Читать книгу The Complete Fab Confessions of Georgia Nicolson: Books 1-10 - Louise Rennison - Страница 333

Wet Lindsay tried to pretend that she had been “helping” me. Huh. Very likely…not.

Miss Stamp wanted Elvis to carry me to the sick bay but he said he had an old war wound and brought his wheelbarrow out on to the pitch. He said, “Get in. One of your mates will have to wheel it because I hurt my back serving this country.”

Oh yeah. I said to Jools,”His back has probably seized up because he sits on his bottom all day.”

Rosie wheeled me to the sick bay but I still couldn’t walk even after the sadistic Adolfa Stamp had strapped up my ankle. While she was kneeling down in front of me bandaging it all my so-called mates were behind her doing pretend snogging. The Hollingbury girls didn’t even bother to get changed, they just shook hands really quickly and got on their coach.

I hopped about a bit after I was strapped up but it was aggers. In the end Elvis said reluctantly that Rosie and Ellen and Jools could push me home in the wheelbarrow. Cheers, thanks a lot.

Elvis went grumbling back to his hut, saying, “Make sure you bring it back tomorrow…it’s my own private equipment and shouldn’t by rights be used for school business.”

His own private wheelbarrow. How sad is that? Sensationally sad, that’s how.

We set off, wheeling along. It wasn’t very comfortable in the barrow and there was the suggestion of something brownish in one of the corners. But I was being all brave and heroic as I was the heroine of the hockey universe. And attractively modest. For a genius.

When we got to the school gates Dave the Laugh was there!!! He had been one of the lads at the match!!! He has seen my gigantic bottom bobbling around on the pitch. Closely following my gigantic schnozzle, bobbling around. OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod.

He was laughing like a loon as we squeaked up to him in Elvis’s wheelbarrow. Then he got down on his knees and was salaaming and chanting “We are not worthy” to me.

He said to Rosie and Ellen and Jools, “Let me push the genius home.” And as he pushed me along he sang that really crap song by that band that Dad thinks he looks like the drummer from– Queen. The song was “We are the Champions”. The Fab Gang joined in really loudly. Everyone was looking as us as we went down the High Street. I don’t suppose shoppers often saw anyone in a wheelbarrow. They probably had very narrow lives and travelled around by car. Or moped.

Dave the L kissed me when he left me at my gate! In front of everyone! And he said, “Bye-bye, beautiful. See you soon. Let me know how the ankle is. I’ll bring you pressies.”

When he’d gone the girls went, “Aaaahhh.”

Ellen said, “He really is quite cool-looking. Has he done that nibbling thing again? I quite fancy the sound of that.”

But he is just a herring. We must not forget this.