Читать книгу ‘Luuurve is a many trousered thing…’ - Louise Rennison - Страница 108

Boom crash bang. Yowl yowl. Now what?

Then I heard the lovely tones of my father: “Bloody hell, that furry bastard has stuck its claws into my arse.”

How delightful my home life is. It’s practically like living in Pride and Prejudice it’s so elegant. I will pretend to be asleep. Not that anyone cares. I have asked them to respect my privacy, but I bet they—

Ah, yes. My door crashed open.

I said, “Mum, I am asleep, actually.”

Mum said, “Don’t you want your letter then?”

I sat up in bed. “What letter?”

She held out an envelope. “This one. It was on the doormat before you got home from school. I put it in my bag and forgot about it. It must have been hand delivered, because it’s only got your name on it.”

I said, “Quick, give it to me, it is a criminal offence to tamper with Her Maj’s mail.”

“Who do you think it’s from?”

“Er, Father Christmas. Possibly someone from beyond the grave. Mum, I don’t know because you have got it and I therefore have not opened it.”