Читать книгу Sister Lilian’s Pregnancy & Birth Companion - Lilian Paramor - Страница 25

Whatever your reasons for deciding to have a baby, the realities of parenting often prove to be quite a shock. What qualities do you need to cultivate in order to be a successful parent?

Birth preparation classes seldom inform parents of the all-important role the ability to relax (under any and all circumstances) plays. Prospective parents need to take time off from the adrenaline rush of modern adult life. Tuning in to a slower pace of life in pregnancy and your child’s earlier years is probably the quality that will leave you saying, ‘I enjoyed that time.’ How seldom parents say that!

Cultivate an awareness of your inner child. Men are usually better at this than women. Rediscover the magic of life seen through a child’s eyes and don’t fall easily into the trap of forgetting a child’s perspective.

Do not be too hurried. Your baby will register less stress, and so will you.

Most parents have no difficulty finding a bottomless supply of love for their little ones, although they don’t always like them or what they do! This is quite normal.

Do not fall into the trap, though, of rating the physical needs of your children higher than the emotional ones.

If love is easily come by, that is less true of patience. It sometimes helps to remember that children and adults have very different perspectives on life. Their priorities are very different from your own. The idea is not to see whose spirit is broken first but to find ways of living together amicably.

It is especially with our first children that we are constantly part of an experiment – everything that comes your way is done for the first time, even it if it is your 25-year-old asking for advice on romance. Be lenient with yourself, while ensuring that your actions are not to your baby or child’s detriment.

I believe that a little inefficiency is imperative for good parenting. Your child is not a tangible task to be dealt with efficiently, as you would a task at work. Many of us have children later in life and are used to organising our careers and households with predictable competence. We try to carry this over to our parenting. Don’t! It won’t succeed.