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TWO

Unleashing Your Inner Athlete

I AM AN ATHLETE. When I run the streets of my neighborhood with my running tribe around me, pushing my body to its limits, sweat dripping from my forehead, I am an athlete. When I race across the finish line, swim my final lap, or finish a particularly challenging fitness class, I am an athlete. And you can become an athlete too.

In the past I tried many times to find my way to an active life. Maybe you can relate: I would start an activity only to get discouraged and end up back on the couch, feeling guilty and defeated. I would be overly enthusiastic and join a new gym, commit myself to a two-year contract, and vow that this time I would finally get my shit together. I would shift excessively into “all” mode and then in fairly short order slip back into “nothing” mode, then add up more failure and disappointment.

I was convinced, and maybe you are too, that athletics and the healthful life I desired were reserved for a group of thin elites. Why was I convinced that I could only be an athlete if I fit a particular body type?

“Athlete,” as defined by the Oxford English Dictionary, means a person who is proficient in fitness or sport. Proficient. Oxford does not mention age, gender, race, or physical size. Today, by society’s standards, the word “athlete” means being ripped and muscular. When men or women fit the dictionary definition of “athlete” but do not have the body type dictated by our culture, they may be subject to ridicule.

You may remember what the reaction was to baseball player Prince Fielder when his fat, naked body graced the cover of ESPN The Magazine in 2014. The Internet exploded with body-shaming comments that ridiculed Fielder for his strong, muscular—but apparently not ripped enough—physique. We are guilty, collectively, of associating “athlete” with thin, muscular frames but not bodies that fall outside of that narrow range.

At a press conference Fielder spoke his truth about the reaction from society. “A lot of people probably think I’m not athletic or don’t even try to work out or whatever, but I do,” Fielder said. “Just because you’re big doesn’t mean you can’t be an athlete. And, just because you work out doesn’t mean you’re going to have a twelve-pack. I work out to make sure I can do my job to the best of my ability. Other than that, I’m not going up there trying to be a fitness model.”

It’s time to restore the true meaning of the word “athlete.” Everyone has the ability to become athletically proficient, to achieve and often exceed their expectations of themselves, and everyone has the right to bring their bad-ass powerhouse self into the forum of sports and physical activity. If you buy into the idea that an athlete’s body must fit society’s narrow ideal—chiseled, youthful, probably Caucasian—you are cheating the rest of us who are athletes but do not have the “right” body type. We need you in this fight to prove that we all have a place in the arena, at the starting line, on the field. For the sake of the next generation we must challenge cultural stereotypes and raise kids who see sports and health as all-inclusive.

Bill Bowerman, co-founder of Nike:

“If you have a body, you are an athlete.”

What will it take for most people to believe that an athlete is someone proficient at sports, no matter their BMI? Seeing is believing and there is a whole tribe of women of size unleashing their inner athletes on the Internet. The images they post online have become highly influential because they help people recognize their own potential to become athletes. Plus-size yogis, runners, Olympians, and triathletes all exist and are helping to redefine what athleticism is. Here is a list of popular Instagrammers who are influencing others to embrace a new style of athleticism.

•Roz the Diva: @rozthediva

•Leah Gilbert: @leebee2321

•Jill Angie: @notyouraveragerunner

•Jessamyn Stanley: @mynameisjessamyn

•Athena Multi Sport Magazine: @athenamultisportmag

•Fat Girls’ Guide to Running: @thefatgirlsguidetorunning

•Dana Falsetti: @nolatrees

•Mirna Valerio: @themirnavator

•Glitter and Lazers: @glitterandlazers

•Valerie Sagun: @biggalyoga

•Fat Girls Hiking: @fatgirlshiking

•Louise Green (me!): @Louisegreen_bigfitgirl

FOR MANY YEARS, I saw no athletes who looked like me and did not have the confidence to pursue my dreams but I finally took the leap and realized that in doing so, I could be an example myself.

Whitney Way Thore, star of TLC’s My Big Fat Fabulous Life:

“Remember that confidence is a product of action. I rarely have the innate confidence to do something challenging; it is through my commitment to do uncomfortable things that I realize no obstacle is insurmountable, and then confidence is gained as a result. No one is born with a finite amount of confidence—it must be worked for, and it must be earned, and therefore it is an unexpected joy every time it arrives (and it will arrive over and over again, each time you force yourself outside of your comfort zone).”

On my journey, I discovered that I needed to replace my negative thoughts with positive ones; my “can’t”s needed to turn into “can”s. This meant first acknowledging the negative thoughts and fears that were holding me back. I always thought that athletes were somehow different from me, that they had special powers that I didn’t possess. I would always compare my life to theirs and focus on ways they had an advantage over me. I would make excuses, cancel my commitments to physical activity, and come up with elaborate lists of reasons why it wasn’t possible for me to exercise. I now know that my fear was fueling self-sabotage.

Think about any fears you might have. Remember, fear can often show up in the form of making excuses, blaming others, being angry, and sabotaging yourself.

When I really think about what my fear was, it was ultimately fear of failure. I didn’t want to put myself out there in case people found out I was a fraud and I couldn’t do it. I think many of us have a fear of failure, but unless we try, we will never get to experience the victory of reaching our fitness goals. Is fear stopping you? The truth is, there will be failures along the way. Not every workout is fantastic or every run completed with ease, but many successful people will say that it’s their failures that reap the biggest lessons and give them the strength to carry on.

Think about what obstacles lie in the way of you unleashing your inner athlete. What are you afraid of? What do you see as your barriers or excuses? I’ve been running my business for ten years and I think I’ve pretty much heard every excuse. There was traffic, I was working late, I’m sick, I’ve got kids, my husband needs me—it’s easy to come up with reasons not to exercise. But the people I work with who really want to create change in their lives don’t allow fear to smash their athletic dreams, and they create strong boundaries around their workouts to ensure their success.

Think about the barriers that hold you back and brainstorm solutions that move you closer to setting your inner athlete free. One of my barriers is that I often think I am too busy to accomplish what I set out to do. I combat this with a system I call “time management and process of elimination.”

For example, one summer I had committed to four triathlons and had completed the first two, but I could feel my enthusiasm waning when it came to finishing the final two. I wanted to focus on other things, and the training was getting tiresome. As I became less committed to my goal, I found myself saying, “I am too busy,” and I had to have a talk with myself. It was time for time management. I wasn’t too busy. If I planned things properly and managed my time better my goals were possible. So, process of elimination: I reviewed a list of things that I did throughout my day and eliminated anything that wasn’t getting me closer to my goal but that gave me the illusion of being “too busy.” These things included watching Netflix, scrolling through social media with no real purpose, and attending certain social events. I cut them all from my agenda and then created a new training schedule, filling in the resulting holes in my day with the workouts that needed to be done. Sometimes my swims had to be done after I taught my classes in the evenings or in the early mornings before I got my son ready for school. But that’s what had to happen to overcome my “busy” barrier.

My process of elimination gave me clarity and a new realization that my goals were achievable. One of my favorite tools for helping me achieve my goals is visualization, which sports psychologists now call “imaging.” Our brains don’t necessarily know the difference between mental visualization and actually performing the specific exercise, race, or event. Visualization or imaging helps athletes prepare for major events by tricking their brains into thinking they’ve already performed them.

In an article published online, the Australian Sports Commission further explains imaging:

Mental rehearsal activates a network of neural coded programs that activate physiological responses. Therefore, imagining something means you are actually strengthening the neural pathways required for that skill and the more likely you are to reproduce it again in the future. Also by mentally practicing, you become more familiar with the actions required to perform a skill. These rehearsals make the actions more familiar or automatic.¹

In a 2014 article titled “Olympians Use Imagery as Mental Training,” the New York Times reported that “the practice of mentally simulating competition has become increasingly sophisticated, essential and elaborate, spilling over into realms like imagining the content of news conferences or the view from the bus window on the way to the downhill . . . This is, more than ever, a multisensory endeavor, which is why the term ‘imaging’ is now often preferred to ‘visualization.’”

Whenever I prepare for a race, I imagine a successful finish. I see myself running toward the finish line. I can feel the heat coming from my face. I hear the crowds cheering louder as I approach. I can smell sweat and taste the salt on my upper lip. Once I cross the finish line I feel relief and victory. I use imaging in other areas of my life too. Mentally rehearsing makes any event feel more familiar and lessens your fear, because you’ve done this before and you are ready!

To be an athlete you need to start thinking like one. What will your life look like when you have unleashed your inner athlete? What does it feel like to be an athlete? Imagine the sounds, smells, and feelings associated with this vision. Try to be as specific as possible—it will make the process more effective. Perhaps you want to participate in a cycling event. Describe, to yourself, what it feels like to mount on your bike, to feel the wind on your face, and to smell the flowers in the fields as you ride past. What does it feel like to experience this freedom, and then the victory as you cross the finish line?

To seal the deal with your inner athlete, you will also need to set concrete goals. Consider everything you have ever wanted to achieve in fitness. Don’t be afraid that your dream is too big; if you break that dream down into small steps, it becomes possible.

Many of us have a bucket list, and most or all of the items on it may be things we have only dreamed of doing. But that’s okay. Dreaming of your bucket list is the first step to checking those items off. At first my list included running a 5K race. Later I expanded my list to include doing longer distance runs, a triathlon, and cycling in a long-distance cycling event. Now I have accomplished all of these goals and want to run a full marathon, complete a Half Ironman triathlon, and hike to the summit of Mount Kilimanjaro. My confidence and my capacity for what is possible keeps growing. I now know all these things are possible with the right planning and mindset, but there was a time when I would have laughed if someone had suggested I could achieve these goals. Even if your ideas seem foolish, I assure you they are not. Your dreams are something to be taken seriously, and they are absolutely doable. Whatever barriers you see in the way are surmountable. But to get past those barriers, you must first change your mindset and believe that it is possible to overcome them.

HERE IS MY step-by-step story, including the past, the moment of transition, and the present, showing how I made the change from nonbeliever to believer and from dreamer to athlete. I had to knock down barriers, change my behaviors, and conquer my fear to get from where I was then to today.

THEN: Fitness wasn’t a priority. Other things got in the way, including parties, socializing, and just sitting on the couch. Fitness wasn’t important to the people I spent time with either.

TRANSITION: I slowly started making fitness a larger part of my life one commitment and event at a time. I signed up for my first running clinic and made some new friends there with a similar interest in running. After that I felt confident enough to sign up for my first 5K run. With each success, my confidence increased. It became easier to carve out time for fitness as I experienced the physical and emotional benefits of being active. With my newfound zest for life I started to believe in myself, something I didn’t have much experience with in the past. I was fortunate to find a community of runners who became my peer network. By surrounding myself with others who believed in the value of fitness and made it a priority in their lives, I was continually inspired.

NOW: Fitness is a top priority in my life. I make a plan for each year that includes my fitness goals, and add all my workouts to my calendar. I look at each goal and to support them I find training plans either for free from the Internet or by purchasing a plan from an online coaching company. I incorporate these plans into my calendar and then work my social events around them as opposed to working my plans around my socializing; putting fitness second wasn’t very successful in the past. Each workout supports the next, and I know that my efforts will be rewarded because I’ve put a solid plan in place.

THEN: I didn’t have the self-confidence to step outside of my comfort zone, so I played it safe and stuck to my usual routines. I hung out with the same friends, we went to the same places for drinks, and then I’d go home and sit on the couch dreaming of another life. I didn’t want to throw my life off-course. That did nothing to help me achieve my athletic dreams. True wins are rarely accomplished by always staying inside your comfort zone.

TRANSITION: I got to a place where I knew that if I wanted to follow my dreams, fear (and conquering it) would be part of my life. As I completed events and achieved goals, I realized that pushing against fear for my own betterment is healthy. My success gave me the motivation I needed to keep going. It is in action that we build confidence to persevere.

NOW: I understand that stepping out of my comfort zone and experiencing fear is part of the process of growth. I have faced fear so many times now that it feels normal. My accomplishments have shown me that I will not combust or die if I do something that I fear. Fear is just energy, excitement about the unknown, and I no longer see it as something to avoid

THEN: I didn’t know where to go or what to do. I viewed many fitness activities as “not for me.” This came from my fear that I wasn’t capable of particular activities or wasn’t welcome in that world. I feared what people thought and didn’t want to look foolish if I couldn’t perform. I craved acceptance.

TRANSITION: I decided that pursuing fitness was about me and not about anyone else. What others thought of me was not my concern and was no reflection on my own self-worth. I needed to show up—to classes, to a run, to just be present—for me. Perhaps this is the stage you are at right now? If so, ease into your new routine. I started with one goal and took my physical transformation one step at a time. Showing up for yourself is the first step in figuring it all out.

NOW: I don’t let other people’s judgments deter me from pursuing my dreams. I really don’t care what people think of me because now I don’t need others’ approval to elevate my sense of self-worth. My self-worth now comes from within. I’ve also come to realize that most athletic communities are very supportive and welcoming. Many people are happy to welcome newcomers, no matter who they are or what their size is, to their sport or activity, and to help them learn and feel more comfortable.

THEN: I didn’t have people in my life who participated in fitness or sports. The people around me didn’t view health or fitness as a priority.

TRANSITION: As I slowly engaged more regularly in fitness activities, I began to attract people into my life who were also interested in fitness and athletics. As my interest in fitness grew, I started reading books and articles about fitness, buying new gear, and talking with like-minded people. My new tribe started to grow, and I strengthened friendships with people whose priorities were fitness rather than drinking on a Friday night into the early hours. This helped me shift my own priorities and create a new lifestyle.

NOW: The people in my life now are goal-oriented and active. They too believe that life is limitless, and they help me find this positive energy within myself. Their enthusiasm when we gather to enjoy our favorite sports is infectious, and their own commitment—to their activities and to supporting me—inspires me to keep going.

THEN: I never allowed myself to achieve my goals. Once I got close to making exercise a consistent part of my life, I’d often back away and sabotage my efforts. Things would get hard, and being fit was uncharted territory out of my comfort zone. I would eventually start making excuses for why the exercise wasn’t going to work, and I would revert to my usual activities—drinking wine and watching television.

TRANSITION: I started to recognize my self-sabotage, which was usually a result of my fear. I would have a chat with myself to overcome the urge to back out of an activity, overriding my negative thoughts with positive comments such as “You deserve this. This is what you want. You signed up for this; don’t give up!” I had to teach myself to feel worthy enough to reach my goals.

NOW: I recognize self-sabotage immediately, including the subtle ways I try to avoid a workout. I still do it today; I’ll tell myself I’m too tired, or my family needs me.

Fear is the biggest cause of lost dreams. If we can recognize it and respect it as part of the process, it becomes normal and surmountable. I recognize that each workout is integral to my success. Not showing up is no longer an option, and every excuse I’ve ever come up with is familiar to me. I now know the reasons behind them, so they no longer work!

As the saying goes, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” With every accomplishment, my goals increase ever-so-slightly. I tell myself, “Well, if I can run three minutes without stopping, I can probably run five minutes.” My accomplishments just keep building and expanding. I have realized that—within reason—if I can dream it, plan for it, and put in the training time, then the sky is the limit. If I allow myself to think it, then it is possible. This is the Big Fit Girl mindset.

Nine Habits of Highly Successful Athletes

OVER THE YEARS I have watched athletes I admire and tried to emulate the behavior that I believe led to their success. Wonderful things resulted. My dedication to a fit life expanded, and I continued to make my athletic dreams reality. Here are some of the habits I observed in these athletes:

1.They think positively and visualize success in their lives.

2.They set goals, both short-term and long-term, and create solid action plans to support their goals.

3.They follow structured training plans or add their workouts to a calendar. Each workout or training session is part of a bigger picture.

4.They keep records or logs to track their progress. Measurement is important, though I recognize it is not for everyone. Keep an open mind: keeping track of your progress allows you to see how far you have come. This is a great motivator when self-sabotage comes into play.

5.They work out even when they don’t want to, because they know they will feel great afterward and be happy they did so. Not every workout is something you will gleefully want to do, but your mindset quickly changes as endorphins are released. These athletes also understand that every workout is part of the big picture and there are seldom shortcuts.

6.They practice self-discipline and avoid the temptations of life if these get in the way of their goals (staying out too late, drinking too much, sleeping in).

7.They are willing to do whatever it takes to achieve their goals. They will get up early, run in the rain, or train before a social event (instead of skipping the training) if they have to.

8.They have self-compassion. Not all workouts will be great, but successful athletes learn from their not-so-good workouts and their mistakes and see shortcomings as opportunities to improve. Everyone has a bad workout sometimes. Highly successful athletes know this and show up anyway.

9.They are social beings, and most train with groups, coaches, or teams at least some of the time. They value the opportunity to learn from fellow athletes, as well as to push themselves with friendly competitors.

PART OF BEING a Big Fit Girl is thinking like an athlete. Adopt some of these nine habits for a step in the right direction. They will help you to consistently put in the hard work it takes to achieve goals. Keep this list in mind as you create a plan for how you will unleash your inner athlete!

What Activities Work Best for Plus-Size Women?

YOU ARE LIMITED only by your own fear. There is no “right” activity for a plus-size woman, just as there is no “right” activity for someone with a smaller body who is new to fitness. You may have heard people suggest you try these typical activities: water aerobics, swimming, yoga, or walking. These activities are often recommended because they are seen as gentler and more manageable for bigger bodies. After hitting the pool to swim some laps, I am not sure I agree that swimming is gentle! And there are some pretty tough water aerobics and yoga classes out there. If you go at your own pace, the sky is the limit.

What activity is right for you? Start with what you enjoy, not what you or others think you are capable of. Try a few different activities to see what feels the best. With the right training, a community of support, and your own determination, you can achieve anything. Rather than give you a list of exercises made for larger bodies, I turned to my favorite athletes (they happen to be plus-size) to share their favorite fitness activities. Which one speaks to you? What do you feel inspired to try?

Yoga

KRYSTAL THOMPSON, OWNER OF THE LUSCIOUS LIFE

EARLY FORMS OF yoga were developed by the Indus-Sarasvati civilization in Northern India over 5,000 years ago. Yoga is practiced every day, by millions of people, all around the world. Although modern-day yoga can appear intimidating, people of all shapes and sizes are busting out their warrior pose. I met yoga teacher Krystal Thompson at the Body Love Conference in Tucson, Arizona. Her passion for yoga inspired me to ask her more. Here is her story:

I started my yoga practice in 1997. Yoga felt like a safer form of moving my bigger body in public than something like running or joining another sport. I had very self-limiting beliefs about my body and what it could do back then. Yoga felt easier for me to access because I had a background in dance that had developed my body awareness and flexibility.