Читать книгу Not That Kind of Girl: A Young Woman Tells You What She’s “Learned” - Lena Dunham - Страница 11

1. “My nickname in high school was Blow-Job Lena, but because I gave NO blow jobs! Like when you call a fat guy Skinny Joe.”

2. “I only get BO in one armpit. Swear. Same with my mother.”

3. “I once woke up in the middle of sex with a virtual stranger!”

4. “Let’s meet for coffee, yeah. Well, not coffee coffee. Like a different drink, because coffee gave me a colon infection and I had to wear this paper underwear the hospital gave me.”

5. “Not to sound like a total hippie, but I cured my HPV with acupuncture.”

6. “He had no legs, and HE wasn’t into ME. But that’s not why we stopped being friends.”

7. “I’ve never seen Star Wars OR The Godfather, so that would be a good excuse for us to spend a bunch of time together.”

8. “I was a really chubby teenager, covered in a thick layer of grease. Seriously, I’ll show you a picture.”

9. “You should come over. My dad is super funny.”

10. “I’m the kind of person who should probably date older guys, but I can’t deal with their balls.”

11. “I’m obsessed with the curtains in your van!”

12. “Come to my party! We can’t talk or make noise because my neighbor is dying, but I spent a ton of money on salami.”

13. “Get closer to my belly button. Does this look like shingles, scabies, both, or neither?”

14. “This one time, I thought I was petting my hairless cat, and it was actually my mom’s vagina. Over the covers, of course!”

15. “Sorry if my breath is kind of metallic. It’s my medication. Weird fact: I’m on the highest dose of this stuff on record.”

16. “I seriously don’t care if you shoplift.”

17. “I appreciate that you didn’t point out my huge weight loss. It’s exhausting, everyone being like ‘How did you do it? Blah-blah-blah.’ ”

18. “My sister went back inside, so I think we’re safe. Wanna sit on the rock that doesn’t have algae? Or the algae one is fine, too.”