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About one in five pregnancies is unplanned. If this fetus is the result of some Chianti-fuelled madness, or if you thought you practised the contraceptive equivalent of Fort Knox, discovering you’re pregnant can be distressing. Many of us won’t admit to such thoughts – it feels shameful even to consider not wanting a baby when other women out there are devastated by infertility. But many of us – at least initially – do feel this way. ‘My first baby, Mia, was five months old,’ says Kate. ‘She hadn’t slept for more than two hours at a stretch, screamed all the time, and we were shattered. One night, we drank a bottle of wine and had reckless sex – some kind of stress relief I think. Conrad was the result. When I discovered I was pregnant again I sat on the bathroom floor and cried. Mia cried next to me. Jim came in, and cried too. It was like some kind of Greek tragedy.’ They all came round to it in the end, of course, and Conrad is the light of their lives but really, pregnancy test kits should carry a mental health warning.

HEALTHY PREGNANCY: WHAT TO STOP DOING RIGHT NOW

STOP:

 smoking cigarettes. Cigarette smoke contains more than 4000 chemicals that cross the placenta into your baby’s blood. It can lower your baby’s birth weight by 12 to 18 grams per cigarette consumed per day and doubles your chances of having a premature baby. It is associated with bleeding, pre-eclampsia, stillbirth and miscarriage.

 taking over the counter drugs (without a doctor’s advice). Though paracetamol is considered safe to take in pregnancy, anti-inflammatory pain medication like ibuprofen can increase your risk of miscarriage. Best to check with your midwife before you take anything.

 taking all recreational drugs (including cannabis)

 taking all street drugs

 drinking more than a couple of glasses of wine a week

 soaking in saunas or hot tubs

 having x-rays (unless suggested by your obstetrician)

Where to go for help:

QUIT helpline 0800 002200 www.quit.org.uk

NHS Pregnancy smoking helpline 0800 169 9 169

American Lung Association (US) www.lungusa.org/tobacco/