Читать книгу Desire Collection: January Books 1 – 4 - Maisey Yates, Joss Wood - Страница 14

Five

Well, clearly the topic of PTSD was off the table. Alexa wouldn’t make the mistake of bringing that up again. The man knew he had it—just as she knew. What level of hell did he live in on a daily basis? Did he just battle all of this on his own?

Alexa didn’t know his brothers. Well, she’d seen Beau Elliott in movies, but that didn’t necessarily count. From the way Hayes spoke about the others, he had a support system right here. Was he not ready to reach out? Perhaps he was too proud?

When her sister had passed, Alexa’s father had a difficult time accepting help from others. But then he’d realized that was the only way he’d be able to move on and heal not only himself, but also his family.

“Tell me about your movie-star brother,” she tossed out.

Hayes let out a humorless laugh. “You really know which subjects to hone in on to get on my bad side.”

“Then maybe you should get me a list of safe things to discuss because I’ve yet to see a good side.”

The glare he shot her suggested she should keep quiet, and that grouchy demeanor might work on some, but not her. She wasn’t worried.

“Maybe we should try to get along during this storm and skip the getting-to-know-you portion of the night,” he growled.

She thought about that for a second, but opted to ignore his request.

“I’d rather play the game,” she countered. “I mean, I am wearing your clothes and it doesn’t look like I’m going anywhere anytime soon.”

Hayes shook his head, clearly not on board. “How about we get flashlights and candles? Then maybe I’ll tell you about my renovations.”

She pursed her lips and tipped her head to the side. “Sounds like a good idea to me. I can give you some tips.”

“Did I ask for tips?” he countered. Alexa crossed the room and patted his cheek. “Consider it my payment for your Southern hospitality.”

“I didn’t have a choice,” he muttered beneath his breath.

“Sure you did, but you chose to push your moodiness aside and step up as a gentleman.”

Those dark eyes traveled over her. “I’m always a gentleman, Lex.”

Something shifted inside her. “Don’t call me that.”

Scott had always used that as his nickname for her and no one had called her Lex in two years.

Hayes’s dark eyes landed on hers. “Fine. Alexa.”

The way her name slid through his lips as he drawled it out made her think of skin to skin and promising nights. However, there would be neither skin on skin nor a passion-filled night.

“Let’s start in the bedroom.”

She blinked, then smiled. “Lead the way, cowboy.”

Hayes did move, but not to lead the way. He leaned in and came within an inch of her. So close, his warm breath tickled the side of her face.

“And for the record, don’t pat me like a little boy again.”

Swallowing hard, she eased her face back just slightly to look him dead in the eyes. “Believe me, Hayes, I definitely don’t see you as a little boy.”

* * *

He wasn’t sure what was more nerve-wracking, the fact she followed so close behind as he led the way up to the second floor, or the way she’d volleyed that sexual tension back in his face.

“Do we need to do anything for your horses?”

Hayes reached the landing and turned to face her. “They’re all right. I have hay and feed in the barn. They’re just as comfortable as they’d be down in Colt’s stable.”

Alexa glanced around the second story and then down over the first floor. The balcony-style hallway allowed for a beautiful view with the window behind overlooking the property and the family room below.

“This is such a gorgeous house,” she muttered as she crossed to the window. “I can’t imagine ever wanting to leave if I had somewhere like this to call home.”

She’d mentioned that before, but he wondered why she didn’t just buy a place in the country. Unless she was one of those picky people who had vast dreams and a meager budget.

“It never gets old,” he admitted. “This land means more than money. There’s loyalty, family, protection. Everything is wrapped up in Pebblebrook.”

Alexa turned her attention back to him. “That’s the most I’ve heard you say at one time.”

“Maybe I only talk when I’m passionate about something.”

The corners of her lips twitched. One of these times when she mouthed off or gave that mocking grin, he was going to put that mouth to better use. There was only so long a man could hold out. Besides, the sexual attraction wasn’t going away. If anything, the tension grew stronger the longer she was here.

Maybe a little seduction would take the edge off. Perhaps kissing her and seeing where that led would have them both putting this time to better use.

“What else are you passionate about?” she asked.

“Bourbon, fighting for what I believe in, good sex.” Her eyes widened and Hayes nearly smiled. “Oh, come on. You can’t be surprised by my answer, darlin’. I’m a guy.”

“I guess I didn’t expect you to throw the word sex down so easily.”

With a shrug, he started down the hall that led to his master bedroom. “Sex has to be easy. Anything else implies commitment and that is impossible.”

Alexa tipped her head and studied him. “Who hurt you?”

She just had to keep pressing. He’d almost rather have her pity than for her to dig deeper into his scarred heart. “My fiancée and my CO were having an affair behind my back.”

Alexa gasped. Clearly, she wasn’t expecting such honesty, but he wasn’t sugar coating. Perhaps the bold statement would get her to back off and stop trying to pick his mind. If she persisted, he’d have to pull out the nightmare. Bringing it into the open would surely get her to back the hell out of his personal space.

“Trust doesn’t come easily,” he added. “Which is why sex is sex and anything more is meaningless.”

“That’s pretty cold,” she told him.

“If you didn’t want the truth, you shouldn’t have asked.”

There was no point in discussing this. They were completely different people and he wasn’t here to make friends or make her feel good by opening up and spilling his emotions about the big, bad, scary things he carried in his mind.

The house tour was a safe subject, though he was a fool for starting in the bedroom. Unfortunately, that was the only area he’d completed.

He’d taken part of the wall in the hallway out to make room for the double doors leading to the suite. This house would be revamped from top to bottom, inside and out, but he still wanted to keep the charm of the ’40s, when it had been built. No expense would be spared and he would put in high-end everything, but doing it himself was imperative. Hayes needed to stay busy, needed to be working with his hands. Idle time would only feed the devil that threatened him daily.

Hayes reached for the doorknobs and eased the doors wide open. Alexa’s gasp behind him was all the validation he needed. Even his brothers hadn’t seen the completed room yet.

“This is...” Alexa moved past him, her gaze traveling all around the room. “It’s breathtaking and so perfect for an old farmhouse.”

She crossed the wide-planked wood floor and stopped at the edge of the gray rug. Hayes moved on into the room, shoving his hands in his pockets and waiting for her to finish assessing.

Her bare feet padded over the rug and to the end of his king-size bed. “That wall of old boards is amazing.”

“Those are from the original flooring that was in here. I’m reusing as much as I can to keep the place authentic, but still adding in the best fixtures and modern amenities like heated floors, lights and blinds on timers, security with motion cameras. There’s so much to do in each room, it will definitely take some time.”

Family and heritage meant something to him. Actually, it meant everything because at the end of the day, that was the only thing keeping him sane. After what happened overseas, if he hadn’t had a sanctuary like Pebblebrook to come home to, Hayes knew he would’ve lost his mind.

Alexa took her time going between the built-ins he’d refinished, to the fireplace with original detailing and scrollwork extending up to the ceiling, and the wide window with custom-built seating and storage beneath. The crown molding had been refinished and he’d also kept the ceiling medallion and painted it white to match the rest of the clean lines.

After several moments in silence, Alexa turned to face him. “This is so impressive. All the detail, all the original touches that make this still feel like a farmhouse, but more up-to-date. The colors aren’t what I’d have expected you to choose.”

Intrigued that she’d given this any thought, Hayes hooked his thumbs through his belt loops. “And what did you think I’d do in here? Black like my soul?”

She tipped up a corner of her mouth and lifted her brows in silent agreement. “Or maybe a little happier, like charcoal to match your eyes.”

Before he could question her on her reasoning, Alexa spun in another circle. She froze when she spotted the pocket door across the room. “The bathroom is in here?”

Taking off without waiting for his answer, Alexa slid the door open and gasped another surprise. “Hayes, oh my word. It’s gorgeous.”

He stayed back, though he knew she found the soaker tub on the far wall when he heard her delight. He’d purposely placed it right in front of the wide window. Not that he took baths, but it would make for a relaxing spot at the end of the day.

The oversize shower, big enough for four people, at least, caught her eye next. There was the pale gray tile on the floor, the original sinks he’d revamped by putting them in the old dressers from the spare bedrooms. They were mismatched, but painted the same crisp white. Still the farmhouse vibe with a touch of flair.

“Expecting company?” she asked, pointing to the shower.

He met her sly grin with a shrug. “You never know.”

“I’d probably never get out of that tub if this were my bedroom.”

“I’m not much of a bath taker unless I need to work out my muscles after a hard day, but a bathroom like this calls for a giant tub.”

Her smile transformed into something soft, sweet. “Mason loves baths.”

Mason? Hayes crossed his arms over his chest.

“Your boyfriend takes baths?”

Alexa’s soft laugh filled the spacious room. “Mason is my son. He’s fourteen months old.”

She pulled her cell from her pocket and swiped the screen. “He’s all boy,” she beamed, showing him an image of a little guy with her dark eyes and olive skin tone. He sat in the middle of a pile of dirt wearing nothing but a diaper and boots. “He loves playing outside and getting messy, so bath time is just another adventure.”

Alexa went on and on, flipping from one image to another. Her entire demeanor had changed and she was positively beaming as she talked about her son.

Her son.

Hayes hadn’t seen that coming. That would explain her questions and trying to dig into his world. She was a nurturer by default and thought she could legitimately help him.

That was a big hell no and now that he knew the status of her personal life, that definitely changed the dynamic. This was the first he’d heard mention of a child...and most likely why she’d worried about her cell phone earlier.

Alexa being a single mother was a complete game-changer. That was reason alone for him to keep his hands to himself, but add her motherhood to his screwed-up life... Yeah. He needed to run fast and far, but he was stuck right here with temptation personified for the time being.

The last thing he needed was to get involved, on any level, with a woman with a child. He was messed up enough as it was, but to put any of his darkness onto an innocent child? No. Hell no.

“You’re holding up remarkably well for someone who is stranded away from her son.”

Moisture gathered in her eyes as she dropped the phone to her side. Apparently he’d said the wrong thing. He wasn’t exactly known for his people skills. Which was just one of the many reasons he kept to himself.

“This is my first time away from him,” she admitted, tipping her chin up and blinking back tears. “My friend Sadie forced me to take a solitary vacation. She’s the one who booked my long weekend at the B and B and she’s babysitting. I don’t know what I’d do without her.”

Hayes didn’t have friends like that. He had his brothers. That was all the support he needed. Friends, and fiancées, weren’t reliable. At one time, he’d believed those in his inner circle were everything to him, but now he knew better. His eyes had definitely been opened, his heart hardened.

Maybe he shouldn’t have been so gruff with Alexa earlier. She obviously missed her child and now she was trapped with a virtual stranger.

“Two of my brothers have kids,” he found himself saying. “They’re interesting. I don’t know much about them other than they play and make a mess.”

Alexa smiled. “That sums it up. Being a mother is the most important job I’ve ever had.”

Hayes nodded. What could he say? Being a parent was never going to be a job for him. Good for those people who wanted children and took the time to nurture them, but Hayes could barely care for his own peace of mind, let alone a child’s.

And he knew now that “Uncle Hayes” was around, Colt and Nolan would want him to be involved. Family was important to the Elliotts, but Hayes wasn’t so sure he was the best role model for his twin nieces and nephew. Dealing with babies wasn’t exactly something he was taught while he’d been jumping out of planes.

The rain continued to pelt down hard on the tin roof, which should have made for good sleeping weather. But if his demons didn’t keep him awake, then Alexa being there would.

The flash of lightning and a hard clap of thunder put a viselike grip around his throat and squeezed. Hayes flung himself across the room and tackled her to the floor, sending her phone sliding across the tile. Instinct had him shielding her and taking the brunt of the fall. Pain shot through his leg.

He opened his eyes, focusing on how close Alexa’s face was to his. There wasn’t pity in her dark gaze, but understanding staring back at him. He didn’t want to know what had occurred in her life that she could comprehend this level of hell.

“So doors and thunder.” She shifted her weight off him, but put her hands on his cheeks. “What else do I need to look out for while I’m here? I don’t want to trigger anything.”

She wanted to cure him—those motherly instincts obviously kicking in. He didn’t want to be mothered. He lived in the real world where he was permanently broken.

Sex was fine. But she was easing her way into his mind with expert grace.

Damn it. She was getting to him. The way she’d spoken about her son with obvious love had him admiring her even more than before, but that wasn’t a mental green light to act on his attraction. Loyalty and family were so engrained in his life, how could he not appreciate a mother’s love for her young son?

But she was here. Right here, touching him. Damn it. Resisting her was damn near impossible, no matter what common sense kept telling him.

Hayes’s hands slid down her sides to rest on her flared hips. Silence settled heavily between them, but she continued to stare, waiting on him to reply. He could think of so much more to do than get into this discussion.

“Tell me,” she urged, smoothing his hair away from his forehead before sitting up. She sat next to him on the bathroom floor as if this were the most normal way to converse. Reaching for her phone, she clutched it like a lifeline...which it actually was. “I’m not judging, Hayes. I’m not mocking you or anything else. I care.”

He snorted and came to his feet. “You just met me. You don’t care.”

Carly had cared. His CO had cared. Look where that had gotten him.

“You think because we just met today that I can’t care?” She jumped up and blocked his path out of the room. Those dark eyes searched his face. “I make a living caring, wondering how I can make people’s lives easier. I don’t have to know you to question how I can help. It’s human decency.”

Needing to get away from her expressive eyes and delicate touch, Hayes eased around her, not at all surprised when she sidestepped to block him once again. This woman could drive him absolutely mad in so many different ways.

“Nothing you can do.”

Crossing her arms over her chest, she gave a curt nod. “Fine. Then I’ll just go out on the porch and watch the storm. I always loved a good storm anyway. It’s relaxing.”

When she spun around with that chin tipped up and those shoulders back, Hayes reached for her arm. Alexa stilled, but didn’t look back.

“Civilian life is still an adjustment,” he admitted. “Believe me, if I thought you had some magical way to help, I’d let you. But in reality, you’re just here because you’re stranded and probably in a few hours, you’ll be back next door at my sister-in-law’s B and B. Our paths won’t cross again.”

Alexa glanced back, her now dry hair shielded half her face. “I may not be magical, but that doesn’t mean I can’t help. You shut me down before giving me a chance.”

Sliding loose from his hold, she left him standing alone in the bathroom. That woman was something. No, she was more. She was intriguing, sexy, compassionate...a mother. That last trait was something he had to keep reminding himself about. It made her even more off-limits. Hadn’t he just seen at least ten pictures of her posing with her son? She had a normal life to get back to and he was just a blip on her radar.

There was so much that made up this intriguing woman. He found each layer appealing, even her being a mother. Because being a single mother could be difficult. She had to be strong and courageous.

Damn it all. He didn’t want to discover any more layers to Alexa. He needed to stick with sexy and curvaceous. Physical traits were all he should focus on. There was room for nothing else. If she thought she could help him, she’d try again before she left. He had no idea what she did for a living, but from the way she touched him, the way she’d looked into his eyes just now, and the hurt in her tone before she left, Alexa truly believed she could do something for him. His brothers thought so, too. But they were living their own lives with their own families.

Raking a hand down his face, Hayes decided to see if Alexa’s clothes were dry. Much more of seeing her parade around in his shirt was certainly going to cause him to reach his breaking point.