Читать книгу The Double Crown - Marié Heese - Страница 8

I am the chosen of the gods. I have always known that. This knowledge has been the source of my strength and my power, and it is the reason why I know that those who now seek my death and desire to usurp my throne shall not succeed.

Yet I have decided that I must make a secret record with details about those whom I do not trust. I shall give the scrolls that I produce into the keeping of my scribe, the faithful Mahu. If I die a wrongful death, he must hand them to someone in power who will avenge me. Mahu will have to decide who the right person might be. I shall ensure that there will be sufficient evidence to see to it that the guilty, if such there are, suffer the just punishment of the gods and do not reap great benefits from treason.

Also I intend to write down the truth regarding my time as Pharaoh, ruler over the Two Lands. It is so that the main events of my reign are engraved upon the walls of the funerary temple at Djeser-Djeseru that my devoted Senenmut built for me, and upon the steles I have had erected. The living stone will bear witness to my deeds. But I fear that those who seek my death, should they succeed, might even attempt to destroy that proud record. Although I am certain that I can prevail, I shall nonetheless ensure that another record exists on the humble material created from papyrus, a record that Mahu could hide if needs be and that would survive. For those who would take my life would also steal my name, and so they would deprive my spirit of its home in the Afterlife. I will not let them take either my life or my immortality. I will not.

Besides, one can write on papyrus what one cannot write on stone. I am not an old woman – although I have seen forty risings of the Nile I am still vigorous – yet I feel the need to record my experiences, and to reflect on them. Sometimes it seems to me that time slides through one’s grasp like the waters of the great river, and what one has done and what one knows cannot be writ in water.

I have lived a life of some significance, I do believe. I followed a destiny unusual for a woman. I achieved greatness and I paid for it. Loss and loneliness have been my portion; but I have always served the Black Land and its people to the utmost of my ability and they have loved me in return. As I feel hostile forces gathering around me, as I begin to sense age taking its inexorable toll, I wish that my life may not be forgotten, neither its greater deeds nor the smaller things that have given me joy.

I have sailed the Nile at sunset, floating on a sheet of living gold. I have tasted the roasted liver of fat geese. I have heard the haunting songs of the blind bard. I have felt a child’s soft arms, a dying woman’s bony grip, a lover’s warm caress. I have inhaled the incense of the gods.

I feel that I must record these things. Here follow the secret writings of Ma’atkare Khnemet-Amen Hatshepsut, Female Horus of Fine Gold, King of Upper and Lower Egypt, and hereto I affix my seal.

I am Mahu, scribe to Pharaoh Hatshepsut, may she live for ever. With these few words, added later and scribbled in haste, I wish to attest that these scrolls were given into my keeping by the Pharaoh and that they are written in her own script. But I have not given them into the hands of any of the men of power, for I do not know whom I should trust. The scrolls are stored in a safe and dry place where they must be kept secret until I have decided who should read them.

Of course Her Majesty sealed the scrolls she gave into my keeping with the imprint of her royal cartouche. But I did not have the strength of mind to keep them in my possession without reading what she had written. I needed to know what I was involved in, but also I am only human and I was most curious about unfolding events and about Her Majesty’s intimate thoughts and feelings. So I confess it here: I broke the seals and I read the contents. Then I resealed the scrolls with my own scribe’s seal. But never did I alter anything Her Majesty had set down. So if one day these scrolls are found, whoever reads them will be reading the very words of Her Majesty. This I solemnly swear by the Ka of Thoth.

I did however add some writings of my own to support and to amplify the writings of my Pharaoh so that the record may be complete and correct, for that is my task as a scribe. Those that follow after should know the truth about Her Majesty. Certainly there are many records of King Hatshepsut’s reign, sculpted in statues, carved into the walls of temples, engraved on obelisks. Yet even that which is written on the living stone may be altered, as we have seen when a new Pharaoh takes over the temple of a predecessor and strikes out his cartouches, replacing them with his own. After all, it is written: “Be thou a scribe, for a book is more durable than a stele or pyramid; it will preserve thy name better than any monument.”

These writings could lead to my immediate execution should they fall into the wrong hands. It is a dangerous commission that Her Majesty has honoured me with, but by the Ka of Thoth, I shall carry it out faithfully. I have ever been a loyal follower and humble servant of King Hatshepsut, may she live for ever. May the gods help me not to fail the Pharaoh.