. You can relax now. I can help you. You’re safe here.” Jadon understood, only too well, that while this man seemed crazy, his wild actions were the result of a deep fear.

Fear of what, he wasn’t sure. Something the rest of them couldn’t see but that was very real to this man, nonetheless.

He continued to talk to the man holding the butter knife in a calm tone, reassuring him he was safe here. No matter how much he wanted to turn around and look for Alyssa, to make sure she was safe, Jadon didn’t break eye contact with the patient. And as he continued to talk him down, he hoped the hospital staff, including the security guards, were busy getting the other patients and their families out of the waiting room, just in case.

Psych crisis de-escalation techniques didn’t always work the way they were intended to. It paid to be prepared for anything.

“I’m here to help you. You’re safe here. My name is Jadon. What’s yours?”

“Mitch. Mitchell Park Conservatory. I’m Mitch, but I’m not crazy. I don’t have to listen.”

Jadon wasn’t sure if this guy’s name was really Mitch or not, as the Mitchell Park Conservatory was actually three horticultural domes that served as a local tourist attraction in Milwaukee, but he decided to go with it. “It’s nice to meet you, Mitch. You’re here in the safe zone where no one can hurt you. It’s my job to keep you safe. You’re not crazy. I think you’re scared. But you don’t have to be afraid. You’re safe with me.”

The more he repeated himself, and key phrases like You’re safe here with me, the better chance he had of convincing Mitch to calm down enough to let go of the butter knife. Jadon suspected Mitch was suffering from some form of schizophrenia, especially if he was really hearing voices in his head.

He wanted to hurry and get the guy some treatment, but rushing him would only make things worse, so he forced himself to take his time, to remain calm and to keep his gaze trained on Mitch, hyperaware of his every movement.

It took him nearly twenty minutes, but Mitch eventually gave up his knife and agreed to go into an examination room. Jadon steered him toward the opposite end of the emergency department where they could isolate him to a certain extent from the other patients.

“Nice job,” Alyssa said in a quiet voice, once he’d given Mitch a mild sedative, a similar dose, they’d discovered in going through his old records, to the one that he should have been taking at home.

“Thanks. I’m glad you stayed far away,” he admitted.

She frowned. “Of course. I’m not stupid.”

He winced. “I didn’t mean to say you were. I was just worried about you.”

Alyssa stared at him for a long moment and he wanted to pull her close and kiss her, but they didn’t have that kind of relationship. Not anymore. Finally she turned away and he heard her calling the psych crisis center for Mitch.

“See?” he heard Susan say to Maureen. “You thought we were kidding, didn’t you? I told you the crazies would be out. Mitch is a true nutcase.”

Her derogatory tone caused him to spin around, pinning her with a fierce glare. “He’s not crazy, he’s sick,” he said in a low, furious tone. “His illness isn’t any different from having diabetes or congestive heart failure. And I don’t want to hear you call him a nutcase again, do you understand?”

Susan’s eyes widened and she took a hasty step back, making him irritated all over again, especially when he realized Alyssa was staring at him with troubled concern. “Sure. I’m sorry, Dr. Reichert.”

Only slightly mollified, he turned away, continuing to see patients one after the other as the full moon kept its promise of keeping them busy.

Mitch had brought all Jadon’s old fears to the surface. He should stay far away from Alyssa, yet he couldn’t make himself. When he realized he was creating excuses to be near her, he knew Mitch wasn’t the crazy one.

He was.

Because it was crazy to want something he could never have.