Читать книгу Why Is Jesus in the Microwave? Funny Stories from Catholic Classrooms - Mary Kathleen Glavich SND - Страница 10

4. Sacraments and Sacramentals

“Sister, is my medal blessed, or must I take it home and soak it in holy water?”

Education Gap

In preparing her second-graders for the Sacrament of Reconciliation, Sister Karlene taught them about penance. She explained, “Father might say to you, ‘For your penance, say five Our Fathers.’ ”

After the students filed out of the room, one little boy remained at his desk crying. When Sister asked the reason for his tears, he sobbed, “I only know one Our Father, not the other four.”

Saturated with Grace

At a religious-goods sale, a second-grader bought a medal on a chain. Concerned that it be a real sacramental, he asked, “Sister, is my medal blessed, or must I take it home and soak it in holy water?”

Branded

A new fourth-grade student, who had never experienced Ash Wednesday before, nervously asked his teacher, “Are the ashes hot?”

Future Priest

Father was having Benediction for the school. When it was time for the blessing, the inexperienced altar boy did not move to get the cope.

“The cope,” Father prompted.

The boy walked over to the cope, picked it up, and wrapped it around his own shoulders.

A Lesson That Got Home

Mr. and Mrs. Brown took turns driving the sisters to teach CCD on Saturdays. One morning Mrs. Brown told this story:

She and Mr. Brown were having a discussion. At one point, the conversation was becoming a little heated. Suddenly, little Suzie, who had recently made her First Confession, interrupted.

“Daddy,” she said, “now you apologize to Mommy!”

Quite taken aback, Mr. Brown asked, “Why?”

Suzie explained, “Because you started an argument with Mommy.”

Mr. Brown then apologized. But little Suzie was not going to let her father off so easily. In a serious tone she continued, “Daddy, you know it’s not enough to just say you’re sorry. You have to try really hard never to do it again.”

“That does it,” said Mr. Brown. “Next week the sisters walk to school!”

According to Hoyle

The confirmandi had been told that during the ceremony they were to hand their name cards to the priest next to the bishop and he would return them. The first child stood before the bishop and was solemnly confirmed, but the assisting priest failed to return his card. Determined to follow the rubrics, the lad informed the priest and everyone within hearing, “But Sister said you should give it back to me.”

Smart Girl

Sister Marthe overheard some children acting out a wedding. The priest asked the bride, “Do you take him for better or worse?”

“For better,” the little girl said quickly.

The priest continued, “For richer or poorer?”

“For richer,” stated the miniature bride.

Giving Credit Where Credit’s Due

Three-year-old Jonathan came in to talk to Sister Joann, while his father, another teacher, was working in his classroom. Jonathan confessed to Sister that right before they came, he had not obeyed his parents. They were very angry and were going to spank him, but they didn’t.

“My, you were lucky!” Sister commented.

“Lucky! Not lucky! I was blessed!” Jonathan immediately corrected.

A Mystery

The fourth-graders were reviewing the mysteries of the Rosary. When they got to the sorrowful mysteries, Sister called on a child to name the fourth mystery. He responded, “The scorching at the pillar.”