Читать книгу ‘Luuurve is a many trousered thing…’ - Louise Rennison - Страница 93

Scavenging around in the kitchen for something to eat. Luckily a piece of toast popped out of the toaster. Ah, good. I buttered it and ate it. Blimey, being a Luuurve Goddess can make you peckish.

Vati came dadding in. He didn’t even say good morning, he said, “Is that my toast you are eating?”

I said, “To be honest, Dad, I don’t think you need any more toast; you seem to have plenty stored away around the trouser area.”

As usual in this house when anyone (me) tries to be light and amusing Dad goes ballisticisimus.

Mum came in trying to force Libby into her dungies while she still had a cup of milky pops in her hand which she would not let go of.

Dad was still moaning on about me. “Where does she get all this rudeness from, Connie? You are too easy-going on her.”

Mum said, “I know. She’s been ironing her hair.”

Dad forgot about the toast fiasco and started on beauty. Something which, quite frankly, he is not an expert on. “How bloody ridiculous is that? You’ll end up like Uncle Eddie.”

I said, “Oh right, I’m going to turn into a mad bloke on a motorbike because I straighten my hair. I think women everywhere should be told.”