Читать книгу International Students’ Survival Guide - Литагент HarperCollins USD, Ю. Д. Земенков, Koostaja: Ajakiri New Scientist - Страница 31

Stage 2: The “let down” is a common sticking place. Those who are stuck at Stage 2 complain all the time. Every new day seems to bring new bad experiences, and each bad experience seems to confirm the complainer’s most negative opinions of the host country and the people who live there. Complainers are miserable and hard to be with.

In order to understand why this happens, it’s important to remember that living abroad is very challenging, even if you’re normally an easy-going person. You’ll probably struggle to understand others and make yourself understood. You’ll sometimes misunderstand the “unspoken rules” of your host culture and make some embarrassing mistakes. You may have to rely on others more often than you’re used to. You may feel like a child again. All of these things can make you feel very vulnerable. For people who are used to being good at things, feeling vulnerable may feel like not being good enough. Feeling this way about yourself can be difficult. Without realizing it, you may “project” these unpleasant feelings onto others. For example, rather than simply accepting your own feelings of confusion, you might blame your host country for being “disorganized” and “confusing.”

To prevent this from happening to you, try to have realistic expectations of yourself. Being vulnerable is not the same as being inadequate. Take things slowly and give yourself time to learn. With each small success, give yourself a small reward—do something you particularly enjoy, for example. If you know people who are willing to talk honestly about their experiences, open up to them and share stories of your mistakes and embarrassing moments. Experiences that were humiliating at the time can seem funny when you share them with someone you trust. Eat well, exercise, and try to go to bed at a regular time. Above all, be kind to yourself. When you’re kind to yourself, it’s easier to be more generous to others.