Читать книгу Desire Collection: January Books 1 – 4 - Maisey Yates, Joss Wood - Страница 21

Twelve

“If you’re going to sulk and be moody, then go home.”

Hayes ignored Nolan’s comment and patted Jumper’s side. He hadn’t ridden his horse in five days. Not since he’d brought her back after Alexa left.

Actually, he hadn’t been down to the stables since then at all. He’d been doing some behind-the-scenes work for the dude ranch, contacting engineers to do some surveying since they’d decided to add another set of cabins on the west side of the property. Hayes was fine with that locale. Nolan could oversee it once it was up and running.

When he hadn’t been working with the settings and contractual aspects, Hayes had spent many sweaty hours in his kitchen. But every time he’d try to demo or stand back and think exactly what he wanted, he saw Alexa in there. He heard her telling him about her family and the gatherings and how he should have a large table stretching down the length of the room.

“Go home.”

Hayes glanced up at Colt’s demand and found both brothers staring at him now. “I’m tending to my horse. If I’m offending you two, why don’t you leave?”

Colt shifted his boots on the stone walkway between the stalls and crossed his arms over his chest. If he thought that would intimidate Hayes, that was absurd. Nothing got to him anymore.

Well, one person did. She’d gotten to him with her compassion, the way she spoke of Mason, the images he’d seen of how she held her son like he was the most precious thing on earth. There was so much love in a woman like that.

“Listen, we’ve given you space to deal with the hell you’ve endured. I know you don’t want to talk about it, but since your houseguest left, you’ve been especially standoffish.”

Hayes smoothed a hand down Jumper’s mane and snorted. “How the hell would you know? This is the first time you’ve seen me in days.”

“You ignored my texts and didn’t return my call about the engineer’s ideas,” Colt countered.

“I’ve been busy.”

Trying to sleep without Alexa.

How insane was that? He’d actually slept with her only the one night, but for some reason that was the best rest he’d had since he’d come home. Maybe it was the sex relaxing him, but he didn’t think so. Alexa understood him. She hadn’t pushed verbally, but emotionally she’d been there. They were virtual strangers, yet they knew each other in the most intimate of ways.

“What the hell happened?” Nolan asked, then held out his hands. “No, don’t tell me. If you like her, why are you here?”

Hayes glanced back toward his meddling brothers. “I refuse to get into some locker room chatter. Whatever happened between Alexa and myself is between us.”

“Annabelle said she was crying when she came back to get her things,” Colt supplied. The concern in his eyes could barely be seen beneath the wide brim of his hat, but Hayes missed nothing. “I saw how the two of you were.”

“You saw us kissing,” Hayes corrected. “Don’t read any further into it.”

“After that.” Colt uncrossed his arms and took a step forward. “I saw the way you two looked at each other, the way you stared after her when she left. Don’t tell me it was all physical because I don’t believe it.”

Hayes stared for a second before he turned his focus back to his mare. “I don’t care what you believe.”

But he did care that Alexa was crying. He shouldn’t care. He should just let her go. When he’d asked her to stay he’d had a moment of weakness, though he hadn’t been lying when he’d told her it was only so she’d stay in his bed. That was precisely where he wanted her and five days later his need was just as strong, if not stronger.

“Have you been to see Father lately?” Nolan asked, thankfully changing the subject.

Hayes led Jumper back into her stall. “I was there yesterday. He didn’t know me, but he knew my name. He kept referring to the time I fell into the river.”

“You were eight,” Nolan stated. “He’s been in that time frame for a while now. I think that’s where he wants to stay. When I’m there, he’s always talking about Mom, but we’re all very young.”

Hayes hated seeing his father robbed of his memories, of his dignity. They’d gotten him the best care possible and kept the rumors about the Elliott patriarch at bay. Nobody outside the immediate family needed to know just how bad their father was.

As much as he hated seeing his once robust dad in such shape, Hayes made a point to visit every few days. He knew his brothers did the same and they tried not to go on the same days so as not to confuse him. The dude ranch had been his baby and no matter what happened with his health, the Elliott brothers would see this through...which was just another reason he didn’t have time to get swept away in some affair.

The weekend was enough. It had to be.

“Pepper said Alexa came into the store yesterday.”

Hayes shot Nolan a glare, to which Nolan merely shrugged.

“And how does she know Alexa?”

“Stone River isn’t that large of a town,” Nolan replied. “And nearly everyone has been in Pepper’s shop.”

Nolan’s wife had opened a flower shop that also showcased her one-of-a-kind paintings. Apparently the store had been thriving since the grand opening last year. No doubt Nolan had a hand in helping to make sure his wife’s venture was a huge success.

Hayes slid the stall door closed, then turned and hooked his thumbs through his belt loops. “Is there a point to this story?” he asked his brother.

Nolan merely smiled. “Just gauging your reaction.”

Glancing from brother to brother, Hayes took his hat off and tapped it against the side of his leg. “This is why I rarely come down here. Being analyzed by you two is not my idea of work or a good time. I’m fine. Okay, I’m not, but I will be.”

“Is this the war trauma or your houseguest we’re talking about now?” Colt asked, leaning against the stall on the opposite side of the walkway.

Hayes leveled his gaze. “All of it.”

Colt nodded and turned away. Heading toward the open end of the stables, he called over his shoulder, “Annabelle has Alexa’s address on file.”

Hayes clenched his teeth as Nolan stared with that damn smirk on his face. “Shut up.”

He didn’t want his meddling brothers, or his sisters-in-law, getting in his personal business. Though apparently it was a little too late for that.

Without a word, Hayes spun on his booted heel and left the stables. He either needed to work on some more demo to get this frustration out of his head or he...

No. That’s not what he needed to do. He’d cut ties with Alexa. He’d learned his lesson about getting tangled up with the wrong woman and Alexa being a single mother was definitely not for him. Not that he didn’t love kids. He adored his brothers’ children. How could he not? Two beautiful twin girls and a bouncing baby boy?

There was just so much evil Hayes had seen. All the nightmares he had, sleeping and awake, would not be a good atmosphere for a child. Being an uncle was a far cry from being hands-on with a child every day and if he and Alexa became involved, he’d want to be hands-on. That goal from when he was younger still lived deep inside him. The goal of a family, of children. But he’d had to ignore that need—he’d had to push it so far down it wouldn’t creep up and make him realize he was missing everything he’d wanted for his future.

Hayes hopped into his truck and pulled up the drive leading to his house. As he passed the main house, Annabelle sat on the porch swing watching her twin girls playing at her feet.

A small tug of jealousy slithered through him, but the unwanted emotion had no place in his life. Growing up, he’d always thought he’d have a family and they’d all live here on the ranch. Then life happened and reality smacked him in the face with a sledgehammer.

He threw up a hand in greeting when Annabelle lifted her head and smiled as he drove by. His brothers may have found happiness, and he was grateful they were bringing up another generation of Elliotts for the next chapter in their lives.

But if anyone was looking to him to carry on the name, well, they were wasting their time. Hayes wasn’t about to take over rearing a child.

* * *

“You are so rotten.”

Alexa laughed as she settled Mason onto her lap. She sat on the stoop and held her son in one hand and the container of bubbles in the other. Well, the now empty container, since Mason had opted to dump the bottle down her legs.

Good thing she was barefoot and in shorts. Mason only wore his swim trunks and a little dirt on his feet from where he’d been running around in their meager front yard for a while. The postage-stamp-size yard was such a disappointment after seeing the spread on Pebblebrook.

Alexa groaned. That certainly wasn’t the first time that ranch, or the sexy rancher, had flooded her mind over the past week. It had been seven days since she’d left and there wasn’t a day that went by where she didn’t wonder what he was doing, how he was doing. Was he sleeping? Was he still tearing out the kitchen?

“Play.” Mason clapped his hands, then smacked her legs. “Play.”

Alexa sat the bottle next to her thigh and wrapped her arms around his slender little frame. “You silly boy. You dumped all the bubbles on Mommy. They’re all gone.”

“No.”

“Yes,” she countered. “They’re all gone.”

Mason reached over her hold and picked up the bottle. Turning it upside down, he shook it. A few random drops filtered out, onto her leg once again, and his lip started quivering.

“More,” he cried.

“How about we clean up and go to the park?” she suggested.

The park was about a twenty-minute drive, but it had a fabulous play area and a nice walking path where she could take him for a stroll once he tired of playing. That way he got a nap and she got a little workout.

Granted the best workout she’d had in ages was the sledgehammer to the cabinets.

And once again her thoughts circled back to Hayes. Why couldn’t that man just leave her head? In such a short time, he’d embedded himself so deeply into her life she worried what would’ve happened had she stayed longer.

Alexa shifted Mason and came to her feet, holding him against her hip. “Want to go swing and slide?”

He nodded, despite the tears in his eyes. “Swing.”

“Let’s go get some shoes and a shirt for you,” she told him. “Then—”

The words died as a big, black truck pulled into her short drive and stopped right against her garage door. She’d seen that truck. And the man inside it had haunted her dreams for the past week.

What was he doing here?

“Truck, truck, truck,” Mason chanted.

Adjusting her hold on her son, Alexa hated that her first thought was how frightening she must look. She was wearing her go-to outfit: old cutoff shorts, neon yellow to really accentuate how wide her backside was, and an old white tank with paint stains.

Oh, well. He’d come to her so he was going to have to see her in all her tacky glory. No doubt he had on another pair of those hip-hugging jeans, a T-shirt that stretched across glorious muscle tone and that familiar black hat with a brim, shielding a most impressive set of black eyes from the sun.

The man just sat there staring at her. Well, she assumed he was. That hat shadowed half his face. Was he going to get out? Had he changed his mind about visiting her? Were they in some warped staring contest?

Mason patted her cheek, pulling Alexa from her trance. She smiled at her son, though her stomach was in knots. She’d needed to break from Hayes. As amazing as their time together had been, she had to keep her distance.

He had been her husband’s best friend. Hayes valued honesty and commitment and after all he’d been through, she wasn’t sure he’d be too happy with sleeping with his best friend’s widow.

The second his door swung open, Alexa pulled in a deep breath and stepped down onto the narrow walkway leading to her portion of the drive.

As he rounded the hood, her heart clenched and she couldn’t stop herself from raking her gaze over him. Indeed, he wore exactly what she’d feared and he was absolute perfection. These seven days apart had done nothing to settle that attraction rooted deeply inside her.

“What are you doing here?” she asked as he came closer. Not the friendliest greeting, but they’d agreed to be done.

“Seeing you.”

He said the words so simply as if leaving his ranch wasn’t a big deal.

“You never leave home,” she reminded him. “Or that’s what the rumor has been.”

He nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. “Some things are worth leaving for.”

Now, why did he have to go and say things like that? Why did he have to make this about more than physical? Because showing up unannounced at her home was definitely taking things to another level.

“Wait. How did you know where I lived?” she asked, shifting Mason to her other hip. “Never mind. I’m sure you just asked your sister-in-law.”

Mason reached out toward Hayes’s hat, but Alexa eased back. “No, baby.”

“He’s fine.”

Alexa held on to her son’s hand. “He’d pull your hat off and chew on it or throw it down.”

Hayes took his hat off. “And that would be just fine.”

He held the hat out to Mason. Alexa did not want this little bonding moment, no matter how harmless. Nothing about Hayes Elliott was harmless.

Not only had she gotten way too attached during those few days, she now carried a secret that would no doubt anger him and make him look at her with disdain and resentment. She’d rather not have that hanging over her. Hayes had been hurt enough.

Mason grabbed the hat and sure enough, the brim went straight to his mouth.

“Oh, Mason,” she cried. “Don’t do that.”

Hayes’s mouth quirked into a grin. “He’s really fine.”

Yeah, but she wasn’t. Watching another man interact with her son...well, that was something she hadn’t prepared herself for. Mason wasn’t used to being around men. Alexa never dated, certainly never brought a guy to her house, and the babysitter was a woman. Mason didn’t really have an adult male in his life.

And she sure as hell couldn’t let Hayes into her son’s life. The fragility of her heart where this man was concerned was simply too much. And he was in such a delicate state himself. No matter how amazing they’d been together, him showing up here was a bad idea.

“Why are you here?” she murmured.

“You already asked that.”

Alexa lifted her eyes to meet his. “You never answered.”

“I told you I wanted to see you.”

She quirked a brow.

“Fine. What do you want me to say?” He put the hat on Mason’s head and lifted her son from her arms. Shocked, Alexa watched as Hayes smiled down at Mason as if this were the most normal thing in the world. “Do you want me to tell you my sleep has gone back to hell since you left? That when I walk in my kitchen I wonder if you’d like what I’ve done? That I put up a damn tire swing because you mentioned it?”

Oh, no. This was even worse than she’d thought.

“We agreed—”

He held up his free hand. “Yes. We agreed to be physical. I miss the hell out of you, Alexa. I’m not here to ask for a relationship or even marriage. I want you and when I want something, I make sure I have it.”

Mason ran his hands over Hayes’s stubbled jaw. Back and forth, his little fingers raked over the dark hair along his chin. Alexa couldn’t tear her eyes away. They were literally bonding right before her eyes and she couldn’t do a thing to stop it.

“You can’t just come here and expect me to... What? What do you think will happen now?”

Hayes strong hands held her son so tightly. “Come back to the house with me.”

“No.”

Those lips twitched again as if he were trying not to smile or laugh. It was great to see that emotion from him, but at the same time, she couldn’t fall into that rabbit hole.

“Bring Mason. Play in the yard. That’s what you wanted, right? A yard for your son?”

Alexa narrowed her gaze. “You’re not playing fair.”

He eased closer, his eyes dropping to her lips. “We’ve already established I’m not playing and I never said I was fair.”

Mason turned his head, causing the hat to bump against Hayes’s face and topple to the ground. Alexa quickly scooped it up and handed it back to Hayes before reaching for her son.

“We’re headed to the park,” she informed him. “So, if you’ll excuse us.”

He remained right where he was, unmoving, barely blinking. The way he stared at her with those dark eyes made her wonder if he could see into her soul. Could one broken person actually connect so deeply with another?

Alexa shook off the haunting thought.

“You get me,” he stated, taking a half step closer. “Hell, I’ve only known you a week and there were ways you understood me better than my own family.”

Swallowing, Alexa adjusted Mason as he laid his head on her shoulder. Apparently he was ready for a nap, so maybe the park wasn’t in their immediate future.

“That’s not true,” she argued. There was no way.

“Do you think it was easy for me to come here?” he asked. “I battled this for a week, but damn it, I want you to come back to my house. Just come for the day and I’ll drive you back.”

Alexa laughed. “This is absurd, Hayes. You’re getting caught up in a moment that passed.”

In a lightning-flash move, he snaked an arm around her waist and hauled her free side against him. “The moment didn’t pass. I still want you. I’ve been through hell, and when I see something or someone that will bring a semblance of happiness, I’m going to take it.”

Oh, mercy, she wanted him, too. The fierce need she had a week ago had only grown and now he was here and touching her, looking at her with the same hunger as he’d had when they’d been stranded and naked.

“Bring Mason. We’ll ride horses.”

Alexa closed her eyes. He’d put himself out there and come to her. He’d shoved aside his fear of leaving the ranch. He was inviting her son to ride horses, which he’d never done, and he wasn’t even close to backing down.

“Fine,” she whispered. “We’ll come. But I’m driving myself and I’m not spending the night.”

Hayes ran his lips along her jawline. “We’ll see.”

The shiver raced through her and Alexa vowed to herself not to sleep with Hayes again. Not with the secret she carried. Maybe one day, when he healed and they were friends?

No, not even then. Someone like Hayes would see sleeping with his late buddy’s wife as a betrayal. He could never know.