Читать книгу The Complete Fab Confessions of Georgia Nicolson: Books 1-10 - Louise Rennison - Страница 528

Woke up with a crick in my neck and a sort of airtank shape in my cheek where scuba-diving Barbie had been.

Dad came into the kitchen in a suit. Blimey.

No one said anything. Apart from Libby, who growled at him. It turns out that it wasn’t a nightmare she had last night, she just woke up and caught sight of Dad in his jimjams.

Mum was in her usual morning dreamworld. As she came out of her bedroom getting ready for work she was wearing her bra and skirt and nothing else. I said, “Mum, please, I’m trying to eat.”

But then Vati did this GROTESQUE thing. He got hold of one of Mum’s nunga-nungas (honestly!) and sort of squeezed it and went, “Honk, honk!”

In the bathroom I was checking the back of my head and profile. (There’s a cabinet which has two mirrors on it. You can look through one and angle the other one so that you can look at the reflection of yourself sideways.) Then I put Mum’s magnifying mirror underneath and looked down at myself, because say the Sex God had been lying on my knees sort of looking up at me adoringly and singing (which he had), well I wanted to know what that looked like.

I wish I hadn’t bothered for two reasons.

Firstly when I looked down at the mirror I realised that my nose is GIGANTIC. It must have grown overnight. I looked like Gerard Depardieu. Which is not a plus if you are not a forty-eight-year-old French bloke.

Secondly you can definitely see my lurker from underneath.