Читать книгу Christmas Kisses Collection - Джанис Мейнард, Louise Allen - Страница 24

LANCE TRIED TO imagine how a four-year-old would react to walking in on her father in a compromising situation with a woman who wasn’t her mother. He couldn’t imagine it. His own family took commitment seriously. When they gave their word, their heart to another they meant it.

His own heart squeezed. Hadn’t he given his word to Shelby? Hadn’t he promised to love her forever? To not ever forget the young girl who’d taught him what it meant to care for another, who’d brought him from boyhood to manhood?

He had. He did. He would. Forever.

He owed her so much.

“That must have been traumatic,” he mused, not knowing exactly what to say but wanting to comfort McKenzie all the same. Wanting not to think of Shelby right now. Lately he’d not wanted to think of her a lot, and had resented how much he thought of her, of how guilty he felt that he didn’t want to think of her anymore.

How could he not want to think of her when it was his fault she was no longer living the life she had been meant to live? When if it wasn’t for him she’d be a doctor? Be making a difference in so many people’s lives?

“It wasn’t the first time he’d cheated.”

Lance stared at McKenzie’s pale face. “How do you know?”

“My mother launched herself at them, screaming and yelling and clawing and…well, you get the idea. She said some pretty choice things that my father didn’t deny.”

“You were only four,” he reminded her, trying to envision the scene from a four-year-old’s perspective and shuttering on the inside at the horror. “Maybe you misunderstood.”

She shook her head. “He doesn’t deserve you or anyone else defending him. He doesn’t even bother defending himself anymore. Just says it’s genetic and he can’t help himself.”

“Bull.”

That had McKenzie’s head shooting up. “What?”

“Bull. If he really loved someone else more than he loved himself then being faithful wouldn’t be an issue. It would be easy, what came naturally from that love.”

McKenzie took a deep breath. “Then maybe that’s the problem. No one has ever been able to compete with his own self-love. Not my mother, not his other wives or girlfriends and certainly not me.”

There was a depth of pain in her voice that made Lance’s heart ache for her. “Did he have more children?”

McKenzie shook her head. “He had a vasectomy so that mistake would never happen again.”

“Implying that you were a mistake?”

McKenzie shrugged.

“He’s a fool, McKenzie. A stupid, selfish fool.”

“Agreed.” She brushed her hands over her thighs then stood. “I’m going to get a drink of water. You need anything?”

“Just you.”

She paused. “Sorry, but the discussion about my parents has killed any possibility of that for some time.”

“Not what I meant.”

She stared down at him. “Then what did you mean?”

Good question. What had he meant?

That he needed her?

Physically? They were powerful in bed together. But it was more than sex. Mentally, she challenged him with her quick intelligence and wit. Emotionally…emotionally she had him a tangled-up mess. A tangled-up mess he had no right to be feeling.

He’d asked her to give him two months. That’s all she planned to give him, that’s all he’d thought he’d wanted from McKenzie.

Usually he had long-lasting relationships even though he knew they were never going anywhere. He’d always been up-front with whomever he’d been dating on that point. When things came to an end, he’d always been okay with it, his heart not really involved.

With McKenzie he’d wanted that time limit as much as she had, because everything had felt different right from the start.

She made him question everything.

The past. The present. The future. What had always seemed so clear was now a blurred unknown.

That they had planned a definite ending was a good thing, the best thing. He had a vow to keep. Guilt mingled in with whatever else was going on. Horrible, horrible guilt that would lie heavily on his shoulders for the rest of his life.

“I’ll take that glass of water after all,” he said in way of an answer to her question. Not that it was an answer, but it was all he knew to say.

“Yeah, this conversation has left a bad taste in both our mouths.”

Something like that.

“Edith came in to see me this morning.”

Lance glanced up from his desk. “How is she doing?”

McKenzie sank down in the chair across from his desk. “Quite well, really. She had a long list of complaints, of course. But overall she looked good and the latest imaging of her chest shows that her pulmonary embolism has resolved.”

“That’s fantastic. She’s a feisty thing.”

“That she is.”

He studied her a moment then set down the pen he held, walked around his desk, shut his office door, then wrapped his arms around her.

“What are you doing?”

“Shh…” he told her. “Don’t say anything.”

Not that his arms didn’t feel amazing, but she frowned up at him. “Don’t tell me what to do.”

He chuckled. “You’re such a stubborn woman.”

“You’re just now figuring that out, Mr. Persistence?”

“No, I knew that going in.”

“And?”

“I can appreciate that fact about you even if it drives me crazy at times.”

“Such as now?”

He shook his head. “Not really because for all your protesting, you are still letting me hold you.”

“Why are you holding me? I thought we agreed we wouldn’t do this at work? You promised me we wouldn’t.”

“This is a hug between friends. A means of offering comfort and support. I never promised not to give you those things when you obviously need a hug.”

“Oh.” Because really what could she say to that? He was right. She obviously had needed a hug. His hug.

Only being in his arms, her body pressed close to his, her nostrils filled with his spicy clean scent, made her aware of all the other things she needed him for, too.

Things she didn’t need to be distracted by at work.

She pulled from his arms and he let her go.

“Sorry I bothered you. I just wanted to let you know about Edith and that I’d be at the hospital during lunch.”

“I’ll see you there.”

“But—”

“I’ll see you there,” he repeated.

“You’re a persistent man, Lance.”

“You’re a stubborn woman, McKenzie.”

A smile tugged at her lips. “Fine, I’ll see you at the hospital at lunch.”

Lance had a Celebration Graduation meeting for last-minute Valentine’s Day dance planning that he’d tried to convince McKenzie to attend with him. She didn’t want to get too involved in his pet projects because their days together as a couple were dwindling. The more entangled their lives were the more difficult saying goodbye was going to be.

McKenzie’s phone rang and she almost didn’t answer when she saw that it was her mother. When she heard what her mother had to say she wished she hadn’t.

“I’m getting married.”

Three little words that had McKenzie dropping everything and agreeing to meet her mother at her house.

Violet’s house was the same house where McKenzie had grown up. McKenzie’s father had paid for the house where they’d lived when he’d first been starting his law career. He’d also provided a monthly check that had apparently abdicated him of all other obligations to his daughter.

“Whatever is going through your head?” McKenzie asked the moment she walked into her mother’s living room. She came to a halt when she saw the man sitting on her mother’s sofa. The one who was much younger than her mother. “How old are you?”

“What does it matter how old he is?” her mother interrupted. “Age is only a number.”

“Mom, if I’m older than him, I’m walking out of this house right now.”

Her mother glanced at the man and giggled. Giggled. “He’s eight years older than you, McKenzie.”

“Which means he’s ten years younger than you,” McKenzie reminded her. She wasn’t a prude, didn’t think relationships should be bound by age, except for when it came to her mother. Her mother dating a man so much younger just didn’t sit well.

“Yes, I am a lucky woman that Yves has fallen for me in my old, decrepit state,” her mother remarked wryly. “Thank goodness I’ll have him around to help me with my walker and picking out a nursing home.”

“Mom…” McKenzie began, then glanced back and forth between her mother and the man she was apparently engaged to. She sank down onto her mother’s sofa. “So, maybe you should tell me more about this whole getting-married bit since I know for a fact you were single at the beginning of the year.”

She was used to her father marrying on a whim, but her mother had been single since the day she’d divorced McKenzie’s father almost three decades ago. Violet dated and chased men, but she didn’t marry.

“I met Yves at a New Year’s Eve party.”

“You met him just over a month ago. Don’t you think it’s a little quick to be getting engaged?”

“Getting married,” her mother corrected, holding out her hand to show McKenzie the ring on her finger. “We’re already engaged.”

The stone wasn’t a diamond, but was a pretty emerald that matched the color of her mother’s eyes perfectly.

“When is the wedding supposed to take place?”

“Valentine’s Day.”

Valentine’s Day. The first day McKenzie would be without Lance and her mother was walking down the aisle.

She regarded her mother. “You’re sure about this?”

“Positive.”

“Why now? After all this time, why would you choose to marry again?”

“The only reason I’ve not remarried all these years is because I hadn’t met the right person, McKenzie. I have had other proposals over the years, I just haven’t wanted to say yes until Yves.”

Other proposals? McKenzie hadn’t known. Still, her mother. Married.

“Does Dad know?”

“What does it matter if your father knows that I’m going to remarry? He has nothing to do with my life.”

“Mom, if you remarry Dad will quit sending you a check every month. How are you going to get by?”

“I’ll take care of her,” Yves popped up, moving to stand protectively by Violet.

“And how are you going to do that?”

“I run a health-food store on the square.”

McKenzie had read about a new store opening on the square, had been planning to swing by to check out what they had.

“He more than runs it,” Violet bragged. “He owns the store. Plus, he has two others that are already successful in towns nearby.”

So maybe the guy wasn’t after her mother for a free ride.

“You know I don’t need your permission to get married, McKenzie.”

“I know that, Mother.”

“But I had hoped you’d be happy for me.”

McKenzie cringed on the inside. How was she supposed to be happy for her mother when she worried that her mother was just going to be hurt yet again? She’d seen her devastation all those years ago, had watched the depression take hold and not let go for years. Why would she want her mother to risk that again? Especially with a man so much younger than she was?

She must have asked the last question out loud because her mother beamed at Yves, placed her hand in his and answered, “Because for the first time in a long time, maybe ever, I know what it feels like to be loved. It’s a wonderful feeling, McKenzie. I hope that someday you know exactly what I mean.”

Lance hit McKenzie’s number for what had to be the dozenth time. Why wasn’t she answering her phone?

He’d driven out to her place, but she wasn’t home. Where would she be? Cecilia’s perhaps? He’d drive out there, too, but that made him feel a little too desperate.

Unfortunately, he was the bearer of bad news regarding a patient she’d sent to the emergency room earlier. The man had been in the midst of a heart attack and had been airlifted to Atlanta. When the hospital hadn’t been able to reach McKenzie they’d called him, thinking he might be with her.

He would like to be with her. He should be with her. Instead, he’d sat through the last meeting before the Valentine’s Day dance. They had everything under control and the event should be a great fund-raiser.

But where was McKenzie?

He was just getting ready to pull out of her driveway when her car came down the street and turned in.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, getting out of her car. “It’s almost ten.”

Yeah, he should have gone home. He didn’t have to tell her tonight. Nothing would have been lost by her not finding out about the man until the next morning.

“I was worried about you.”

“I’m fine.”

“I’ll go, then. I was just concerned when you didn’t answer your phone.”

“Sorry. I had my ringer turned off. I was at my mother’s.”

Her mother that he’d not met yet.

“She’s getting married.”

“Married?”

“Seems after all this time she’s met the man of her dreams.”

“You don’t sound very happy about it.”

She shrugged. “He’s growing on me.”

“Someone I know?”

“Unlikely. He just opened up the new health-food store on the square.”

“Yves St. Claire?”

Her brows veed. “That’s him. You know him?”

“I met him a few days after he opened the store. Great place he has there. Seems like a nice enough fellow.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“Doesn’t he seem too young for my mother?”

“I’ve never met your mother so I wouldn’t know, but age is just a number.”

“That’s what she said.”

“If I were younger than you, would it matter, McKenzie?”

“For our intents and purposes, I suppose that depends on how much younger. I don’t mess with jailbait.”

He laughed, leaned back against his car. “Glad I have a few years on you, then.”

“Do you want to come inside?”

Relief washed over him. “I thought you’d never ask.”

February the thirteenth fell on a Friday and McKenzie was convinced that the day truly was a bad-luck day.

Today was it. The end of her two months with Lance.

She’d promised herself there would be no fuss, no muss, just a quick and painless goodbye. He had his dance tomorrow night and no doubt by next week he’d have a new love interest.

But she couldn’t quite convince herself of that.

Something in the way Lance looked at her made her think he wouldn’t quickly replace her but might instead take some time to get over her.

Unfortunately, she might require that time, too.

Lots and lots of recovery time, though perhaps not the three decades’ worth her mother had taken to blossom into a woman in love.

Her mother was in love. And loved.

Over the past several days McKenzie had been fitted for a maid-of-honor dress and had met Yves’s best friend for his tux fitting. Her mother was getting married at a local church in a small, simple ceremony the following day.

“You’re not planning to see me at all tonight?” Lance asked.

She shook her head. “My mother’s wedding-rehearsal dinner is tonight.”

“I could go with you.”

“That would be a bad idea.”

“Why?”

“Our last night together and we go to a wedding rehearsal? Think about it. That’s just all kinds of wrong. Plus, I don’t want you there, Lance.”

He winced and she almost retracted her words. Part of her did want him there. Another part knew the sooner they parted the sooner she could get back to the regularly scheduled program of her life. Her time with Lance had been a nice interlude from reality.

“I should tell you that Yves invited me to the wedding.”

“I don’t want you there,” she said.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Without another word, he left her office.

McKenzie’s heart shuddered at the soft closing of her office door as if the noise had echoed throughout the building.

She went to her mother’s rehearsal dinner, smiled and performed her role as maid of honor. Truth was, watching her mother and Yves left her heart aching.

Feeling a little bereft at the thought she was soon to be single again.

Which was ridiculous.

She liked being single.

She thrived on being single.

She didn’t want to be like her parents.

Only watching her mother glow, hearing her happy laughter, maybe she wouldn’t mind being a little like her mother.

McKenzie got home a little after eleven. She’d not heard from Lance all evening. She’d half expected him to be waiting in her driveway.

No, more than half. She had expected him to be there.

That he wasn’t left her feeling deflated.

Their last night together and they weren’t together.

Would never be together again.

Sleep didn’t come easily but unfortunately her tears did.

This was exactly why she should never have agreed to more than a month with him. Anything more was just too messy.

Lance sat in the fourth pew back on the groom’s side. There were only about fifty or so people in the church when the music started and the groom and his best man joined the preacher at the front of the building. The music changed and a smiling McKenzie came down the aisle. Her gaze remained locked on the altar, as if she was afraid to look around. Maybe she was.

Maybe she had been serious in that she really hadn’t wanted him to attend. Certainly, she hadn’t contacted him last night. He’d checked his phone several times, thinking she might. She hadn’t. He’d told himself that was a good thing, that McKenzie sticking to their original agreement made it easier for him to do so too.

Their two months was over.

The music changed and everyone stood, turned to watch the bride walk down the aisle to her groom.

Lance had never met McKenzie’s mother, but he would have recognized the older version of McKenzie anywhere. Same green eyes. Same fine bone structure.

Seeing McKenzie made his insides ache.

Part of him wanted to ask her for more time, for another day, another week, another month.

But he couldn’t.

Wouldn’t.

He’d vowed to Shelby that he’d remain committed to her memory.

To spend more time with McKenzie would be wrong.

He wasn’t free to be with her and never would be.

“You invited Dad?” McKenzie whispered, thinking her knees might buckle as she took her mother’s bouquet from her.

Her mother’s smile was full of merriment, but she didn’t answer, just turned back to her groom to exchange her vows.

The exchange of wedding vows was brief and beautiful. McKenzie cried as her mother read the vows she’d written for a man she’d known for less than two months.

Less than the time McKenzie had been dating Lance.

McKenzie outright wept when Yves said his vows back to her mother. Okay, so if the man loved her mother all his days the way he loved her today, he and McKenzie would get along just fine and her mother was a lucky woman.

The preacher announced the happy couple as Mr. and Mrs. Yves St. Clair and presented them to their guests.

A few photos were taken, then the reception began. McKenzie spotted Lance talking to a tall blonde someone had told her earlier was Yves’s cousin. A deep green pain stabbed her, but she refused to acknowledge it or him. She headed toward her father, who was downing a glass of something alcoholic.

“I can’t believe you are here.”

He frowned into his empty glass. “She invited me.”

“You didn’t have to come.”

His gaze met hers. “Sure I did. Today is a big day for me, too.”

“Freedom from alimony?” she said drily.

For the first time in a long time her father’s smile was real and reached his eyes. “Exactly.”

“She seems really happy.”

That had her father pausing and glancing toward her mother. “Yeah, she does. Good for her.”

“What about you? Where is your wife?”

He shrugged. “At home, I imagine.”

He excused himself and went and joined the conversation with Lance and the blonde. No doubt he’d have the blonde cornered in just a few minutes.

He must have because Lance walked up shortly afterward to where McKenzie stood.

“You look very beautiful,” he said quietly.

Okay, so a smart girl wouldn’t let him see how his words warmed her insides. A smart girl would play it cool. McKenzie tried. “Cecilia works wonders.”

“She is indeed talented.”

Their conversation was stilted, awkward. The conversation of former lovers who didn’t know what to say to each other.

“I see you met my father,” she said to fill the silence.

Shock registered on Lance’s face. “That was your father?”

McKenzie laughed at his surprise. “Yes. Sorry he moved in on Yves’s cousin while you were talking her up.”

“I wasn’t talking her up,” he replied. “And, for the record, had I been interested in her no one would have moved in, including your father.” He glanced around until his gaze lit on where her father still chatted with the blonde, who laughed a little too flirtatiously. “Isn’t he married?”

She nodded. “Fidelity isn’t his thing. I’ve mentioned that before.”

Lance’s expression wasn’t pleasant. “Seems odd for him to be here, at your mother’s wedding.”

“I thought the same thing, but my mother invited him and he came. They are a bit weird that way. Something else I’ve mentioned.”

Lance’s gaze met McKenzie’s and locked for a few long seconds before he glanced at his watch as if pressed for time. “Sorry to rush off, but I’ve got to head out to help with the Valentine’s Day dance tonight.”

“Oh. I forgot.” Had her disappointment that he wasn’t going to stay for a while shown? Of course it had.

He reached out, touched her cheek. “McKenzie, there’s so much I could say to you.”

“But?”

“But you already know everything I’d say.”

“Not everything.”

His brow rose and she shook her head. Now wasn’t the time to ask him about Shelby. That time had come and gone.

Apparently he agreed because he said, “It’s been fun.”

She nodded, hoping the tears she felt prickling her eyes didn’t burst free.

“Your car door was unlocked and I left something for you in the front seat of your car.”

Her gaze lifted to his. “What? Why would you do that?”

“Just a little something for Valentine’s Day.”

He’d gotten her a gift for Valentine’s Day? But they’d ended things the day before. She had not bought him the standard card. “I didn’t get you anything.”

“You didn’t need to. Our two months is finished, just as we are.” He glanced at his watch again. “Goodbye, McKenzie.” Then, right there in the reception hall in front of her mother, her father and her brand-new stepfather, Lance kissed her.

Not a quick peck but a real kiss. Not a dragged-out one but one jam-packed with emotion all the same. One that demanded the same emotion back from her.

McKenzie blinked up at him. He looked as if he was about to say something but instead shook his head and left.

“Who was that man, McKenzie?” her mother asked, immediately joining her as Lance exited the building.

“That’s what I want to know,” her father practically bellowed. “Why was he kissing you?”

“Why is he leaving?” Her mother asked the more pressing question.

“He’s just someone I work with,” she mumbled, not wanting to discuss Lance.

“She gets that from you,” her mother told her father. “The idea she’s supposed to kiss people she works with.”

“Violet,” her father began, crossing his arms and giving her a sour look.

But her mother seemed to shake off her thoughts and smiled. “Come, let me introduce you to your much younger, more virile and loyal replacement.”

“Sure took you long enough,” her father gibed.

“Some of us are more choosy than others.”

McKenzie watched her parents walk away together, bickering back and forth. It wasn’t even six in the evening and exhaustion hit her.

Much, much later, after she’d waved sparklers at her mother and Yves’s exit, McKenzie gathered up her belongings from the church classroom where the bridal party had gotten ready.

When she got into her car, her gaze immediately went to the passenger floorboard where she saw a vase full of red roses. On the passenger seat was a gift box. Chocolates?

She doubted it due to the odd box size. She ripped open the package, and gave a trembling smile at what was inside.

A new pair of running shoes.