Читать книгу Sister Lilian’s Pregnancy & Birth Companion - Lilian Paramor - Страница 26

Just as there is no ‘best age’ to have a baby, there is no ‘correct’ age gap between children. With any gap of more than four years, it is almost like raising two single children. Just as you are done with the small baby work, you start all over again. Two babies closer together than two years is quite hard work for a mom, but with a supportive partner or structure around the home, it can be managed. Obviously, individual circumstances affect the equation. If either baby has any problems (health or behavioural), the strain of having children close in age could be greater.

It is very common to feel anxious about whether or not you will find enough love for a second child, when you love that first one so deeply. Will you have the energy and emotional ability to care as well for a second baby? Love for children multiplies, it does not divide. Do not be concerned about that. It is generally also easier to raise two children than one, as they entertain each other and can share at a level that you would otherwise be pressurised to fulfil. In the long run, there is also less loneliness. Children learn about sharing, conflict resolution and the need to respect others when there is more than one sibling.

The first six months after the birth of a second baby are usually quite busy, but after that the going gets easier. There is almost always a little regression in the older child and a bit of sibling rivalry. Handled with patience, the involvement of the older child, not putting pressure on the older one to be ‘big’ and realising that it is different to the first time when you could give Baby your undivided attention, you will cope with this phase.