Читать книгу Single Dads Collection - Lynne Marshall - Страница 44

Lucy was putting the cookies in a tin for Emma to take home when the back door opened. She smiled that he was so comfortable to walk in without knocking.

“Just in t—”

Anything she was about to say vanished the second she saw Noah’s face. Cookies forgotten, she stepped forward. She reached out to touch his jaw, but realized he must be hurting. Her hand landed on his shoulder instead.

“What happened?”

Noah smiled. Actually smiled as he shook his head. “It’s nothing. My face got in the way.”

“Daddy, are you okay?”

Emma scrambled off the bar stool and came over to stand between Lucy and Noah.

“I’m fine, sweetheart,” he assured her. “It smells amazing in here. I hope you made something we can take home.”

Emma nodded, but Lucy couldn’t take her eyes off the blue-and-purple swollen jaw. Noah threw her a glance that silently told her he’d talk about it later.

Pulling in a breath, Lucy nodded and went to finish putting bread and cookies in containers for them to take home. Her kitchen was an absolute disaster, but she didn’t care.

Tara and Kate were likely at Gallagher’s dancing but Lucy knew she couldn’t have had more fun if she’d gone with them. It wasn’t like she had ever spent the evening with a toddler, but she’d quickly found that she was having a blast staying in for a change and being silly, tossing flour at each other, cracking eggs, and having shells fall into the cookie batter. Each mishap caused Emma to laugh even louder so Lucy found herself purposely doing things wrong.

Emma spoke of her mother, she spoke of the ranch in Texas, and how she and her daddy always worked together in the evenings when he came home from the police station. She said he’d helped keep bad people off the streets in Texas and he was going to do the same here. She wished he didn’t work at night, but Lucy had explained that because he was new, that was the only shift available.

It must be difficult being a single father and at the mercy of your employment, but Noah hadn’t complained to her or anyone else that she’d noticed. He did his job, cared for his daughter…and managed to melt Lucy’s heart in the process.

Fantastic. Now she was falling for a guy that she couldn’t even bring herself to be intimate with. It had been two years since Evan passed. He would’ve wanted her to move on, and she truly thought she was ready. At least her body had been more than ready, but her mind and heart started battling and she’d shut down.

Lucy set the tins on the island. “Emma, would you like to go in and finish watching that movie I put on earlier?”

Emma looked to her dad. “Is it okay?”

He nodded. “You can go.”

As Emma raced into the living room, Lucy explained, “I hope it was okay I started a movie while everything was baking. She said you watch it at home, so I figured it was safe.”

Noah nodded. “I trust your judgment.”

Lucy eyed his face, hating he’d been hurt. “Ready to tell me what happened to you?”

“I met Gray Gallagher.”

Stunned, Lucy gasped. “Gray hit you? Why?”

“Your friend Kate frustrates him and she likes to push his buttons.”

A sliver of jealousy speared her. Lucy knew how Kate acted around attractive men. She was like a magnet and they seemed to gravitate toward her. No doubt Noah was just like all the other guys who found Kate irresistible.

“You were flirting with Kate?”

“What? No,” he said. “She was dancing with some guy. Apparently Gray saw the guy get a little too handsy and charged after him. I tried to stop it. Well, I did stop it.”

Lucy tipped her head as she reached out, barely brushing her fingertip over the bruise. “I’m sorry you got hurt. Want some ice or pain reliever?”

The muscle beneath her finger clenched and she glanced up to his eyes. His lids were lowered, but the dark eyes staring back at her held nothing but desire, want. Her heart picked up and the knots in her stomach clenched. No matter how many times she told herself to take this slow with him, some things were simply out of her control.

“It’s suddenly feeling better,” he rasped.

Lucy flattened her palm against his cheek, still careful not to put too much pressure on the swollen area. “Gray really is a nice guy. He and Kate…they’re complicated.”

“More complicated than us?”

Us. Well, he’d thrown that gauntlet down and the word solidified something…didn’t it?

Kate and Gray were meant for each other, though Kate was frustrating and Gray was stubborn. The two never could see eye to eye on anything other than the fact that they both irritated each other. But anyone could see how the sparks would fly whenever they were in close proximity.

When Lucy was around Noah, they didn’t so much irritate each other as confuse each other. The need, the guilt, the fear of moving forward all combined to make their situation so complex.

“Not the same,” she corrected. “But just as confusing.”

He nodded, then looked at her, his expression serious. “I’m sorry I let things get out of hand this morning.”

Was that just this morning? The day seemed so long. So much had happened since the encounter in her bedroom.

“We’re both to blame for that,” she told him as she dropped her hand. “But I should apologize for freaking out. I just… I never thought that would be an issue.”

“I never thought I’d want another woman,” he countered. “I can’t want another woman. It’s too soon.”

He seemed to be telling himself rather than her.

Lucy couldn’t stop looking at those mesmerizing eyes and how they seemed to see right into her soul. How could a man be this expressive with his emotions and not be ready?

Granted she thought she could move on, but fear had her rethinking that theory.

They were at different points in their grieving and Lucy didn’t want to get hurt again—and she certainly didn’t want to hurt him, either.

Lucy crossed her arms over her chest so she didn’t reach back out to him. “Neither of us can afford more heartache.”

Noah nodded in agreement. “I have a daughter to protect.”

There went more of that melting heart. “What about your needs, Noah?”

“She’s my world,” he said with a shrug. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her and that includes putting all of my needs last.”

Her eyes drifted to his jaw once again and she couldn’t help but wonder about the details of the evening. What happened when he’d first gone into Gallagher’s, how he and Gray had ended up striking up a conversation, and how Noah’s face had ultimately landed between Gray’s fist and some guy.

“You didn’t tell anyone that we were…”

How did she ask properly without sounding like she was embarrassed?

“I mean, if my friends thought I was here with Emma, they’d think more…”

“I get it.” Noah ran a hand over the uninjured side of his face, the stubble along his jawline bristling beneath his palm. “Nobody needs to know how good of friends we are. They’ll only read more into it.”

Good friends? Considering he’d seen her completely naked and he’d kissed her enough to spawn fantasies for days, she’d say they were extremely good friends.

“Well, Kate and Tara know a little.”

Noah’s mouth kicked up in a side grin. “I figured, but I just need to keep Emma protected, and for the sake of my job, I don’t want any rumors circulating at work.”

“You’re getting nothing but praise at work lately, especially after saving that little boy.”

Noah shook his head and dropped his arms. “I just happened to be the one to see him, that’s all.”

“You split up a would-be fight at Gallagher’s and you’re sporting a wound to prove it, so you may get more praise.”

Noah laughed. “I think as angry and jealous as Gray was, he would’ve kicked that guy’s ass as he shoved him out the door. It wouldn’t have been much of a fight.”

The television from the living room seemed to get even louder just before Emma let out a string of chuckles.

“That’s her favorite part,” Noah said with a laugh. “We watch that movie over and over.”

“As soon as the cookies went in the oven she asked if I’d ever seen it.”

Noah smiled, showcasing that dimple that drove her mad. “I think even more so now that we moved, she wants that connection. The horses in the film remind her of Daisy.”

Lucy’s heart ached for the precious child who had lost her mother and her beloved horse.

“In case nobody has told you, you’re doing a phenomenal job.”

Noah’s brows drew in. “At what?”

With a shrug, Lucy replied, “Life. My husband passed away, too. I know the pain, the emptiness. I get that you don’t know which way to turn for happiness or if it even exists anymore.”

She didn’t want to get too far into that part of her life, but she wanted him to know how much she understood, how she could offer support.

“I know after Evan passed, I went into this depression. I had survivor’s guilt even though I wasn’t there when he died. I was questioning why I had the opportunity to move on and be happy when he didn’t. If it weren’t for my friends, I’m not sure where I’d be. If you want to talk…”

He scratched the side of his jaw. “It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with in my life,” he admitted. “There are days I don’t want to get out of bed. There are times, more often than not, that the survivor’s guilt threatens to take over. But Emma needs her father at one hundred percent because right now, I’m mom and dad to her.”

The lump in Lucy’s throat seemed to grow with each raw word of honesty. “I’m here if you need a sounding board,” she said. “As a friend, I know. But it’s important to get that adult time and communication during your grieving process.”

“I’m pretty sure my shrink in Texas gave me all the adult time I could need for the rest of my life.” Noah reached over and slid the tins toward the edge of the counter. “I better get going. Thanks for having Emma over to see the horses and to bake.”

“You guys are welcome here anytime.” Lucy knew the night had to come to an end, but she hated for him to go. “I liked having her around. And you.”

“Glad to hear it.”

She opted to push a little more, testing both their comfort zones. “When we’re off again, maybe you two can come back for horse riding and a picnic.”

Noah eased back, his eyes holding hers. “Count on it.”

“Are you sure you don’t want ice for your jaw?” Lucy hated the thought of her friend losing his cool and hitting Noah.

“Nah. I’ve had worse,” he told her. “I’ll put something on it when I get home. How’s the hip?”

“I’ve had so much fun this evening, I’ve forgotten about it,” she admitted. “It hurts more when I walk on it, but I think that’s also going to help work out the soreness.”

Noah stared at her another minute and Lucy had no idea what was running through his mind. He kept his eyes on her, but said nothing. The silence stretched between them with only the faint sound of the television in the background.

“Thank you,” he finally said, his voice full of emotion. “There’s not much lately that really penetrates the hurt, but you have. You’ve not only been great for me, but to spend this time with Emma… I can’t thank you enough. I know she misses having a female in her life. Her sitter is great, but someone younger and fun is what she needed for a night.”

Lucy placed her hand on his. “She’s precious. I can be a friend to you both.”

“All while juggling work, your community service and your schoolwork?” Noah reached up with his free hand and smoothed the stray strands off her forehead. “Who takes care of you?”

“I don’t need anyone to take care of me.”

Though having him touch her was something she wasn’t about to turn down. At least, touching when it was innocent and simple. Anything else, well, she’d have to work up to that. But Noah was the first man in so long she even wanted to explore that notion with, so she’d keep moving along and hoping something blossomed from this, because Noah Spencer was one special guy. And his daughter had captured Lucy’s heart, as well.

Now she had to figure out where to put all these feelings and how to sort them.

“Maybe you could come to the next meeting?” Lucy suggested.

Noah shook his head. “I don’t need meetings. I’m getting along without them.”

She wished he’d just come to one, to see that it wasn’t all doom and gloom. People needed a support team, and while Noah had Emma, how could the man actually grieve when he had to be so strong for a child?

“Maybe you’ll reconsider,” she added.

Noah’s dark eyes held hers. “Don’t try to get into my head, Lucy. I’m going at my own pace and it’s nobody’s business but mine.”

He headed into the living room, clearly done with the topic. How could they move forward if he wasn’t prepared to face his pain?

Lucy sank to a kitchen bar stool as her own hurt spiraled through her. Perhaps he didn’t want to move forward. He’d apologized for the kiss; he’d made it clear they could be friends. He’d summed up everything neat and tidy. But Lucy didn’t feel the discussion of their situation was closed. Not by a long shot.