Читать книгу The Complete Fab Confessions of Georgia Nicolson: Books 1-10 - Louise Rennison - Страница 334

Mum was quite literally ecstatic about my ankle. She just left me in the wheelbarrow outside the front door and got on the blower immediately. I could hear her talking to the doctors’ receptionist.

“Yes, it really does seem quite bad. No, no, she really can’t walk at all. Yes, well thank you.”

Libby came trailing out with scuba-diving Barbie and got in the wheelbarrow with me. She gave me a big kiss. Don’t get me wrong, I love my sister, but I wish she would wipe her nose occasionally. When she kisses me she leaves green snot all over my cheek.

Mum came outside and said, “The doctor will pop round after surgery, Gee. Will you just lend me your mascara? I’ve run out.”

I said, “Huh, it’s just one-way traffic in this house…if it was me, if the shoe was on the other boot, if I said, ‘Mum, can I just borrow…’”

She wasn’t listening. She called from indoors, “Hurry up, love, just get me it.”

I yelled, “I can’t walk, Mum! That is why the doctor is coming to see me. That’s why I came home in a wheelbarrow.”

“You don’t have to walk, just hop out of the barrow and up the stairs and get the mascara.”

Hop hop, agony agony, hop hop.

Why was I hopping around getting things for my mother who only wanted them so that she could make a fool of my father? (The answer to that question is I didn’t want her poking around in my room. She might come across a few things that weren’t strictly mine, things that in a word were– er– hers.)

I hopped into her bedroom and said, “It is pathetic and sad. You are trying to get off with a young doctor and my poor vati is coming home to a– a– facsimile of a sham!”

She just tutted and went on primping. She said, “The trouble with you is that trivial things are really serious to you, and stuff you should care about that is serious, you don’t.”

I said, hobbling off, “Oh very wise. Is that why you are stuffing yourself into things that are quite clearly made for people a) smaller than you and b) several centuries younger than you?”

She threw the hairbrush at me. That’s nice behaviour, isn’t it? Attacking a cripple.