Читать книгу AGREEMENTS: Lessons I Chose on My Journey toward the Light - Linda Stein-Luthke - Страница 20

We now enter the stage of my life that, in hindsight, I have ruefully called the “blithering idiot” stages I and II. I have had many opportunities to experience this condition, some lasting longer than others, but those were the first blatant examples and, as I look back, have become the most noteworthy.

Here is how it started: I finally fell into a fitful sleep on the night of that extraordinary encounter, and when I awoke the next morning, I tried to explain what had happened to my husband. He listened politely and intently. His eyes opened wide during some of my explanation and I knew he was wondering what possible response he could give that would not leave me in an even greater state of agitation than I was already exhibiting.

Of course, nothing like this had ever happened to him, but I asked anyway and immediately felt a chasm open between us that I somehow knew would never close. He knew from past experience that when I became interested in something, I would exhaust the subject until I had learned everything about it I possibly could. Would he be able to understand this? Would he even want to try?

Feminist art, helping to start a foundation, working as a manager for a large corporation, raising children that were not his own – those were things he could understand. Those were quantifiable areas that he could relate to on some level. But just as I had no frame of reference for what had occurred here, he had none either. How do you relate to something that has no third-dimensional reference? You don’t. You can’t. I couldn’t.

As he left for work that day, my heart went out to him. He, too, knew the chasm was there. He also knew I would have to fill that chasm with knowledge that he might possibly never be able to understand. But because we loved each other very much, I wanted to believe that we both had hopes that this love would carry us through this event as much as it had during every other challenge.

Over the next couple of days, I found myself talking to everyone I knew regarding what had happened. I had to find someone, anyone who had had such an experience and could help me understand. I wanted answers. I needed an explanation!

But nothing like this had ever happened to anyone I knew. My best efforts to explain what had taken place left many of my family and friends wondering if I’d simply lost my mind. After several encounters that were met with responses ranging from incredulity to something that felt akin to fear, I realized that I needed to stop being a blithering idiot and I became resigned to figuring this out on my own. -- I felt very alone.

Given the fact that all my talking was separating me from everyone in my world, I wasn’t real eager to try for such an experience again. I was frightened. Whatever had happened, as wonderful as it had felt at the time, was not endearing me to anyone in my life.

Nobody wanted to hear about, or talk about it with me. I was beginning to wonder if it was just some stupid silly dream. I wondered if maybe it was better to just forget it and go back to life as I had known it before that night. That would certainly have made sense considering all the discomfort it was causing.

But I couldn’t. I couldn’t forget about it. I found myself thinking about it all the time. This would never do. I had to find some answers.

Fortunately, one of my favorite authors, Shirley MacLaine, [Fortunately, one of my favorite authors, Shirley MacLaine] had written a new book. I had read everything she’d ever written, and had a great deal of respect for her intelligent, inquisitive mind. One of my favorite books by her had described a trip she had taken to China. The title of her latest book was Out on a Limb. It told of her experiences in the world of metaphysics.

This book saved my sanity! She was telling her story about experiences that had happened to her that defied explanation. Oh my God! I wasn’t alone. Here was a famous actress, respected in every area of her life, saying that she, too, had encounters that we couldn’t make sense of in our world. But they had happened. There was no denying it and she was willing to not only talk about it but write a book about it.

I devoured the book and decided to read each and every book she referred to in Out on a Limb. The first book I chose to read that she had mentioned was entitled Seth Speaks. The book was channeled by a woman named Jane Roberts. Seth is a disembodied being who came through Jane Roberts to describe the nature of our world from the perspective of the higher realms of consciousness. Much to my surprise, the book seemed quite easy for me to read and comprehend. I couldn’t put it down. The book ranged in topics from reincarnation to the true nature of our physical forms, to manifestation and on to the nature of the cosmos. It was a crash course in metaphysics and I resonated with every word in it.

This answered a myriad of questions for me. At last, my confusion was clearing. The book helped me understand that I’d had an encounter with a higher vibrational being with whom I’d agreed to be in contact during this lifetime. I didn’t know who this being was or where it had come from. I remembered the love that I felt in its presence and this convinced me that there was nothing to fear. Now I was eager to connect with this presence again.

Seth Speaks gave suggestions for meditating. I decided to give it a try. As soon as I positioned myself and began to breathe, I found myself having another amazing experience. I was going into one past life after another with no effort at all. I knew these were past lives because the clothing reflected periods in history. I could feel myself being “me” in these visions, only I looked and dressed differently. It was as if I was taking roles in different plays that I was also watching. I was in the audience and on the stage at the same time. The visions were very clear. I could easily feel all of my emotions as I watched the pivotal moments in those lives. I knew the importance of the stories and how it related to who I was now -- and yet it was something separate from the person I call Linda in this life.

Even more interesting to me was that I was recognizing people that were alive with me now as they appeared and related to me in those other lifetimes. This information seemed most extraordinary to me and I was eager to share this knowledge with those people. I simply couldn’t help myself. Phase II of the “blithering idiot” stage was in full swing as I went around to all these folks and told them how I had known them in past lives. Again, my enthusiastic revelations were met with incredulity and a bit of fear. When would I ever learn?