Читать книгу Single Dads Collection - Lynne Marshall - Страница 36

The mysterious man sitting in the back of the room didn’t want to be seen. Too bad, because Lucy Brooks had spotted him the second he’d tried to slip in unnoticed twenty minutes ago.

A sexy man with broad shoulders, perfectly tanned skin, denim worn out in all the proper places, and clutching a black cowboy hat could not simply blend in. That square, stubbled jaw alone would grab any woman’s attention. Not that Lucy wanted to be grabbed.

She tried to focus as one of the regular attendees discussed her one positive experience from the past week. The Helping Hands support group Lucy had started with her best friends Tara and Kate was a way to encourage others struggling with grief. Everyone brought something different to the meetings because everyone handled the loss of a loved one differently. And nobody had the same story to tell.

Which brought her gaze back to the cowboy in the back. Stonerock, Tennessee, had its fair share of ranchers, but she’d never seen this man before. The fact he was new explained the jumbled nerves in her belly. She refused to believe they were caused by the dark stare he was returning in her direction.

“Does anyone else have anything they’d like to share?” Tara asked, pulling Lucy back to the moment. When nobody stepped forward, Tara went on. “Remember, we will be changing the starting time next week. We’ll be switching to seven instead of six. Have a great week, everybody.”

All in attendance tonight were regulars, save for the cowboy. They’d all had a positive week and tonight’s meeting had mostly been smiles and laughter—the whole reason for forming this group nearly two years ago.

Lucy excused herself from her friends and headed toward the back of the church where the new guy was trying to sneak out as quickly and quietly as he’d snuck in.

Lucy wasn’t having any part of that. She made her way through the aisles, smiling and nodding to familiar faces. But when she reached the back, the stranger was gone. Jogging out the open doors, she spotted him striding toward a big black truck. What else would a mysterious cowboy drive?

A fine mist covered her face as she picked up the pace to catch up with him. Those long legs of his ate up some serious ground.

He must’ve heard or sensed her because he glanced over his shoulder and stopped. Swiping the dampness from her face, Lucy finished closing the gap between them.

“Hi. I’m Lucy.” Okay, that sounded lame, but she didn’t know what else to lead with. She was usually fine with greeting new guests, but this man was different. “I wanted to welcome you to the group, but you slipped out before I could say hello.”

The stranger shoved his black hat back on and fished the keys from his pocket. “I’m not joining. Just wanted to come by and see what it was about.”

She recognized that emptiness she saw in his dark eyes, knew that denial, that unspoken insistence he’d be all right without help. Even with the light rain and only the glow from the church lights, she had become all too familiar with that look. Two years ago she’d seen it every day staring back at her in the mirror.

“You’ve lost someone recently?” When his jaw clenched, she knew she’d hit the mark. He was the angry griever. There were all types and she’d come to know them all. “Would you like to come back in and talk?”

The stranger snorted and shook his head as he turned toward his truck and held out his key fob. Lights flashed as the locks were released.

“No, I wouldn’t. I’m not baring my soul to a group of strangers.”

Lucy wrapped her arms around her waist. Occasionally rude people came through, but she’d had to remind herself the words weren’t necessarily directed at her. They were targeted toward the person’s inner anger.

The stranger cursed on a sigh and turned back to her. “Noah. My name is Noah.”

Lucy smiled. Apparently his guilt trumped his anger where she was concerned. A cowboy and a gentleman.

“I didn’t plan on making you bare your soul, just so you know. I didn’t know if you’d like to come in and just talk, not necessarily about loss or grieving. We actually get together once a week and discuss a variety of things.”

One thick, dark brow quirked. “Like what?”

Lucy shrugged. “One rule is if you’re going to speak, you have to start with something good that happened since you were here last. It can be anything. We are really just here to lift each other up, not focus on why we’re hurting.”

His eyes darted away for a brief second before returning to her. “That’s great, what you’re doing. It’s just…not for me.”

Nodding, Lucy knew when not to push. “Well, we’re here every Monday. If you change your mind, you’re welcome to come back.”

When she turned to go, she dropped her head as the rain started to pick up intensity.

“I lost my wife six months ago.”

His low tone was nearly drowned out by the rain, but Lucy froze, knowing full well she’d heard correctly. Shoving her damp hair off her forehead, she turned back around.

“My husband has been gone for two years,” she replied, wanting him to know they already had something in common and he wasn’t alone. Still, saying the words never got any easier. It was just an ugly fact she’d learned to live with. “I’m available to talk one-on-one, too, if you prefer.”

He stared at her a bit longer, as if he was trying to process what move to make next. That internal struggle was real, but something he had to battle himself. She waited for his reply, not caring how wet she was getting, how her hair was clinging to her cheeks or how her shirt had plastered itself to her skin.

With a tip of his hat, he nodded toward the church. “You’d best get inside. Storm’s comin’.”

Gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white, Noah Spencer headed home. Well, to the house he was renting. Calling the place he’d lived in only a few days a home was quite a stretch.

He’d lost his ranch, a portion of his life that he’d never get back. Noah swallowed as guilt and grief threatened to overtake him. The loss of his wife was far greater than that of the land and livestock. But losing nearly everything all at once was damn near soul-crushing.

Settling into this small town, ready to start his new job with the Stonerock Police Department tomorrow night, was the fresh start he needed. Being a rancher was his first love, but the failing ranch he’d had in Texas was gone and the money to rebuild simply wasn’t there.

If he were all alone he would’ve tried to come up with a way to fight for that dream…or close himself off from the world and curse fate for taking so much from him.

But he hadn’t quite lost everything and he wasn’t alone. He had a little girl depending on him to provide security, a stable home, and the vision of a brighter future.

Noah smiled despite the pain. Just the thought of Emma, his girly-girl with her pink bows and her curly blond hair, always brightened his mood. She’d dealt with this move far better than he had. To her, everything in life was an adventure and he’d do well to learn from her positive outlook.

And it was that positive attitude of Emma’s that drove him to check out this support group he’d heard of. When his real estate agent had lined up this rental until he could find a house worth buying in his budget, she’d mentioned various things around town: a few trustworthy babysitters, good restaurants, pediatricians…and this group. Helping Hands was free to the community, to help lift up people who had lost someone.

Noah truly didn’t care about being lifted up or any other mind tricks meant to make him feel better about his life. Right now it sucked. Plain and simple. There was no way to sugarcoat things and he was too mentally exhausted to try.

Forcing the bitterness away, he pulled into his drive. For the sake of his daughter, he always put up a strong front. That was his job as her sole parent now. She mourned the loss of her mother, of her pets back at the leveled ranch, so he needed to always keep her surroundings positive.

Killing the engine, Noah sat there and thought back to the blonde beauty who’d followed him out to his truck. She’d been determined to get him to open up and he’d been just as determined not to. Yet something about her sweet smile, those piercing green eyes, and her soft tone had made him reveal more than he’d wanted to.

Her opening up about her late husband had surprised him. Even through the sadness in her tone, she’d smiled. For him. A total stranger reaching out to him. She’d invited him back, but…

Noah sighed and jerked his door handle. He wasn’t going back. Attending meetings like that would only make him relive the nightmare of six months ago. He’d moved to Stonerock for a fresh start and that’s exactly what he planned on getting. How could he move forward if he was constantly reminded about how drastically his life had changed?

Heading up the walkway, Noah glanced toward the bay window where his whole reason for living was waving wildly. Curls bouncing, plastic tiara askew, Emma made a silly face. Noah couldn’t help but laugh as he reflected one back to her. He knew the second he walked through that door and relieved the babysitter that he’d be trading his cowboy hat for a tiara and Emma would pull out her makeup so they could play dress-up.

There was nowhere else in the world he’d rather be. He didn’t need a support group to help him move on; he only needed his four-year-old princess.

Yet the blonde and her open invitation stayed in the forefront of his mind and he refused to even acknowledge the knot in his gut when he thought of how striking she was, how patient and how compassionate. And he sure as hell needed to forget how her wet shirt had plastered itself to her curves, punching him full-on with the first taste of attraction he’d had since—

No. He refused to even go there right now. All he needed was his daughter, his job and this new beginning. No way in hell was he adding a woman to that list.

Taking a deep breath, Noah stepped inside the Stonerock Police Department and was hit with the scent of burned coffee. Good thing he’d already had two cups before he left his house. He wasn’t used to working the midnight shift back in Texas, but he was the low man on the totem pole at this station, and he needed the job.

He’d always loved the mountains of Tennessee; he and his wife had honeymooned there. When he’d wanted to get away from Texas, he’d immediately thought of Tennessee. It didn’t take long to narrow his search down to other departments that were seeking another officer.

A bulletin board hung immediately to his left, full of images of missing persons and various announcements from other authorities, local and national. A couple of old scarred desks filled with folders and papers, but no one manning them, were to his right. He’d been here only twice before for interviews and to turn in paperwork, but he knew the town was low on crime and the office usually only had a handful of staff at a time.

Noah moved through the department and headed toward the captain’s office. Cameron St. John was one hell of a captain, and rumor had it he’d put a stop to drug runners threatening this humble town only a year ago. While Noah may long to be back on the ranch, no matter how rough finances had been, he was also anxious and excited to be working for such a well-respected department.

“That’s because you always burn the coffee. If you’d let me make it, at least we could drink it without choking on it.”

Noah froze. That feminine voice washed over him, instantly taking him back to the parking lot the night before, to the silky tone from the blonde with rain dampening her face. She’d talked to him as if she weren’t getting soaked, as if she didn’t look like she’d stepped from a wet T-shirt contest. Her only concern had been for him…which said quite a bit about her character.

Noah gritted his teeth and forced those wet T-shirt images aside. Before he could take a step forward, Lucy stepped from the captain’s office and smacked right into him. Instinct had him reaching up to grip her arms—toned yet delicate arms. She was a petite little thing, the top of her head hitting below his chin.

Noah dropped his hands, but her palms were flat against his chest. The second she tipped her head back and her eyes focused on his face, she raised her brows in surprise.

Lucy took a step back. “You’re the new officer?” she gasped, then shook her head. “Clearly you are. I mean, you’re in uniform. I just…”

She trailed off as pink tinged her cheeks, and something about having her flustered when she’d been in such control last night had him fighting back a grin. Other than Emma, nobody had made him grin in a long, long time.

He took in her buttoned-up white sweater and dark jeans. She had some sparkly earrings that his daughter would covet on sight and deem princess material.

“I didn’t see you when I came in before.” Damn it, why had he said that?

“I’m a part-time night dispatcher,” she explained, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I’m finishing up my online master’s classes and it eats up most of my time.”

And she also ran a free outreach program for the community. Clearly she stayed busy, which was exactly what he needed to do. Ogling his new coworker was not the hobby he needed to look into.

Noah gestured behind her toward the open door. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to check in.”

Lucy blinked, then stepped aside. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to hold you up. I’m just surprised to see you again. I mean…”

“Yeah,” he agreed, not wanting to discuss last night.

He’d had a moment of weakness, but his head was on straight now and he was moving forward, starting with this new position. No way in hell would he be seen as vulnerable. What type of cop would that make him? His duties included being strong, fierce, in control—none of which he felt one hundred percent about. But he had to start somewhere and rehashing last night wasn’t the place.

“I’m sure I’ll see you later. I better go fix that coffee.”

With a smile, Lucy headed down the hallway and Noah cursed himself for watching her go. This beautiful woman who’d caught him at a fragile moment could not interfere with his goal of building a new life for his daughter.