Читать книгу Why Is Jesus in the Microwave? Funny Stories from Catholic Classrooms - Mary Kathleen Glavich SND - Страница 8

2. The Bible

“Jesus was walking along. He saw ten men who were very sick. Umm … they had a bad disease…. They were all leprechauns!”

Divine Tricks

Sister finished telling her first-graders the marvelous story of creation according to Genesis. Awed by the account, a little fellow concluded, “Gee, God must be a magician!”

The First Stork Story

The fourth-graders were studying the story of Adam and Eve. One thoughtful boy asked Sister Helen Louise, “Were Adam and Eve the only two people around?”

“Yes,” Sister replied.

“And did Eve have a baby?” the boy continued.

“Yes.”

Perplexed, the boy asked, “Then who cut the vocal cord?”

Bible Bungle

While correcting her third-graders’ tests, Sister Mary came upon this unique description of Moses: a man who took a man and woman of every kind on a boat.

A Major Mistake

In religion class, Sister Margaret asked her high school students, “What is the difference between the Major and Minor Prophets?”

There was a long silence. No one seemed to remember that the four Major Prophets were the ones who wrote the longest prophetic books in the Bible.

Finally, one student who knew something of Scripture guessed, “The major ones were there at the Resurrection, and the minor ones were hiding in the Upper Room.”

Accurate Records

Mike, a sixth-grader, was enlightened one day when Sister Bernadel explained that the Scripture reference Isaiah 7:14 stood for the book of Isaiah, chapter 7, verse 14. He confessed, “I thought that 7:14 meant the time Isaiah made the prophecy.”

Catholics in the Temple

One of Sister Anelle’s students read the Bible with a modern mind. He wondered why Jesus chased people out of the Temple for playing Bingo.

Irish Expats in Israel

Charlie, a fourth-grader, was retelling his favorite Bible story to his classmates. He began, “Jesus was walking along. He saw ten men who were very sick.”

He paused, trying to recall what was wrong with the men. “Umm, umm … they had a bad disease.”

Suddenly his face brightened. “They were all leprechauns!” he declared triumphantly.

Like the Cheshire Cat

One child knew the comic strips better than he knew the Bible. When Sister asked, “What was the name of the angel who appeared to Mary at the time of the Annunciation?” this student answered, “Garfield.”

Old Testament Fairy Tales

Sister Barbara’s sixth-grade CCD class was reviewing some Old Testament stories. In recounting the story of Joshua’s victory at the battle of Jericho, one lad got his tales mixed up. He said, “The Israelites surrounded the town of Jericho. Then they huffed and they puffed, and they blew the walls down.”

Then There’s the Pumpkin Eater

Sister Colette was about to tell her first-graders a Gospel story about Jesus and the apostle Peter. To introduce the story, she asked, “Does anyone know who Peter was?”

One boy timidly raised his hand and answered with a lisp, “I think he wath a wabbit.”

St. Paul’s Tenth Missionary Journey?

Sister Barbara was telling the kindergarteners stories about St. Paul. She explained how he traveled a lot, visiting Christian churches. “Did he come to Newbury?” asked one little boy, whose church was St. Helen’s in Newbury, Ohio.