Читать книгу The Yummy Mummy’s Family Handbook - Liz Fraser - Страница 57

1. Be polite.

2. When Mummy calls you go to the toilet, wash your hands and come down.

3. Sit up straight, but sit down at the table.

4. Don’t spit or stick your tongue out.

5. Do not sing, hum or whistle.

6. Don’t talk with your mouth full.

8. Say thank you to Mummy or Daddy before you start.

9. Do not get down from the table unless you have asked Mummy or Daddy and they have said ‘yes’.

10. No elbows on the table.

11. Never say ‘Yuk!’

12. No shouting.

13. No sitting on the high stools at the table.

14. Don’t wave your hands about in the air.

15. Don’t distract one another.

16. Don’t get other people into trouble.

17. No sitting on the table.

18. No taking food off other people’s plates and no putting food on other people’s plates (unless you are Mummy or Daddy).

19. No sitting on anything except the bench or chairs.

20. Don’t spit your food out.

Careful readers will notice that No. 7 is missing. I’m not sure whether this is because my kids can’t count properly, or whether they are so very, very clever that they have deliberately left a gap into which any clause required to win an argument can be inserted. I rather suspect the latter, and am constantly on my guard for any ‘It doesn’t say we can’t hide peas in our belly buttons’ type of cheek.

All of these rules have been created because whatever they refer to was either done or not done so many times that either my husband or I couldn’t stand it any more. They are still frequently broken, but we can always refer to the list and threaten Bed with No Stories, which pulls everyone back into line. There have been minor attempts at revolt (No. 5 doesn’t say you can’t Kazoo at the table; No. 14 doesn’t say you can’t wave your hand about in front of your siblings’ faces, and so on), but in general it has really worked a treat.