Читать книгу Desire Collection: January Books 1 – 4 - Maisey Yates, Joss Wood - Страница 24

Fifteen

The handshaking, fake smiles, impromptu speech and that damn shiny award with his name engraved on the gold plate were all sickening.

Hayes drove back toward Alexa’s home. It was close to midnight according to the glow from the dash clock. Alexa had slipped her shoes off onto the floorboard of his sporty car. He’d opted for something nicer than his truck, mostly for Alexa because he didn’t give a damn what anyone else thought of him.

She hadn’t said a word since they left. It was almost as if she knew he needed to be alone inside his mind. That was what was so great about her. She just knew what he needed.

“Seven of my best friends were killed that day.” He wound through the streets leading to her town house. He didn’t even realize he’d started speaking, but now that he’d started, he found he didn’t want to stop. “We were sent in to rescue three women and eighteen girls at a school that had been overtaken. We had a solid plan, but nothing is foolproof.”

Alexa reached across, sliding her hand over his on the console. Silence settled between them, but her act of compassion spoke volumes. Damn it. She was getting to him. He’d known she was, had known the more he was with her the more likely he was to want more of her.

“I’ll spare you the details, but there was an ambush,” he added, trying in vain to block the images that played like a horror movie inside his head. “The women and girls were saved, I was spared, but...”

“I won’t tell you not to have survivor’s guilt.” Her soft words filled the cramped area. “That’s human nature to wonder what if. I went through it. I’m still going through it. I wonder what would’ve happened had we known about my husband’s condition. Could we have prevented his death? But I can’t get stuck in that mind-set, mostly because of Mason. He deserves to have his mother at one hundred percent.”

“Mason is a lucky boy,” Hayes stated. “I’m sure he’ll know how loved he is.”

Alexa sighed. “That’s my hope. But you’re doing remarkably well, considering. You only tensed a few times tonight being with all those people.”

He turned his hand over, lacing his fingers with hers. “Figures you’d notice.”

“I know you,” she said simply.

Wasn’t that the truth. After such a short time, she’d honed right in on what made him tick, what his fears were, how to handle them. He hadn’t wanted to show any vulnerability, but Alexa never made him feel as if he had. She made him feel...human. Like everything he was going through was okay and he’d make it.

“I just pictured your underwear.”

Her laughter warmed him, taking him to that place that was so perfect, so right. He hadn’t thought such a place existed after he’d come home, but since meeting Alexa, he’d discovered maybe there was a bright spot in the world. Maybe that was the one thing he shouldn’t fear.

“I could tell when you’d look at me across the room,” she told him. “I knew exactly what you were thinking.”

“Good. Because I’m about to show you exactly what was running through my mind.”

He pulled into her drive and barely got the car in park before he reached across and cupped the back of her head, bringing her mouth to his.

Finally. He hadn’t kissed her all evening, hadn’t touched her in the way he’d wanted to. In short, he’d been on his best behavior.

Now, he was about to be on his worst. He reached for the zipper on the back of the dress. “How the hell did you get into this thing?” he growled against her lips.

Alexa laughed, her eyes shining bright as she stared back at him. “Side zipper, but we better get inside before my neighbors see us making out like teenagers.”

“Your neighbors’ lights are off.”

Alexa tugged on the door handle. “I’m not taking the chance.”

Hayes followed her inside. They barely made it in the door before he backed her up against it, flicked the lock and caged her head between his forearms.

“You have three seconds to get that side zipper or I’m going to rip this dress off.”

Her hands were moving as she tossed her head back with a sultry laugh. “You paid for it.”

“Best money I’ve ever spent.”

As the dress peeled away and fell below her breasts, Hayes was on her. He couldn’t get enough and this entire evening of foreplay had nearly done him in. Watching her curves move beneath that red dress, the way her dark hair flowed around her shoulders, seeing her laugh across the room, then catch his eye. He knew he wasn’t the only one thinking of this.

Her little striptease had him jerking his uniform off, quickly ridding himself of everything so he could be skin to skin. They still hadn’t turned on lights, but he didn’t need them. There wasn’t a spot on her body he wasn’t familiar with.

He lifted her against the door, dipping his head to capture her mouth once again. Alexa’s legs locked around his waist and he wasted no time in joining their bodies. Finesse would come later—much later. Right now he had a need that had been building all night.

Her fingers dug into his shoulders as she arched that sweet body against his. Hayes slid a hand down the dip in her waist and over the flare of her hip, gripping her to hold her in place. She dug her heels into his backside and Hayes knew she was on the brink.

He tore his lips from hers and shifted just enough to see her face. The slight glow from the porch light filtered in through the window, slashing just enough of a beam across her face for him to fully appreciate her pleasure.

“Look at me,” he commanded, squeezing her hip.

Those black eyes immediately locked onto his and a second later she cried out. That’s exactly what he’d been waiting on. Seeing her come apart in his arms, knowing he was the one who made her lose control was all he wanted. Her hips quickened as she came apart and that’s all it took to have him joining her.

Hayes’s body trembled as he fisted one hand on the door beside her head and continued to hold on to her hip. His knee was starting to shake from being too weak, but hell if he’d give in now.

Alexa ran her fingertips up and down his back, his arms, murmuring something in Spanish as he came down from the tremors. Resting his forehead against hers, he pulled in a breath of sweet jasmine...the same scent she’d tortured him with all night.

“Do you have the energy to get to the bedroom?” she asked.

Hayes laughed. “If it’s not far. Or we could sleep here on the floor.”

“Let me down,” she told him, untangling her legs from his waist. “Your knee has to be hurting.”

He stepped back and said nothing.

“Exactly,” she confirmed. “You shifted too much and kept fisting your hand by my head. Get in bed and rest that.”

Hayes instantly lifted her up and over his shoulder.

“Put me down,” she cried, smacking his back. “Hayes, your leg is going to give out and we’ll both be down.”

“Like hell,” he growled. “I’ll rest it when we get in there. Better yet, you can give me a rubdown. Now tell me where the bedroom is.”

“Last door on the right.”

He palmed her backside, earning him another laugh from her. Damn, that laugh made everything seem so right, so perfect. Could such happiness be his for the taking? Alexa had lost her husband and never claimed to be looking for a relationship. Hell, he hadn’t either, but the idea of letting her go, the thought of another man even touching her settled a new level of rage within him.

She also hadn’t mentioned wanting or even needing a man to fill the role of daddy to her son. Maybe that’s not something she wanted at all. It was one thing to be involved in an affair, but quite another to become a family.

Hayes’s eyes had gotten used to the darkness and the small night-light glowing from Mason’s bedroom across the hall lit up enough for him to make out the shape of her bed. Hayes dropped her on the end and instantly was on her.

“I’ll take that rubdown in a bit,” he told her as he covered her body with his. “First I’m going to show you exactly how thankful I am that you went with me tonight.”

* * *

Alexa stretched, smiling when her body protested. She was sore in the most glorious ways. The sun shone through the sheers of her room and one thick arm draped across her midsection. How could she not wake up with a smile on her face after last night?

She was glad she’d let Mason stay over with Sadie. Alexa knew they’d get home late and didn’t want to put Sadie out too much...or more than she already was. But Sadie was so happy that Alexa was going on a date, she’d eagerly volunteered to watch Mason all night.

Hayes shifted and groaned, and his heavy leg slid over hers. The coarse hairs made her shiver. Who knew all the little things she missed from a man’s touch? Obviously, he was the first man in this bed since Scott...but Alexa didn’t feel like this was wrong in any way.

That’s how she knew it was time to come clean about who her husband was.

She flattened her hand over Hayes’s arm and slid it up and over his shoulder. Keeping her eyes on his face, she watched as his lids fluttered. His hold on her tightened as he pulled her closer.

“Stop, temptress,” he mumbled.

Alexa couldn’t help but laugh. “You slept good.”

“I’d keep sleeping if you weren’t feeling me up.”

Shifting in his arms, Alexa nipped at his chin. “I believe I woke with your bare arm over my midsection and then you wrapped your leg around me. You want to be felt up.”

Hayes slid his hand over her bare hip and settled on the dip in her waist. Alexa’s body instantly responded, but then he curled those fingers in and started tickling her.

“Hayes,” she squealed. “Stop that.”

A cell started ringing somewhere in the house. She didn’t recognize the tone, so it must be his. She smacked at his arms as he continued to tickle her. He wrestled her beneath him as she continued to wriggle around and try to dodge the torture.

“Your cell,” she panted, trying to breathe. “It’s... Stop that. It’s ringing.”

Hayes loomed over her, the widest smile on his face. She hadn’t seen him like that before. A smirk here and there, a naughty grin, sure. But a full-fledged genuine smile was staring back at her. Alexa’s heart tumbled over in her chest.

“What’s that look for?” he asked, resting his hands on either side of her head. “You were just laughing and now you look on the verge of tears.”

The cell stopped in the other room, silence once again settling around them.

“I haven’t been this happy in a long time.” She reached up, framed his face and stared into his eyes. “I didn’t think I could be, but you’ve done something to me. I wasn’t expecting this.”

“I—”

His cell went off again. With a sigh, he eased off her and turned to head from the room. He’d only taken two steps when he froze. His shoulders tensed and Alexa followed his line of vision.

Her heart immediately sank. How could she have forgotten about that photo? The wedding picture of her and Scott had sat so long on her dresser, and she hadn’t been able to remove it after his death. Then she just...didn’t.

The cell continued to ring, the only thing breaking through the heavy tension. Hayes slowly made his way to the silver frame and picked it up. Alexa sat up in the bed, pulling the comforter up and under her arms.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” he asked.

Alexa closed her eyes, not wanting to see his face when he turned around. She was a coward—clearly.

“I didn’t know at first,” she said. “Then I didn’t think we’d see each other anymore.”

When he didn’t say anything, Alexa risked looking up, but wished she hadn’t. Hayes stood at the end of her bed, clutching the picture in one hand and staring at her as if he hadn’t just been with her all night, as if everything up until this point had been a lie.

“What’s your excuse for all the times you’ve seen me since then?” he asked.

“I have no excuse,” she muttered, picking at the thread on the comforter. “I was going to tell you, but I didn’t know how. When you first mentioned his name, I was so shocked. Then I knew what we had was temporary so I figured I would keep it to myself and not make things awkward. Plus, talking about Scott with you seemed wrong, like if I started opening up about him too much it would seem like I was ready to move on and I didn’t know if I was.”

The muscle ticked in his jaw. The cell stopped, then started seconds later, and finally stopped again.

“Then when you showed up at my house and we fell back into...well, us, I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t expected to see you again and I was afraid if I said anything you’d see it as betrayal. There was no good time, Hayes.”

She wanted him to look at her so she could see his eyes, to hopefully get a glimpse of what he was thinking, feeling.

“I didn’t want you hurt any more,” she whispered. “I care for you. You have to know that.”

Hayes cursed and sat the picture at the end of the bed. He stared at it a moment before raking a hand through his messy hair.

He turned without looking at her and stormed from her room. Alexa climbed out of bed and quickly pulled on a T-shirt and panties. As she headed down the hall, she saw Hayes holding the cell between his ear and his shoulder. He hopped from one foot to the other pulling on his pants.

“I’ll be there in five minutes.”

He shoved the cell in his pants pocket, grabbed his jacket and shoes without putting them on.

“My father had a stroke,” he told her without looking her way.

Alexa stepped forward. “I’ll drive—”

“No.” That sharp gaze of his cut to her. “You’re getting your wish. We don’t have to see each other anymore and then you won’t have to worry about telling me any more truths you conveniently forgot.”

Her heart broke, shattered. “Hayes.”

He jerked on the door and stepped out, not bothering to spare her one last glance. The door didn’t slam, but the final click resonated throughout the open space.

Wrapping her arms around her midsection, Alexa stared at the door. He was gone. She’d done this. Had he not seen that picture, had she told him the minute she realized who his best friend had been, she would probably be with him now.

Who would be there for him? How bad off was his father? Alexa knew how much his family meant to him and knew how fragile his father’s health had been.

How would Hayes cope? With all the ugliness he’d experienced, Alexa prayed he wouldn’t lose his father.

She padded back to the bedroom, stopping just inside the bedroom door to look at the messed-up bed and the image of her and Scott on their wedding day.

It didn’t matter that he’d told her he didn’t want to see her again; she had to explain herself. Not that she had much defense, but she had to go to him. She couldn’t let him believe she’d set out on betrayal. Plus, she needed to check on him regarding his father.

Tonight, she’d go to him and pray she hadn’t lost this second chance she’d been given. How often did anyone get another shot at love? She’d been so afraid before, too scared to even think about opening her heart, but not anymore. Hayes had taught her all about courage and just how strong she was.

To think she’d been worried about having a man in Mason’s life. There was no better man to fill the role of father to her sweet son. Hayes might be afraid, but she wasn’t going to let him hide and she wasn’t going to let him think for a second that she’d hurt him on purpose.

She would make him see that she loved him, that they belonged together...that they were a family.